iDiaries

Looking back

2011-08-22T10:19:00.002+08:00

Reading the 200+ posts by me in my younger days.. I am a complicated kid..

Literally an Angry Bird all my life.. Always felt the world was unfair towards me, I was a misfit in this world (or maybe still am). The most critical period of my life were never recorded (they actually were before i threw all of it into the fire), however some recent events are still archived away just that my mind is age-ing way faster than my body thus starting to lose my memory as to where it is.

How much have i grown since 2009, I believe that would be quite a lot but not enough. 2009 and 2010 if i remember correctly were my hardest days. Living life on the edge, not of glory but of sanity. Am i chronically depressed? My world has turned so demented. My dreams merged with reality to form some of the most disturbing and demented thoughts in my mind. All like an Alice in Wonderland gone wrong.. Perhaps in my younger days, i've met the wrong people, loved the wrong people and now i'm no better.

post #01 after 200

2009-07-09T15:27:00.002+08:00

music my asset or my liability.. brought me no honour brought me no glory brought me shame.. discouraged by those i wished would understand.. like a scholar who has no funds to pursue higher ends.. envy i do of those who can.. pathetic yet i am..

nothing comes without expectations and I definitely have never met their expectations.. they want the glory the fame the reputation the money the identity.. yet i achieved none.. like all bank loan extentions.. if you fail to meet the requirements.. you lose everything.. i probably haven't burnt my fingers.. yet it seemed like i already did.. perhaps i do still have the chance if i would take it on my own..

mental independance i might have accomplished.. yet financial independance i seem so far from.. i start to think.. was the root of everything i wanted what i dreamt for or was it what it was expected from me.. i dunno and really i don't want to care anymore.. trying wasn't the problem.. it was accomplishing..

whatever.. i should be numb to this.. after all.. it has haunted me for years..

2009-06-29T01:19:00.002+08:00

unknown stammer of rubbish..

feeling everything.. pissed bored sad happy wadeva you name it..

anyways.. siigh.. HORRIBLY BORED and nobody to talk to.. certain aims but lets not go so far (probably the reason why no matter how long time passes nothing changes)... crap... 1 more month of holiday.. i'm going to die.. i don't even know how i survived 10months of holidays.. !!!!... SHIIIT i need a LIFE..

probably find another twisted soul and we can both go demented O_o

random

2009-06-01T23:23:00.002+08:00

music.. the deep relations of its language..

music said to connect people's emotions.. music is the expression of emotions.. i like music when it starts to dement.. behind the beauty and grace is just demented.. absolutely wicked..

started taking music as a dement-ation.. making good progress in self dementation haa.. practice practice.. on a practice state of high now.. damn its 11pm already.. wish had a nice sound proof room that'll let me practice and record and whatever.. siigh.. dream room.. hahaa

currently on an ECONOMIC CRISIS.. dire state now.. my monetary values have crashed like wall street during the Great Depression.. horribly broke now.. may the tides turn haha!

I'm BACK

2009-05-13T23:53:00.002+08:00

Hi everybody.. i'm back to blog again after soo long since before my exams..

ok this is DEDICATED to ALL MY FRIENDS..

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR WISHES AND GREETINGS AND GIFTS AND LOVE AND ETC ETC

my birthday started with the morning crew with FIR-M haaa.. Anne, Edmund and Melissa came over to my place at 12am to give me a surprise birthday.. OMG... i was really super surprised and shocked.. and it was really something i hoped for.. haa.. yes!! finally a surprise party after 18years.. THANK YOU SO MUCH... i love the coffee cake and the card.. thanks for so crazily coming down at 12am.. haha love all of you..

then after they left after we sat down and crap and gossip for an hour or so.. i lost the high feeling in about 10mins? haa.. then i started to feel disappointment and sadness and what not.. like everything was reverting back.. felt like crap and fell asleep in a way i thought i never would again..

woke up in the morning even more sad cos dad didn't gimmi money again.. the day was going by normal the usual.. then jeremy decided to pop by at my place.. haha then helped him with his restaurant city then we played Tree Tag and Mortal Kombat tgt.. haha Thanks for the accompaniment!!.. (=

then we rushed down to City Hall cos we were late.. too engrossed playing.. so we cab-ed down.. haha.. then met with Brian and Jake and Benedict.. haha.. thanks Benedict for the birthday greetings.. then we headed to NYNY and Brian and Jake stayed there while me and jeremy went off to get the cake.. Bought the cake at Bakerzin the wordings look soooo niiiice... thanks Bakerzin crew!!..

got back to NYNY and Nicholas and XQ were there already.. yaay.. then we ordered and ate and had the cake.. haha.. thanks NYNY crew for the birthday song (= .. haha we had so much fun eating dinner.. hahaha i love my carbonara but after that it was like my heart was pumping cream instead of blood.. haha..

then we head down to Esplanade for the presents ceremony haha!!.. thanks to CM and XQ for the hair steamer.. YAAY now i can steam my hair.. wooo!!... then there was suppose to be a video for me to watch but nic forgot to bring his CD harddrive.. so haha.. we seperated at City Hal MRT.. THANKS to my pipa gang for having dinner with me.. and nic for paying for my meal!..

i got home.. i bathed.. immediately on my lappy and put the CD in.. watched the video.. even before it got to the nice part i was already tearing.. haha.. when it gt to the greetings omg i'm so touched.. and the bgm was soo nice!!.. OMG thanks to everybody who participated in it.. especially those overseas!!.. i LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!... and thanks XQ for coming up with this idea.. LOVE YOU LOTS TOO!!!

i really thank God for all the friends around me now.. really from loner to friends to family.. i never regret meeting such people in my life.. thanks everyone for all the days we had together the memories.. the good and bad but thats what makes us know each other more.. (=...

rare of me to do this but I also thank God for my parents who looked after me these 18 years providing for me.. LOVE you mum & dad..

thanks to my brother for the birthday greeting also!!.. haha didn't think you would remember!!... =P come back soon with the PS3 HAHA!!!...

thanks to my dear teacher from secondary school, Sam!!.. haha.. funny but the video kind of inspires me to want to play pipa with passion again.. haha..

thanks to YQ and Avilyn for the overseas video!!... see you in SG soon (=

thanks Barker Pipa guys.. haha.. the memories we share during our secondary school days schooling and CO-ing together are priceless..

thanks to XQ for coordinating the event.. haha a lot of thanks to go to you for doing so many things.. i really appreciate them all.. thank you so much... bows*

thanks to chunmei for the gift and video greeting although you couldn't come for the video but it felt like you were there anyway.. (=..

thanks to KB, YingYi, Donna, Xiaowen for the video greetings.. haha.. really liked it a lot.. there were funny moments and nice moments.. i enjoyed it all (=

Thank you everyone who participated in my 18th birthday.. i really appreciate all your well wishes.. Bows to everyone*... thank you so much..

I DECLARE.. i had a GREAT 18th B'day!!!

tell me if i missed out anything.. hah.. too many things going through my mind can't process whats coming out haa

Eventful

2009-03-11T22:51:00.002+08:00

well.. i actually had a chance to watch a Hokkien Opera (Li Yuan Opera).. and I found it a very enriching experience.. the music, the songs, the story... although its something known as very old and dull but to me that show there on the Recital Studio was just dazzling.. absolutely enjoyed the show.. all these thanks to XueQi for providing me the ticket.. haa THX!!

the next day, was my turn to perform at the Esplanade Concert Hall.. finally have my Esplanade pass to keep since my competition one was taken back T.T
the concert was "great" my scores were sent flying, but in the end it was still good.. take it as, visual aids. haa.. first time i've seen HsingHai perform and all 4 storeys of the concert hall is packed.. it felt nice performing.. took lotsa pics.. generally all in facebook.. and shocked that sam came to watch.. haa!!.. then head down to his new room.. the environment seemed so nice to just sleep after a while.. the lighting just gets to you haa..

i'm very proud of me and 1 of my creative workshop member yenyen.. we both have pulled through 2 weeks of NOBODY ELSE but ourselves.. ok maybe the 1st one had an extra.. we did a contemp for pointilistic and it was great.. other than a useless guitarist.. the 2nd one was today on Water, real glad that what i wanted to do was done and i didn't have to bother whether or not the group can or cannot do..

sad reality of school is.. i see more fake grass being installed now... and lecturers are absolutely unhappy with the school.. and the next batch of foundation students seem to have a more fun curriculum than ours.. oh well..

hoping to pull through all the stuffs and crap for the next 6-7 weeks and i'm FREE!!!.. haa

Issues in our Society.. (Typicality) & the usual

2009-02-11T21:21:00.003+08:00

The term of typical becomes a very common word to be used on practically ANYBODY on this island.. like i could be classified as a typical bad ass by typing all the not so bright sided remarks about other people just Not directly..

its just appalling.. really APPALLING.. to go through Creative Workshop again today.. why? cos there is literally NO change from our teacher.. he Literally says the same things.. now i know why, concert halls or at least decent stages were never meant for him.. its just not critical enough..

Anyway.. yes.. this question VERY interestingly came up.. another lecturer (no names due to confidential identity) crashed by our class and gave us something more trivial than critical but ok.. "what can you imagine yourself doing in the future?".. wow with an imagination of mine.. i would be doing very well and Not being an admin of the school like a fraction of graduates do.. (i wonder why? maybe they just have a sense of fiery passion for LASALLE [i doubt it])

I have no idea why.. Why are classical musicians all given the future of gigs and not concert halls and theatre halls or concert stages or just a giant nice stage.. What is the definition of Classical Musicians?.. Musicians who plays Beethoven's Symphony in a bar? or perhaps Moonlight sonata in a night club.. or would it be better to have Contemporary pure Advant Garde music while having drinks (i'm pretty sure that will ZEST your evening)

at the end of the day.. the lecturer was smart enough to zoom outta sight.. and fast.. we had a small group congregating and plotting how we gonna throw him off the building.. since there were so many holes in the walls.. why not make full use of them and CREATE ART out of sheer CREATIVITY of the mundane human life.. once he saw us there he immediately turned and took the stairs instead.. (i wished u came forward.. we would let you feel like God for a moment..)

i found out the core and foundation of this module.. Repeating.. it is the core essence of music.. make it ring in your audience's ear so much that it feels like you're hearing Rihanna on "Umbrella" going "ella ella ella" foreva (of cos let us know that was looped and not really sung).. sometimes i do think does the teacher has memory failure.. i was almost late for class.. i walked past him with a GIANT FREAKING PIPA without its case.. and he could still call my name and wonder if i was in class and doubted it when i said HERE..

You know what i really think about Creative Workshop.. its really about being creative at 8am in the morning.. create the most outrageous and avant garde piece of thing ever and show it at 9am.. its like the remedy for his Wednesday blues.. after all he is a """Professional""" drummer (followed by lots of coughing*).. and he is far too good for the students.. so much so that someone had his LUNCHTIME CONCERT up since 2008 and has POSTPONED it till NOW.. we all wonder why?? too busy?? or too busy trying to figure how to shift from a 4/4 rhythm to a 3/8 rhythm.. sad isn't it?

Creative workshop.. a sad ritual that is practiced everywk for music students.. thank god i'm leaving soon... i can't imagine myself growing old with it.. i might not live as long as Mozart did.. and of cos i just love his DICTION.. he made such an effort to read.. for EXAMPLE.. he reads Sing Huey (chinese name) as Sing Hue-y.. when its suppose to sound more like Sing Hu-ay... the pathetic thing these people can't do..

makes me start to wonder also.. what does Aubrey do as the DEAN of performing arts? i only merely remember him giving a talk about how he grew up with the circus and then went to explore theatre and he is VERY fond of Chinese Opera (bet u he doesn't understand a word.. like the rest of em)

someone i have this weird wish that we could somehow get the queen.. Ella Fitzgerald to sing by the FRASS (FAKE GRASS pumped with $$).. i'd like to see the building shatter.. i'd name that moment.. FINE ART.. where literally you pay lotsa $$$ to see that beautiful moment..

at the end of the day... we all must face it that we are slaves caught in this network of Monarchy... your feedback and comments are not wanted unless you want punishment.. of cos everything they do is right.. if the students end up jobless its just tough luck.. its hard out there.. or the word commonly used.. its "COMPETITIVE"... well... i'm sure everyone feels so good to know it is and this school has only 1 aim.. which Arts school can earn the most $...

Technical Theatre.. gawd.. don't get me started.. its a lunatic house in there.. hours of agonizing torture sitting on that hard floor for 2 hours... comon we're humans.. even if you're gods we're still mortals.. spare a thought and maybe introduce some chairs?... its true that maybe 1 day i'll get reprimanded for bitching about every little damn thing in the school.. but well lets face it.. i pay enough money to say what i want.. if you have an issue, solve the problems 1st before talking..

L is for all the Lunatics we see
A is for the pathetic Atmosphere we reside in
S is for all the Shitty times we had in school
A is for all the Ample money the school makes
L is for the Luxury the school gives to the students (FRASS)
L is the Lament of the students
E is for the Excellent number of imbeciles they hired to teach..

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ok i'm tired commenting about school classes.. i'll face it.. They will NEVER change..

anyway did some browsing and i passed by Gramaphone.. and i saw a collection of Computer Mouse shaped into a woman's body.. i asked my friend.. how ON EARTH are you going to click it, and just as i thought.. u either press on to the left or the right.. i don't remember seeing a roller on the cleaveage.. probably would cramp it's style.. i just find it.. a sad thing that people would actually buy this.. whats so fun about click away everyday on a distorted shaped mouse that only stimulates you SOMEHOW by allowing you to press on boobs instead.. is humanity that deprived of bust that they had to make fake ones? i really have no idea..

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wJ
ABSOLUTELY DRAINED

Education in LASALLE

2009-02-03T20:31:00.002+08:00

what do i really think about it?

What can you learn from "teachers" who just don't really have the capabilities of teaching certain things..

Disclaimer : Everything up here May and May NOT be accurate but so far what i see it as.. they are pretty accurate to me..

What do we learn from Creative Workshop?.. Working in a group making good noise and complicated noise gives good grades.. I mean seriously, it is seen as a performance module on a stage as big as something you can find in a bar. The end of the day, you will be "Critically Commented" on about your performance and song.. HOWEVER.. the most shocking(not really, was totally expected) thing is.. your teacher asks you to comment about your friends and later on says you're all not giving good enough criticism to help them improve.. lets start with this.. Can the teacher do the same? for some reason i seem to hear this from the teacher most of the time. "That was a nice song/piece", "Good playing", "Good Rhythm", "I feel this was unrehearsed", "Maybe you could make the song longer, it was too short".. Do you really find this critical at all?

In order to allow students to squeeze their creative juices again.. we were reshuffled into new sets of groups and generally I didn't want to work with my new one neither.. but that not being the point.. we were made to create pieces without using any instrument but just ourselves.. and instead of doing the theme Multiplication? we had to do Concepts of Multiplication like rhythm, harmony, texture etc etc etc.. what do i think about it? How much can you do with human bodies for multiplication.. get the students to stand in 1 straight line and they start spreading out? (an image of multiplication without music)... which made me think that maybe something creative for Revolution would be to hang a G-String on a line wire and use a Hair-dryer or literally your breath to blow at it.. The Revolutionized version of Air on the G String.. You're not exactly wrong, you just made it more contemporary and isn't that what the school is?

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I had recently gotten an advise to consider continuing the Music course and graduate with the Degree in Music with Pipa.. well, seriously.. if i really wanted to do that? I would got myself into NAFA... Why would I want to pay so much money on a school that can't provide me PROPER guidelines as to what the school expects of me.. Well my 1 semester in LASALLE has told me.. NEVER even dream of doing classical music here.. I am just horribly ostracized in learning, my mainstudy has no aims no purpose.. just something to follow what everyone else does just a bit more free willed.. there is nothing i need to accomplish other than to prepare for a recital (that i HAVE no guidelines for yet again). What difference will it be in Levels 1, 2 and 3.. and do i want to really keep hearing from the same teacher everyweek.. "Good pipa playing" (even though i didn't even rehearse or even BOTHERED thinking what to play and just played whatever i felt like playing at that moment).. nope i can't even imagine.. i believe my passion for music would have died there and then.. and it'll be my biggest regret to have taken music in LASALLE...

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I just really can't help but wonder where does all the money go to... students pay a LOT of money to study in this school yet everything is being cut down.. Classes have been cut down because of a budget.. so what? does that mean more money to make sure LASALLE gets the Building of Year 2010 also? or more money to maybe try putting some flowers in the "Grass".. or have they finally decided to build Block A and B already.. maybe the money was used to pay the staff? perhaps even used to GROOM the "Grass".. really where does all that money go? hiring more "teachers"?.. A mystery we have yet to solve..

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wJ
dozing off..

LASALLE C-DAY

2009-01-18T20:28:00.002+08:00

ok wow wow wow.. LASALLE OPEN HOUSE... wow... what you want me to say? when i missed the whole of it anyway..

Anyway yes.. to the main topic of today's discussion.. Parents who are really good at disgracing themselves and their children (=

we had a Performing Arts Foundation talk today.. and we had very low response yet a very heated up response from a very worried parent whos so worried i think he could join the Mr Series and Mr Worry can retire and we then have a new mascot.. 1stly we started off with a nice intro and chat.. hi here and hi there.. till this person (no names have been used in this reference of CASE STUDY due to confidential purposes that may be liable for suing evidence) [DISCLAIMER: YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU READ but in the end its MY BLOG]

so here we start.. a very concerned parent was VERY worried for his son's future.. (i'm sure we all will if we had 1).. but because of the child's passion for music.. he gave up his JC chances during the JAE just recently (what big sacrifices... go join the queue you're not the only one)... They took that risk and let all his stable (i wouldn't say it is with the current economic downturn) future go down the drain for music.. his dad understands whats it like to be young and dream (yea i think he dreams too much which is why he is what he is).. and expresses GREAT CONCERN that his child might not be able to be admitted to LASALLE because this was their only hope.. (there has to be a blardy good reason why this is your last hope and thats because the child can't enter NAFA?) and expresses a hint that LASALLE will now assure his child a seat (fat dreams sir.. you didn't even sponser 1/100 of the FRASS).. anyway.. we'd like you to understand (not that you would anyway) that due to your very passionate quote we decided to let your son in.. BUT due to your overly irrelevant passionate sense of reality?.. lets face it.. its HARD out there.. and your child doesn't meet the ends or perhaps i should say fails to meet the cut.. thus he won't be in.. its just REALITY... we all got to face it some time of our lives.. 5 years and 10 years down.. REALITY is just there (= .. but anyway.. Thank You for gracing the Event.. we the LASALLE-ians of 08/09 PAFoundation have had a wonderful time finding out more about you and a organisation that we all never heard of (= We wish you ALL the BEST in your road of musicianship (maybe it hasn't started >.>).. but yes.. we bid you farewell with a biiig smile (= please don't come back ever.. THANK YOU DON'T COME AGAIN~

LASALLE-ians let us all wave with big smiles on our faces to Mr. C and our Prospective Student(NOT) Mr. O..

of cos with all that earlier... the many years of Yoga Harris did went down the drain.. so much for the US Harris.. haha. what we saw was the SG Harris.. definitely MADE IN SINGAPORE... haha!!!..

I want the other C-Day shirt.. i want the white one.. i took the black one.. hope he'll give me the other... sigh as if he would.. lol...

well.. yea... thats what i know of C-Day today... but looks like good job still.. a JOB well DONE.. (=

2009 New Year, New Possibilities.. maybe not for some but oh well (=

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO ALL PERFORMING ARTS FOUNDATION 08/09-ers.. WE ROCK!!!..

God Curse LASALLE

2009-01-15T21:08:00.003+08:00

i tell u and i tell you again.. LASALLE is like COMPLETE FAILURE SCHOOL... or at least being in FOUNDATION is the most F&#%-ed up time of your life.. it COMPLETELY sux i tell you.. lets start with numbers..

No.1 : You have the most shit-headed teachers of shit headed teachers.. and to think they are your superiors because they are older and white? complete failures they are.. i played a ruan and guess whats the comment i got.. "Ivan, as usual Good Pipa Playing" my gawd.. i almost rolled all over the floor laughing at that.

No.2 : Foundation students are part of LASALLE.. wow thanks for letting us feel so left out anyway.. because we have a different course programme that we need to achieve a """holistic""" performing arts education.. like SCREW OFF.. to start off with? i'm NOT MAJORING IN PERFORMING ARTS OF ANYSORT THAT U THINK OFF...

No.3 : Thank you for letting me in and making feel as if i'm here to sponser you money to renovate ur GRASS.. __ ... tell me when am i treated like a student in there in terms of mainstudy.. i don't have a syllabus, i don't have a guideline, i don't even have a freaking IDEA what the fish you want... i DON'T even think u UNDERSTAND wtheck u have been listening to.. dumbasses.. (in a fast technical piece, "please slow down and enjoy your notes" THANKS failures)

No.4 : WHY the F%#$ must i be marked down for Creative Workshop because my group member is late (LIKE FISHING ALL THE TIME) and i get 0 for the week?!?!? what BULLF%#$ is this... i ALREADY am being VERY NICE to be as INDIVIDUALISTIC as possible to keep myself FLOATING and now u decide to throw the ANCHOR on me?!?! u F%#$ nut...

No.5 : I don't owe u.. YOU OWE ME.. i pay for freaking "ADVANCE TUITION FEES" that i don't even freaking attend cos ITS COLLEGE CLOSURE.. fishing money vampires.. seriously just __ you..

No.6 : WHERE does all the money really go??? You are even freaking SLASHING THE FOUNDATION EDUCATION BUDGET NOW!!!.. with all the SPARE MONEY wtf u do with it? you couldn't even UPGRADE your damn SLOW INTERNET and u can spend it on new furnishing for the library and changing your freaking FAKE GRASS..

No.7 : Do you really think that foundation are really foundation? from what i see?? i think there are a handful of foundations that can EASILY WIPE YOUR PATHETIC BA STUDENTS if they had the same treatment... so PLEASE DON'T treat your foundation students as if they were INEXPERIENCED or children who have NEVER experienced performing on a BIGGER PLATFORM than your PATHETIC THEATRE that is so FREAKING STUPIDLY designed for NOTHING!..

No.8 : Lunch-time performance is only for higher level.. THANKS.. i feel so part of this school already.. "OUTSTANDING POPULAR MUSIC STUDENTS" were they really outstanding or is that because thats all you have... cos for 1 they were like SHIT..

guess that was enough reasons to say LASALLE SUX..

gosh.. i ran out of things to say.. this school just makes me speechless and i'm not even done... sigh.. education these days...

Walked off
wJ

BAD BAD BAD!!!!

2009-01-08T10:14:00.002+08:00

hey all... hope everyone had a good week? mine wasn't so bad this week or at least things were turning out quite nicely i suppose.. hahaa UNTIL my laptop went JIBABOOM!!... my gawd... now i'm technologically crippled.. T.T no more videos and songs and music THANK GOD i recently added all my favourite songs into my iPhone(iPod) liao.. hahaaa Phew*...

Anyway now i'm able to till blog in school thanks to Library and WIRELESS@LASALLE and currently using my fren, Anne's DA macbook.. hahaa i love DA macbook.. so much better than The Macbook.. hahaa.. i want one too.. hahaaa.. wheres my money gonna magically appear 1 day.. haha.. i am willing to suffer with the lousy iPhone if i can get Da Macbook but sadly my stupid ACER still has 4 years warranty.. so have to use till then.. sigh sad life isn't it? Still haven't had breakfast and am very hungry at the moment but what the heck.. haha shall fuel myself with technology... this macbook is soooooooo COOOOOOL.. Thanks Anne (= [if u happen to see this]

Anyway OMG.. yesterday i went to Bras Basah McDonalds?? and such a "lak kak" place would generally expect a normal or "lak kak" McDonald but GUESS WHAT?!?!? it was the most high tech HIGH CLASS and most COOLEST McDonalds i ever visited YOU MUST VISIT!!! sadly i didn't take any pictures with my FIR group.. hahaha... cos we had to rush for class already... so oh well.. but yea the whole thing was soooooo artistic and cool and modern.. doesn't feel like a fastfood restaurant also.. and and and theres a new menu and there are things like "Shaka Shaka Chicken" for like $2?? the picture shows a bowl of shaker flavor salt and 1 piece of chicken like it came from McChicken.. was thinking if it was like this i rather get the McChicken still haha.. proves to have more worth in it then "Shaka Shaka Chicken" hahaha..

Had Technical Theatre class yesterday OMG... was rather impromptu thinking required.. firstly we had barely any introductions to what we are required to do or think but just chunk of info of what our lecturer does.. (he is currently away in Perth working.. as usual most of the lecturers are still overseas -_- ) and yea.. and suddenly poof we get this script and we have to pick an aspect of design and write out how we gonna work with this script given to us and hand it in by the end of lesson.. i was like OMG!!!... Costume/Set/Lighting/Sound/AV Design.. i chose Sound.. since Set was like dumb... and costume.. dun trust my drawing.. haha... Lighting.. i never really paid attention to how lights can communicate so much with audience.. i only know lights on lights off and spotlights.. AV no idea what audio Visual does so outta my category. so left with sound.. so i just did a very brief writeup of what kind of sounds and music can be used in between dialogues and within the whole play to allow a very strong sense of communicating connection between audience and performers.. well seems like Nicole was rather impressed by my ideas because i have jumped into communicating with the audience which is the most important thing of the whole thing anyway.. haha

Had Choir on Tuesday trust me it was nice and NOT.. was in Tenor and i had to keep repeat the stupid phrase cos the other Tenors are like musically challenged.. they can't sing(can shout), they can't pitch, they can't focus, they can't stop being asses.. totally tires my throat by constantly repeating and worst of all i'm not having a very good throat recently to want to strain it so much.. so yea.. RAWR.. and sadly they are those people i most likely not want to have any connections with but sadly some of them are my CW group mates.. -_-.. i hate CW.. but i shall be lenient since it moved from 9am to 10am.. so yea i get more sleep now instead of waking so early to meet my groupmates that are not always there..

Tim gave us a talk about Mainstudy and as usual i was the odd one out like wadeva... i had no guidelines, i had no outlines to how my exam works.. everything has to be discussed.. I am hoping to play Butterfly Lovers Concerto but apparently it seems the Piano is very hard.. so maybe consider 1st then decide.. don't want to screw both myself and pianist by tackling something outta our range.. hahaa.. Submitted my transfer of course application and guess what i'm left to die alone... stupid performing Arts faculty.. after i just mention that i'm not doing Music Level 1 i'm left to die alone cos its none of their business anymore.. grrr.. so irritating.. i got scammed into this and now i'm being left to find my own way out of the scam?? what kinda stupid logic is this..

It seems my results have been delayed again due to unknown reasons.. hope PL keeps his promise and releases it today still.. haha.. so far i only know i got 1st Class Honors for Research and Aural.. i got 3rd Class for Mainstudy cos i scored freaking badly... dunno why.. maybe just because they don't understand pipa or something.. wadeva.. they allowed themselves to be mocked for they can't read numbers that are basically solfeg numbers... -_-.. and they got totally jacked when they asked how could i Sight-read without looking at the score halfway through the piece.. i was like.. er?? cos i saw the pattern and realized its actually a flowing system that just descends??? they immediately started looking at the score and going. ohh wow.. ok... hmm maybe this is too easy.. -_-.. (like WADEVA)

School so far hasn't been really that fun.. i like Adrian's class best still.. hahhaa.. but oh well... having History later without my laptop i'm GOING TO DIE!!! i have to write out all the massive amount of notes instead of typing them.. gosh.. i'm sooo SCREWED!! ... cos its a LOT of work.. sigh... please tell me my laptop no longer has this model because its too old and they gimmi a nice new acer model that has better grapics too.. i'll be SOOOOO GRATEFUL.. hahah.. oh well.. happy DREAMING...

ok anyway yea.. thats all about i have to like post and rant and blog and wadeva.. super wadeva now because my acer is dead.. but omg i have totally enjoyed every moment i spent typing on this DA macbook.. its soooo nice.. the feeling is just haha maybe partially euphoric.. hahaha.. wadeva =P

Signing oFF

random random random

2009-01-04T17:59:00.002+08:00

lame random sudden thought came across my mind for perhaps humor..

unite was made by (u)(n)(i) + e
apparently this equation could not form because u n i did not match..

random.. angry.. irritated.. nerve-racking.. i'm LOSING in Hong Kong Mahjong!!.. grumble*

re-edits

2009-01-04T16:24:00.004+08:00

changed my blogskin to my old one.. still prefer this out of the rest.. realized i changed something? yes i changed the color.. hahaha..

anyways yea.. hope everyone had a great new year? lets all have a brand new start this year.. whats left behind let it be left behind.. Nothing to feel sad and burdened by because they were already left behind the moment u acknowledged 2009.. they were nothing but memories.. (=

ok well i had a commentless newyear.. hah.. the night b4 01/01/09 was spent prawning?!? ok at least i didn't cos i hate the environment.. it was smelly and smoky.. -_-.. i hate smoke.. so i ended up walking on the road from 3am to 5.30am.. sucks rite? oh well.. then went off with nic to find chunmei at ECP to catch the 1st sunrise of the year.. it was nice.. at least it felt nice.. considering that i ignored my surroundings.. looks sideways*

shortly after the "sunrise" it was too hot so we left to catch breakfast.. Great!.. our 1st breakfast of the year was McDonald.. geez.. thats kinda crappy but oh well. haha.. cheers to Coffee Bean.. i missed the fireworks that everyone said was the best!?!?!?! wth... this sux.. becos i was underground in the MRT waiting for nic.. T.T i MISSED IT!!!... crap..

well with all these happening means school's starting.. and thats good and bad.. bad thing is Creative Workshop is still on.. and the rules haven't changed.. WTF.... i wanna take a gun and fire at Darren's Heart with all my hatred in it.. !!!.. oh well.. heck care.. hahaha..

Madness.. wkends spend running liao.. saturdays at Chinatown to play Ruan ($$$$$).... sundays at HsingHai to play Pipa (no $$).. haha.. ok pretty much looking forward to resuming HsingHai.. haha..

Went to Lao Pa Sat last nite with xq and nic.. hah mad trio.. and then take pics by the "riverside" (more like bridge) haahahaa...!!

To reduce the complains of BOREDOM cos all i ever do is spam WORDS!!.. heres some pics..

sick... disastrously

2008-12-28T00:40:00.002+08:00

wow i think i can go do those chinese dramas.. spit blood and die.. sick sick sick!!!... useless doctors find nothing wrong with me..

anyway.. haha.. today went to this really small and old orchestra to play ruan lol... i amuse myself at times.. i could actually sight read quite .... smoothly.. haha.. took me 1 night to find the "qiao men" to lun... haha.. then found out i was the only person playing ruan there.. cos the other ruanner took leave O_o... thank god still got xq next to me.. can hear where on earth i am.. haa.. songs so blur... all so badly handwritten =P.. scary thing was.. conductor ask me play solo song for ruan.. i was like X_x.. i'm not a ruan player.. Lol!!..

went to eat some "dian xin" shop.. wasn't that bad.. pretty average.. haha i wished there was more to it.. then walked the whole MS being lame and random and complaining complaining the whole of Marina.. then ended up in Gelare to eat WAFFLE!!.. i love the waffle.. with the Chocolate Overload... haha personal favourite on my 1st visit.. lol..

man.. 超级星光大道第四季 rocks... 阿妹 host and that is totally kick ass.. haha.. 阿妹 is the goddess of chinese songs... haha.. a must watch... haha..

random random

2008-12-21T00:48:00.002+08:00

hey haven't been popping back ever since.. haha..

ok due to a fan request (LOL i'm being lame again)

i watched NCMC Ruan Open.. hmmm.. what can i say.. it was something i sort of enjoyed watching.. i heard the Premier of Arabia Capricio (if i'm correct) hmm.. its a nice song but i believe "chen wei jian" transposed it wrongly.. cos apparently when played on ruan.. it sounds totally WRONG.. but generally the "xuan lu" is nice.. and i heard the bell yet again for NCMC.. it was on Ester for Man Jiang Hong.. gosh.. ok i thought it was a bit sloow.. then i sorta lost focus already.. i was like omg.. cannot.. cannot..!! cos i just lived through guzheng earlier which BORED me to death.. LITERALLY.. not fascinating, not interesting.. so was falling asleep...

well watched prize winners.. haha.. ok no fascinating... i thought it would be wow.. 1st prize winners.. comon gimmi a show.. in the end it was totally WTH.. nvm.. no comment no comment... VOMIT*...

ahh quite a lot happened.. i'm a bit lost to what to feel. but i guess i am happy.. haa.. i wished for a lot of things.. and they seem to be coming true slowly.. i may have just gone through 1 of my stormy periods but hey in everystorm the rainbow follows suit.. so what should i want to keep looking at something so dull and benefitless for so long.. i can pursue somthing else...

i feel more free now that competition is over. its like wow... life came back to me.. or at least i can pursue life again... although i feel weird that now the sudden change that everything is so much more relaxed i'm a bit not too used to this feeling..

haha.. nothing much to say.. cos i've got them all written down in a book of memories..

"Nothing is forever yours, but the memories you treasure are forever yours to keep."

- 9 1215225 21 -

Welcome Back?

2008-12-09T22:22:00.002+08:00

its been sometime already.. things disappear things appear.. i would say life has been rather balanced.. i had my pit lows and sky highs.. of cos some senses won't just disappear as if a memory of seeing a certain thing along the street.. some senses can haunt one for years.. but in the end they are all still memories.. hopefully not memories of Nobody..

I walked a path i never dreamt in my entire life i would.. life has been harsh yet rewarding in different ways.. the results may not have been what was to be expected but the process of it was what was really rewarding.. things are just meant to be the way they were meant to be.. fate is cruel..

at least now things clear up.. i'm less stressed again.. gives me ample time to freely think what i want to do and to pay some attention to myself.. i've managed to drift back into the land of dreams.. where dreams are never reality but reality might be like dreams.. perhaps it doesn't apply always but maybe something to make one happier is better than none..

i am well and fine.. and i want to thank all those who were beside me and by my side on that day.. your well wishes and concern and care meant a lot to me.. thank you for all the encourages to keep me moving on.. perhaps this is truly my lowest point i've ever felt.. never have i, really been into such a state beyond my most miserable moments.. somethings are just not meant to be but i wish that somethings can be.. wishing in silence.. i'll never say them.. trust in time and maybe time will be the answer..

well haa.. guess the hardest of all hardest has its own vunerability.. thankfully not everybody saw that most disgraceful moment.. one with so much pride to hold back all his emotions had his walls crumbled by hearing the very voices of his friend's concerns..

ok well i went through competition and i lived through it i suppose.. the process was tiring la.. the day b4 it i couldn't control anything.. i couldn't start my song neither could i keep my focus.. my mind was wavering for the worst of the worst already.. i saw it coming.. and it did.. life seemed to suddenly stop at that moment.. everything i wanted to do just dashed across... but still nonetheless thanks to all who came down to support me.. pipa gang, Adrian(lecturer), seryang.. well haha.. thought lots of my classmates would be there.. but oh well.. at least looking at the brighter side of it.. i didn't have to face them..

oh well oh well... sadly MY LIFE moved on (= ..
or at least there are better things for me to keep aiming for than to wallow in self misery.. haha.. bought a nice book for diary.. think i'm going to have fun scribbling every treasured moment in it.. ha..

Right... back to life.. like they say life goes on.. (=

"when you say nothing at all"

Adios...

keep moving on anyway..

2008-12-03T00:09:00.002+08:00

what an old song " Get on Up, when you're down. Baby, keep on moving anyway. I know its tough but its ok to keep on movin on anyway ". haha

ok i know i haven't been blogging since FOREVA... its already December... Competition is HERE.. whaoo.. SOLO CATEGORY HAS JUST BEGUN ITS SEASON a few minutes ago.. the DAY HAS STARTED.. i have a few more days.. -_- .. and well yea.. watched the ensemble competition.. omg the Bradell group "GaoHu" player was like omg... superb.. never heard better from youths..

coming to think of it.. oh shit my competition is the day after tomorrow.. nut nuts!!!

aiya can one la.. (arrogant ass)... shit i don't think can leh. (no confidence).... O_O (lame) ....

argh randomness.. ok i'm tired.. low fuel... LOW ON GASOLINE... i'm feeding on encouragement from my peers to keep going.. i like the fact that my friends all think i can do it.. but i hate the fact that i think i can't.. !!!!.. ok maybe i can.. i think.. argh soo.. wadeva..

i hate my hair.. it looks disgusting... i need to do something to make it nicer than disgusting.. i wan my coat T.T i love it... i waaan it.. i'll try get it later today.. (=... oops.. hahahahahahahhahha...

shiiiiit.. ok la... good luck premier song/s users.. and BEST OF LUCK to all my frens!!! lets do this thing.. !!! DO!!!...

omg la.. if i'm seen VERY FREE after friday.. go figure.. or if u see newspaper article going.. Boy Jumped singapore river.. on saturday.. go figure (=

OK TA TA.. BUSY!!!!! (freaking flying around like aeroplane)

OH MY GAWD

2008-11-12T23:36:00.003+08:00

OMG omg omg... omg at so many things

well ok.. its really funny how many things can pop up and out anytime.. i am probably most likely used to it already.. just like how my moods can pop up and out anytime also.. Had my last creative workshop last week with my group.. SOOO HAPPY... dunid to work with them for 7 weeks.. or around there.. i wish that class was scraped away anyway..

Keyboard assesment.. i don't even want to talk about it...

Mainstudy assesment.. my string snapped.. well i still thought of continuing without it.. but it was 1st string so too bad.. my most impt string.. sigh... so had to restart...

Choir assesment, very satisfied with it.... definitely after all that amount of practice and dynamics and expressions used.

Group Ensemble.. I must orchestrate a mini Chinese Orchestra!!... HOW WITHOUT INSTRUMENTS.. and 1 thing i definitely admit.. i can rearrange things but not create things.. I fail as a musician to create anything.. even if i did they were all either adaptations or just disgusting cheena music.. hating myself for it...

More assesments coming soon.. friday the most stressing.. i got Aural, Theory and Gamelan.. i am PANICING FOR EVERYTHING NOW...

i will continue to work hard to achieve the many things i want.. whether they become mine or not ultimately its just life..

competition just round the corner... moods are definitely swinging.. well i definitely don't expect any of the lecturers to actually give a damn that i'm already freaking stressed out with all these... nothing else can support me through this time other than myself and some sanity... sorry to all those i've asked for favours to help me complete some of my school works to you, i really cannot produce anywork right now till december is over..

i find myself so stressed after today.. i just went to the school library and started smashing the keyboard.. -_-... then wanted to go eat ice.. found it too expensive.. then went to bugis junction for Ice Kachang with edmund.. then suddenly got craving to just STUFF myself till content.. so we went Sakae Sushi buffet.. amazingly its cheaper now.. then we went back to school to watch the Musical "Nunsense", really great show, very funny... argh... i always feel so crippled without my phone.. batt died in the evening... now for some pictures like i promised haha

Pic 1 : Tempting isn't it?

Pic 2 : Garliic!!!

Pic 3 : SINFUL...

Pic 4 : The Soup Spoon with Edmund (=

Pic 5 : If life was like a coffee what would yours be..?

Excuse me

2008-11-03T22:37:00.002+08:00

ahh.. pardon me.. my simple mind has breached levels beyond sane.. my whole week was arduously insane.. complete demonification i should say.. scary..

cm went to shanghai on sat morning.. sadly i didn't wake up cos i slept at 4.30 and intended to wake at 5.30.. shouldn't have slept... sian...

celebrated Sam's b'day on Sat.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY... we bought him CK belt.. haha i think its the best gift we ever gave him.. at least he was VERY VERY VERY happy with it.. haha.. the moment was worth it..

anyway.. my week ended most disastrously.. i changed nails and went for lesson... BIGGEST REGRET!!!... i totally cannot feel a thing... felt super chao uncomfortable playing anything i just gave up playing during lesson... "WTF!!" i gave up... how bold.. ha.. ok la.. adapting now... BETTER BE FAST.. anyway another incident happened and totally killed all my mood..

LETS TALK THIS OUT!
i was just having those normal busy bus trips on Sunday and guess what.. just because my bag was huge and my pipa just as huge.. i was standing at the back column after the door. and there was barely space behind me.. this old uncle decided to stand behind me out of everywhere else.. and one lady next to me wanted to exit of cos i had to adjust myself.. and i believe i was pushing against the uncle... GUESS WHAT... he FREAKING SLAMMED MY PIPA FORWARD!!... i swore i wanted to unsheath it and smash his blardy hollow head.. then whole bus trip gimmi that "du lan black face".. TMD...

the elderly always complain youths have no respect for them.. DO THEY HAVE ANY FOR US? nut twits.. who pays taxes and crap so that the government can aid/support them.. stupid senial old disrespectful uncle..

haha i was reminded of Little Britain thanks to Adrian.. haha... teach halfway got tired decide to entertain himself answering us.. "the computer says, No." his digressed stories are all so freaking funny.. "Winter Sonata ur HEAD LA".. ok la.. his classes are the most fun so far.. at least got learn something..

Assesments are coming.. so is competition... pull some spirit and energy and CHIOONG!!.. sadly my batteries are dry liao.. need recharge.. but not enough time.. so gotta use self moti to recharge ba.. ha...

The past forever haunts the present.. the present may not reflect the future.. all is unpredictable.. yet all so balanced..

will post some nice pics soon..

......................

2008-10-28T22:43:00.003+08:00

i totally dunno what to do right now... everything so very complicated, everything all mixed up right now.. i don't know what my mind is thinking at all.. the past seems to patch themselves up slowly yet the present is just tearing apart.. i don't even want to know whats the future.. i am really just beyond confused and everything right now.. i don't even know what went wrong where it went wrong how it went wrong... for God's sake i don't even know what blardy happened.. my mind is just killing me with a lot of thoughts and stuffs.. the past and present just fusing together and definitely NOT producing any good products other than more than sheer utter pain..

i'm still racing with my mind saying "what am i doing?!?!" i rather definite that i'm apparently hearing 2 people right now.. weijie and ivan.. my minds a mess and everything that i picture in my mind is a mess.. how many times do i need this to happen.. my mind is at its extreme end driving me close to crazy.. my moods are swinging at extreme polarities.. maybe i really have toiled all my past too long.. i cannot being to understand what is on my mind.. and i'm most definitely irritated that is why the blardy hell am i still crying... or at least what is it thats trigerring all these.. am i even human? everything is a giant mess now.. i don't even know whats left and right.. my mind is showing me impressions/pictures starting from 5 years back.. all the phases of my life are all coming back to me, masks, lies, violence, misery, jealousy, hatred, agony..

i know for sure right now i really wish i can put myself to sleep and never wake up... i cannot.. guess this is my own double edge.. i've left soo many things unsolved and now they've all come to haunt me at once.. my nights haunted by the past, every night.. my days haunted by remorse and reality daily.. who am i, what am i, why does it feel like i'm having a double personality or perhaps more.. voices in my head cramming cramming.. i want them all to SHUT UP but they won't.. how long will this punishment last.. what is the penance that i need to pay.. its already starting to disorient everything i'm doing again.. its a vicious cycle.. i dunno what on earth i'm saying at all.. i really cannot handle my mind.. its become something that is controlled by me yet by another me..

things that left me looks like or feels like patching up.. or is it just my hopeful wish.. but even so, why then does the pain still last.. the wait still aching.. the silence still there.. what is my penance, i willingly will pay to please let this punishment end.. all these start to happen just because i saw my past right before me.. i don't understand.. it doesn't make logic anymore..

left utterly horribly confused and mixed.. wishing time will stop

when will my time be up?

2008-10-27T23:13:00.004+08:00

Disclaimer: What you read might deprove your chinese.

已经三年了。我还却无法忘记那几天。三年后，你的影子还深深的在我脑海里。

沉默了好几天，已为能忍就忍，但一看到了那熟悉的照片而让我突然掉眼泪。可能
是我这个月第二次哭的那么残。想找随个人谈话，让我比自己想别的事，但没人在。
最后，就哭到睡为止。

单独时，心情很乱，也很差。随时都能不知不觉的掉眼泪。眼泪温热了我的脸，感
觉的确有痛。

why is it things are showing signs of repeat when there was no intention nor motive.. it always seems to be my fault.. anything and everything that has left an impression on me somehow all seems to be my fault.. everything is just starting to fall back again, and this feeling is freaking pathetic.. i don't need more, true enough i've never really settled anything i've only placed them aside and not think about them..

ironic is just everything i say,do,think.. i hate going on like this.. everyday anything bad happens to my surroundings it always ends up me blaming myself.. because i'm imperfect because i'm stupid because i'm a loner who has depended on people too much? i keep everything in because i didn't want to be seen as pathetic, all the past, present and future. i didn't want to be to known as who i used to be.. dependant, irritating, possesive, obssesive and pathetic. i don't blame life being unfair to me, cos i'm definite there are others far worst off than me.. i don't need people to understand why i think differently.. i'm just ironic and i know it myself.. i even freaking lie to myself at times..

i don't want to say anymore.. as useless as i am.. i'm going to leave all this here today, and move on to tomorrow.. the next day still comes, time doesn't wait for mistakes and regrets. i can only deeply say to everyone and anyone i've made a misunderstanding with or hurt or annoyed, i'm sorry.

i don't want to pursue today any furthur..
Good Nite..

rojak, yong tau fu, chapalang

2008-10-20T10:51:00.003+08:00

lots of things happened past few days.. shan't mention much...

anyways haha.. i got to see Wuzun life on Wednesday!!.. was like waaa.. haha.. sadly YET AGAIN.. i DIDN'T HAVE THE CAMERA WITH ME!!.. anyways ok took some blur blur pics..

woo.. ok so blur.. so sad... (ToT) ...

well school.. same ol same ol... nothing much to say.. it slightly agitates me each day.. but at least i feel better when the weekends come.. about time i start doing my thesis again liao..

Went to KLP again wif cm and xq.. saw the BI coat.. i think its nice yet not so nice... i prefer it to have higher collars and longer tails.. hahahaha... ate Korean Stall at Foodcourt wasn't the best but was quite ok.. played arcade.. they ball game was rather fun.. the win a PSP game was so stressful.. i rather play the 2D one using red blocks.. instead of 3D ladders.. (^o^)

then saturday spent like most of my day locked in.. "zi bi" jus kidding.. haha..

Sunday went for lesson... ok ok la.. not very good can do better.. ha.. and it finally rained.. the trio of us went to Bugis then Central.. bought my white shoes... hopefully its good enough.. since it costs me 60SGD.. then we went ya kun to be uncle and aunties.. "jia loti, lim kopi" hahaa.

looking forward to the next coffee gathering.. (^o^)

probably will be longer gaps

2008-10-12T00:18:00.002+08:00

To ALL CONTESTANTS OF NCMC 2008!!.. JIAYOU, GAMBATE, KEEP GOING!!!

found what i really want and really want to do... so i shall put that into practice.. because i know my aims very clearly and how much it means to me... so lets all work hard (=

Balloting on Friday was like sooo stress.. ok results came out and its still tough.. haa.. the numbers just going through my head.. 1,3,4,5,14,15,16 and who knows maybe some in between... arghh

dreaming quite a lot in the nite lately.. all just as unexpected and purely not comparable to reality.. so yea... shall keep mum about them since i don't really remember what were the events anymore..

gotta remember to practice for my Jazz Piano for Monday!! and etc etc etc... 2 more weeks to essay submission... i hate this last few months.. so freaking Busy la... i'm like flipping through books or typing away on Microsoft Word everyday.. and now i gotta start re-reading my History notes i've taken for History class.. Assessment week is coming !!!...

celebrated Jeremy's birthday at Minds Cafe... got lost cos we were at Clark Quay and not Boat Quay... looks similar anyway... haha Happy Early 18th my dear old friend.. ha.. its been erm.. 5 years since? haa

okie signing out!

Voiding the feelings of the unnatural

2008-10-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

Monday had last minute notice that Rhythm Ensemble was canceled cos Andy was sick.. so went to watch Boys over Flowers FINAL yay finally see the show to its end.. Tsukasa and Makino got married.. although i still would rather watch it if it was Hanazawa Rui and Makino.. haha.. Oguri Shun.. woo.. haa.. i saw him... on the Movie Screen that is.. haha its like Yaaaayy..!! he is acting as Hanazawa Rui my favourite Character again.. haha so satisfied paying that $6.. i feel like watching again.. haha

Tuesday had no school cos College close at 1pm and class starts at 1pm.. so stayed home and do my regular routine.. then in the evening went to NAFA to watch concert.. haha hmm been quite a long time since i saw Jeremy.. haha (although i rmb last seeing him erm.. a few weeks back for lesson lol).. then saw YiQing performing on stage.. haha.. ok la.. all very long never contact liao.. then went to eat roti prata with Xueqi and her mum.. haha.. "THANKS AUNTIE for the meal.. Arigato Gozaimasu"

Wednesday, Hari Raya Puasa cum Children's Day.. of cos i celebrate neither.. so as usual.. the normal routine.. had lesson.. wasn't good and i know it from everywhere of myself.. time running out.. i must really you know.. even if cannot must force something out of it even if i just breakdown from practicing even though i can't make it..

Today, went back to school.. overslept thought was gonna be marked late for Aural.. to my surprise teacher thought this week no school.. Zzzz.. so i rot in the library till noon then went LJS to eat.. then went back to find some of my classmates on the Green.. so sat with them and chat.. haha got a classmate asking me a lot of questions, questions about Art in singapore and about my research and my thinking on Dance.. heh heh.. creative workshop i don't think anyone will wanna use my concept of timelessness.. simply agonising torture.. imagine living forever and you see the clock repeating its cycle for eternity and you live through eras and ages.. how much pain you have to bear if you are constantly hurt everytime.. Displayed my Essay Plan to Felix today, he was happy with it in a way.. said i was good at least i know what i want to get and what i am aiming towards.. i very scared i do wrongly then screw up my whole thing.. haa

ARghhh.. so stress.. (actually not really) but its just that sorta feeling.. i dunno izit because competition is coming or i'm just facing things that i don't want to face so commonly... as usual i will keep my silence.. after all, its better to be nobody than a sore thumb sticking right out.. hee hee thanks to all who wished my luck for Balloting Day.. haha i so drama..

can't explain why i somehow just break down and flood sometimes.. a feeling that when i recite it in my head just makes me feel so worthless and stupid.. perhaps maybe i take certain things too deeply or too seriously thats why i'm prone to this.. its so true that it is easier to be with those who have been with you for years than others.. at least its more comfortable because there is a mutual understanding.. i dun even know whats up with me.. maybe i got so high recently was because i've been stoning for 10months and wallowing in retardedness doing retarded things and planning retarded things.. which totally makes me wanna stab myself..

What are tears and emotions.. why do they occur when u least expect it.. am i that frail?.. mere words and experiences can shatter.. its become some issue on me arghh... gotta wash it off... i need to focus now.. at least for the next 12/13 weeks i must FOCUS...

Jiayou WeiJie you can do it... or at least you must.. haa

2008-09-28T23:59:00.002+08:00

Here marks the end of my Term Break..

i think i miss holidays so much again.. even though i swear i remember complaining to EVERYONE that 10months holiday is a killer.. because i didn't know how to spend it efficiently, now that i do.. i feel sad not having that much time already.. haa.. always too late to regret.. looking forward till after Dec20 where i have my last 10 days of holiday... MY ONLY HOLIDAY for December.. so not cool rite? had a lot of thoughts again this holiday.. things i think i'll do in future.. or at least plan to.. i need to find myself a stable future.. and i think my current situation is sort of stable but is a retarded stable.. i don't know.. truth is i don't even know what i'll do in the future.. i can't really imagine myself doing anything in the future other than performing and shrugs* teaching?

anyway.. right.. all about holiday..

Monday onwards.. going by the day quite well i guess.. spending quality time with my laptop and pipa.. haha.. well i sorta do that everyday so hah...

Anyway yea.. the only interesting parts were going to British India seeing this really really really nice coat like shirt/coat whatever you call it, but i don't dare buy it partly cos its $100+ and i'm afraid it won't match with me... argh!!.. well ok la.. holidays spent quite ok.. was rather bored at first.. then i'll meet up xueqi once a while to eat or walk around...

We went to watch Mirrors after eating Suki Sushi Buffet... its not exactly scary but just gorey.. i was so scared... not of the movie but of entering.. haha.. cos its M18... but i still got through... EVEN THOUGH MY ID WAS CHECKED!!... haa..

School is starting tomorrow.. figured a lot of things... found back the composure i had..

RANDOM RANDOM TALK TALK BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA

hmm dunno what to say or how to say it in a way.. very indirect as usual... typical me..

lets put it like this..

sigh.. there used to be A... but it was like you know me being very stupid in a way... i don't know.. i didn't really feel much about it.. probably becos of my natural biasness.. then came B and C... well time went along... C is gone.. so its A and B now... its soo like i don't know.. distracting? confusing??? its like.. you can aways think of 1... but dream of the other.. -_-... ARGH!!!... i don't expect anything good coming from either la... i resent to fate liao.. like someone always says... "no fate.."

i had this awkwardly VERY VERY weird dream that nite.. i dreamt that someone i know suddenly went missing.. like wiped out from memory or existence... its like that person no longer exists... i got soo sad for some reason that i don't even know.. i freak out when i woke up.. i msged that person just to check.. thankfully got reply.. haa.. so weird rite..

really just rather irritating when people take advantage of your goodwill/naiveness.. i guess the general public will agree with me on this... i hate feeling like a post-it pad.. there to aid someone and then just torn and thrown into the bin.. true i'm not a easily sociable person if the relation between us is not close.. and rite ok thats my fault becos i'm not easy to understand because i'm very reserved.. i hold things back.. i keep quiet.. i choose to swallow things down and leave it.. and ok i can't deny.. i'm definitely not one person that can be very popular.. what am i good at? music and computer games? not rich, not cool, not very expressive... (hahaha my expression of "high" isn't very far from being normal with a faster pace of speech).. i dunno i DUNO!... like someone told me before... i always depend on people close enough to me to tune me... that makes me feel stupid at times when i think.. cos that just labels me as very dependant on people.. which makes me lack individualism.. and with that.. i sometimes tend to be very possesive.. which leads to jealousy..!!!.. wtheck.. ivan so complicated.. haa..

ohh my... Lee-Hom coming to singapore on NOVEMBER!!! i want to WATCH!... shit...

i think FRH coming on December rite? i dunno yet... but if they do. i wanna watch also. shiiiit.. haha.. >.<

Current Mood : "Cha-pa-lang" haa

aiyo tired already.. gd luck to all Promos people... its ending soon... some tomorrow some 2 weeks later haa.. jy jy.. hear from you all soon and catch up one day (=

BuhBye...

Currently Listening to : Mariah Carey - Bye Bye... (so dots right? hahaha.... not my fault.. its on a blog playing haaa...)

Finally the Holidays

2008-09-21T23:34:00.002+08:00

What a week this week was... spent my whole week rushing 5 research essays.. now i gotta prepare my thesis plan...

Monday, went for Rhythm Ensemble.. i overslept and luckily Andy was so nice to mark me present even though i was late.. i find that class a bore anyway.. oops.. then that was all for the day since Philip isn't back from Vietnam yet so there is no Keyboard class.

Tuesday, went to watch the Pop concert which left a lasting ringing in my ears and i think there was 1 group i don't think they were outstanding.. but more off, this is whatever Lasalle has left to show us.. then Choir was canceled cos Adrian was down with fever (maybe he had a fever after marking through our melody writing).. so lucky me, i haven't prepared my research presentation materials yet.. and as usual my CW group wanted to rehearse with me without notice again.. and wanted me to make a trip back to school at 7pm.. -_- which i didn't in the end..

Wednesday, woke up super early just to meet my group for last rehearsal, to find out.. we got 1 absentee and 1 late.. the usual people... i just gave up and said.. the lesser the better, lesser work to do and lesser people to manage.. so i'm quite glad that my 2 group mates can work with me quite while on piano.. This time i do something more extreme, something more outstanding.. Darren said i finally got out of my box and doing something more new & creative (that was such a insulting comment.. because i can do all these just that i can't because i have to blend with group) thats all i'm handling for Semester 1.. haa.. i'll do Juxtaposition, Ying/Yang, Fire for Sem 2..
then we were suppose to have Group Ensemble, but somehow haha grin*... Michael was sick also.. hmm haha.. wanted to just walk off and go home but then were forced to stay to listen to a talk at the evening by the Theatre Arts students who are doing this project of Hell inspired by Dante's Inferno.. and i was asked to join their crew because i'm a unique player playing pipa.. i turned it down cos the production was to be ready by November.. if it was next year i don't mind.. but not this year especially around this few months..

Thursday, another day full of texts.. Aural in the morning, History in the Noon.. Learning and Research following which.. luckily i managed to complete my research essays on wednesday nite and print them all out this morning and i kinda like looking at my reports.. haa.. a lot of people never do and got penalised.. some never print cos still not done.. so lunchtime the library was filled with Music students rushing their essays.. apparently 1 guy was the funniest.. he rushed to print in the middle of class at the time where the printing room is closed.. haa... gotta prepare Thesis planning liao.. and gather all my sources and research materials.. and produce them when i get back to school... what a taxing class.. ha

Friday.. Yoga.. i brought my mat down.. and ahh it feels soo much nicer lying on it than the dirty floor.. then had Theory... Adrian is back.. haha.. we did Baroque period and our sem exam is on Baroque and Classical.. whee.. did Analysis again.. on Vocals.. haha.. Messiah - George Fredric Handel.. then Gamelan...

Saturday, woke up and went back to sleep.. parents left for Vietnam in the morning.. then went to theory, then went Bedok with xq for dinner.. ate Kuay Chap.. and i'll never eat Kuay Chap there again.. not nice and the portions are so small..

Sunday, Melissa went Brunei this morning, then had mainstudy.. not good... this week barely practiced because of the stupid research thingy... next lesson i'll make sure its good.. (= then went KLP with xq.. British India having sale.. woo.. i got 3 things i wanna buy, Coat, Shirt, Shirt... the best price slashing i saw was $299 to $29.. OMG!!!... haha.. the coat will cost me $104.. but its soo nice..
ok finally did my groceries today, which was just 2 packets of soya milk and 1 cereal.. i wanted the Post - Maple Pecan Crunch but theres only Blueberry.. sighh.. should have bought it while at Clementi.. cheaper somore.

Looking forward to tomorrow

Truth Unveiled?

2008-09-14T23:00:00.002+08:00

well silence has its pros and cons...

feeling far too much bothered by matters that they are stored in little bottles with a cork stopper. apparently the cabinet is FULL.. so guess i should pour some moody liquid out today..

continue off from last post..

oh missed out.. ANNE is BACK!!. woo.. haha.. so nice.. bought us snacks... haha.. GREEN TEA MARSHMELLOW is like SOOO nice... Mint Chocolate also.. so is the Milk Chocolate..

Wednesday.. Wow.. i'm amazed the performance turned out quite well.. not very good but was still rather manageable.. in fact we were commended? haha. had Group Ensemble following which and we did R&B in a Gospel Christiany way... somehow our genres always very Christian like... followed gang to Clark Quay to accompany them till they go off to watch Love Labor's Lost.. and i intended to go NAC but oh well.. crossed office hours.. so headed to SAM to find xueqi and gang.. found my favourite drink Appletiser at DOME cafe... thats going to be my chill out zone.. haha.. and today is the mark of the day... i get to play Gigs.. thanks to my dear ol fren Xueqi.. hah Love U..

Thursday... . .. . . .nothing interesting and wish not to furthur talk about it.. the schedule is the same but the mood is completely different.. whatever~ went home.. totally sick and dead.. fell asleep at 9..

Friday.... ok la no point harping... nothing interesting.. got home and just played games... didn't had any mood to do my Journals that i haven't started.. at this point I am basically distracting myself from mood swings by playing Word Challenge.. waited for call since wednesday but it never came.. bye bye $60.. i wished you were here..

Saturday... SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER NO MOOD AT ALL.. at this stage... i have entered massive bitchy.. but of cos i locked myself at home so that i don't kill anyone by my massive attitude. went to theory in the evening.. then headed home.. TIRED..

Today.. well..quite a day i suppose.. lesson was good.. or at least better.. (= accompany dear Xueqi today.. then do crazy things.. then went TPY ate Mos Burger then chill sat chat stress and etc etc etc and decided to go ATTEMPT to shop.. hah.. saw this person at Body Shop whom i didn't see earlier on our 1st visit.. and OMG that person is "gorgeous!!!" .. haha.. then me being so nice took 26 with her till Kallang.. haha

Moody Liquid:

Well Seriously... if you had such a lame reason for not wanting to talk/befriend me then fine so be it... i'm no longer someone who'll cry over it.. i maybe vulnerable but definitely NOT weak.. i mean well it probably goes to show how much anything matters that i've done.. seems like it was nothing to you.. so i was probably just stupid then.. i can't even find words for the stupidity i did.. but ok true enough i can't deny that that period i managed to pull through with help..

Another matter.. sigh.. i think maybe i tried pursuing company.. subconsciously am at least.. just came to realise i dunid to make myself stupid and be someone i'm not just to fit with the world.. true enough i don't deny.. i am a person of many lies and many masks.. knowing me is probably something difficult because theres just layers of lies that i cover myself with.. and you'll probably never realise i'm lying.. "Easy to get, difficult to Handle".. probably takes at least 1 year to clear past the lies to reach the stage of masks.. and probably 0.5 year to pass that to knowing who i am.. Individualism is a concept and a practice.. Ivan don't be weak.. or probably i should say WeiJie..

Seriously just (*&# i'm already picturing what the next 2 days will look like.. and really seriously.. i want to care? but i can't find myself caring anymore... once or twice i don't bother.. but EVERY TIME is something i will DEFINITELY NOT TOLERATE.. at the end of the day.. i'm switching to Arts Management and not Music.. i don't lose out.. and base on individual assesment.. i don't lose out neither... know this blardy well... i'm there to put a patch on all your loopholes and cracked areas... if u wan me to stand out of cos i can.... but if i don't play by falling sick on that day? i don't think we'll get a good assesment for that day.. or at least i believe so.. not that i'm being a boast but i find it rather true.. and everyone knows that.. i admit.. i am a lousy musician when it comes to making chord progressions... thats my disability.. i cannot figure that out...

argh whatever.. Ivan is just freaking bitchy these few days.. so if you don't feel comfortable then back off..

Bitching off..

OMG HECTIC!!!!!!!

2008-09-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

it is freaking Running...

Monday.. Oh my holy crap... was running around the whole day... we went to Ben's place in e morning to surprise with HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!!... apparently we were to early... haa.. then after that i rushed down to school for rhythm ensemble.. which i was almost late for.. phew!. ok its boring or at least i find it.. its more on memory work.. and because i'm on the shaker.. all i do is.. 1234123412341234 yea.. then rot rot rot till Keyboard class that was suppose to last till 6? but i left halfway cos well.. i find myself in a very awkward position that i'm being OSTRACIZED as being good when i'm NOT... i go into class having 0 knowledge of what the CRAP he is talking.. so i rushed down to Sam's place for surprise of the day Number 2.. well wasn't as good as we had initially planned but oh well.. then we went for dinner and Ice-Cream.. and then headed for home..

Tuesday... our first lunch-time performance class.. basically just watching performances.. it was also a joint event to wish Mona Farewell as she leaves LASALLE.. the Theme was Classical.. was ok at first till it just drained my focus and i was like busy of thinking of like stuffs.. then Choir followed after, had a new song which is a-tonal.. generally just speaking, "Valse".. fun very... in a way i love choir a lot.. getting to sing.. something i like to do..

Wednesday CONVOCATION DAY.. but not for me.. because our lecturer is external thus class resumes.. not that we stayed very long.. after we were left alone to deal with our own devices we just left early.. since ATTENDANCE was NOT going to be marked.

Thursday was like OMG... droning.. generally thursday is the most academic day? it starts off with Aural class.. very fun.. and History.. interesting but generally tiring.. and i become the Archive to look for because all i do is stare at the screen in front and type away thus i'm never to slow to get down everything that is in front.. pretty amazed by how much i remember the keyboard that my fingers already memorized the movements to write words without looking at it.. its like a rhythm to it.. following which was Research and Critical writing.. was so much soother because the Librarian/Resourcer came to visit us and gave us a talk.. and gave us LOTS and Lots of information.. i love her.. she gave me lots of places to get journals on Arts Management.. that will help me a lot!!.. love u Malar

Friday, Yoga, seriously it injures me more than it helps.. of cos i managed to find myself being able to talk after the session after seemingly losing my voice in the morning... then had the MOST DRAMATIC THEORY CLASS EVA!!.. poor mel.. blacked out in class.. trust me the ambience there was like.. Oh My GOD!!... it was like EMERGENCY CODE RED!!! MOVE MOVE MOVE SCRAMBLE!!! it was double the shock when we heard the ambulance.. wish u good health yea mel? Afterwhich, theory was cancelled cos Adrain didn't feel like teaching anymore after that serie of event. Gamelan really just makes me sleep..

Saturday.. Oh god a Break day... took my time to rejuvinate myself before going to Theory. after Theory got home ate and fell asleep.. i'm dead tired..

Sunday had lesson which i myself find it better but not good enough.. i expected more from myself.. because i know what the concept is.. i know what i need to produce but i'm just not producing.. WHICH SERIOUSLY IRRITATES ME.. then i rushed to Sengkang to join Bryan for some Volunteer work for Yoga, "Karma".. Old Folks home.. i swear when i was at the gates.. i smelt the strong essence of Death..

Yesterday OMG... i swear to Heaven and Hell i want to kill my team mates.. "Where's your pipa? Why didn't you bring your pipa?" Its like HELLO!!?!?!?~~ why the $^*@ should i bring my pipa on a random day without notice.. and of the cos for $^%#'s sake i'm not going to rehearse with you.. so after rhythm ensemble i just went home..

Today was REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES ALREADY... i went for the stupid rehearsal at 11am.. knowing that i'll probably be scammed again? i arrived at 11.40am to find only 2 people out of 4 present.. THANKS i feel so glad working with you guys.. and trust me.. the works made are like so predictable.. i took out my pipa and i started playing with them without even needing them to tell me their concept or idea behind this whole serie.. i know i shouldn't be like such a bitchy bitch with my classmates but seriosly.. its already freaking week 6... went for Lunch-time performance again today was Jazz.. then choir was the same.. but this time we had another group to work with to do a research.. my group was the Nazi-Movement.. and well someone took leadership.. someone i hope didn't.. and was bitching his way around.. of cos his retardedness and vision impairedness failed to realise NOBODY wants to follow HIS WAY.. "May i have ur attn please?" ignores and continue chatting* .. seems like everyone knows my attitude... its like ST looked at me and laughed cos i just rolled my eyes away hearing what the dear self-proclaimed leader/editor/collator has to say.. i was like.. I don't trust U to edit my work.. NO WAY.. then our beloved drummer came after choir.. and i was ASKED TO STAY BACK JUST FOR HIM?!?!?!? HELL NO WAY.. i walked off and went home..

PERSONAL SPACE:

I'M FREAKING SICK AND STRESSED AT E MOMENT.. I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING &#^$ down the road.. and wish i could murder people.. At the end of the day.. all i can say is.. IVAN... Watch yourself and don't let your attitude/character get out of hand..

Sometimes i dunno what to believe.. everything can be there just there for now.. few days down the road.. everything changed.. its no longer the same.. as much as i like things to be kept the way i liked it.. i also must accept the fact.. i'm not God.. things change and hopefully they change for the better.. Its ok.. Ivan will be fine... getting used to it.. Trust in time like i say.. trust in time..

i'm now just going to friggin pop panadols into my blackhole and hope miracle happens overnite.. or at least.. if not then just KILL ME bad enough that i can't get off bed..

Your Artsy Partsy Writer
Ivan/WeiJie.

Utterly Random

2008-08-31T23:41:00.005+08:00

gosh ok its been about a week.

well.. quite a lot happened.. that i don't think i can remember all.. well Gamelan last friday was the usual Zzz... and it was pouring so i got drenched.. Theory class was on analysis on this German songs for vocal... i think its quite nice.. haha.. wonder if i can find em online..haha

weekends just as tiring as usual. met bryan, mel, rx, sean for dinner on Sunday.. went to Japanese Village(or wadeva u call it becos of its 99c sushi!!! -_-), well didn't eat anything there. then went off with bryan to collect his stuff in hope that the stall was still open.. found out it was a pushcart and it was closed already... so went to watch him play his favourite game PARA PARA... scored 4th in the whole system.. wow claps*... rare that i see guys dancing to the machine.. then we went to Xin Wang to eat Mango Ice... and of cos it is loved.. haha.. BEST DESSERT... haa.. didn't feel like going home then.. so nice of him to accompany me.. haha.. well supposedly went to his house to "play" didn't do much anyways.. just sat and rot infront of MSN.. then stayed too long bus services all died.. i stayed over at his place.. woke up next morning quite zombified since i barely slept.. spent most of the night/morning smsing away till i somehow thawed and the temperature change made me fall asleep.. then went to bugis with him.. and he went to school for mainstudy i went home to rearrange myself..

Monday already.. and FINALLY we had Rhythm Ensemble.. its rather like Brazillian, erm.. fun i wouldn't say it is.. i feel rather pathetic playing whatever i'm playing.. maybe because i'm not a very percussive or energetic/outgoing person.. then had Keyboard class with Philip again.. so hard la.. I WANNA TRANSER BACK TO ADRAIN!!!!!....

Tuesday was like wow... cos supposedly we gonna rehearse on Monday for Space but we didn't!! so good right? and creative workshop was postponed to wednesday but since we have Theatre to watch on Wednesday it was cancelled. and the following week also no class cos of something.. so posted 2 weeks later.. YES dunid to care about my group.. so went to school for Choir only.. so LAME.. haha but ok la.. then went to Dhoby Gauht with Anne,Edmund & Mel and """shopped""" well thats where i bought the pathetic earrings.. and Experimented with it..
well yea.. now u see it.. of cos i took it off after wearing it to Group Ensemble and Theatre on Wednesday... CANNOT BE WORN LONG TERM.. cos it FREAKING HURTS!!!...

Thursday, What another day.. well i spent $10 on useless books.. I'M SORRY WALLET... and well class is rather fun since we use laptop to type history notes and on the side using internet in class surfing websites and stuff.. hahaha Felix's class was boring as usual. i still haven't done any of the Journals or even begun starting on my Essay.. i should START working and not being so lax huh~.. then Edmund,Kaiyin,Mel crashed at my place in e evening before we went to Prince of Wales to watch our DEAR FRIENDS perform... but truthfully.. i found my Sangria more interesting than the performance infront.. =P oh yea.. i went back to ACS(BarkerRoad) too, to collect my Graduation Stuffs by MOE.. i swear.. i thought maybe i have a little patriotism for the school but seeing the B!TCH that lived in the English Department? i think i'll never go back anymore.. besides most of my teachers i know all LEFT SCHOOL already.. can guess why.. we all have similar thinkings about the students there.. they all should be hanged on the flag pole.. (=
took some pictures with Mel's macbook.. heres a sample.. i look like those rare species of primapes..
Friday.... Yoga... -_- no comment the stupid back stretching part 2ndpose seriously JUST INJURES ME MORE THAN IT CALMS OR STRETCHES ME... then break till Theory.. SO HARD!!... melody writing.. haven't start also =P then gamelan then home.. i just fell asleep after dinner.. gamelan just tires me out. the sound the music the effect... just so... echoey..

Saturday.. OMG la... went back to sam for lesson.. T.T i deprove so much.. A LOT A LOT A LOT.. ok i shall work on it.. ok so i'm TOTALLY TIRED OUT by now.. and then rushed down to Eunos for theory with ben.. then by the time class ended.. i was said to be haggard.. arghh. do i really look that haggard these days? since i get this question popping like, "are you ok? you look dead/haggard/destroyed/broken."

Sunday a.k.a Today.. OMG! orchestra.. i'm the ONLY PERSON THERE FOR PLUCKED STRINGS B4 LUNCH!!!!! WTH!!!... so stress.. but ok was saved after lunch... then went to dhoby gauht for dinner at Carls Jr.. drank a lot.. and I'M NOT GOING TO EAT SUPERSTAR EVER AGAIN.. its tiring eating my way through.. haha.. now theres a superstar in me and its singing a rock concert with the french fries and onion rings..

TOMORROW IS TEACHERS' DAY.. WISH ALL THE TEACHERS HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY AND WISH THEM MANY JOYFUL DAYS TEACHING IN THE DAYS TO COME..

personal space:
sigh.. dunno whats up lately.. everything so sour again.. i hate this feeling.. its bad for the soul... but i can't help it somehow.. its just there infront of my eyes.. that image.. that picture.. argh!!!.. would it be envy or jealousy.. looking at things from so many perspectives.. i should try to make time my best friend. maybe then as time passes things might look better.. "self denial"... argh.. i dunno.. probably got something to do with me being an Earth Element and a Taurus and my planet is Venus.. lack of Gurantees leading to insecurities.. argh..

must i really open out myself? i don't feel like taking the initiative anymore.. its just disastrous each time it happens.. if that person knows then things will be easier? i don't think so.. i don't know.. i don't even know what to believe or trust.. everything is still very much broken from the past few years.. collectively from broken to shattered and now powdered.. nothing much left..

ARGH what should be done?!!!!!!

SIGNING OFF

2008-08-21T23:43:00.002+08:00

strange things have been happening.. must be because of the cheesy moon..

a failure to understand what is it that rumbles in my mind every moment every day.. every waking moment and even in my dreams.. it all seems so decided yet so blurry and having no ground decision... I feel like it is, yet it might not be.. If it isn't you, then its another..

ok i can understand why its this feeling but.. i don't know.. i shall leave it alone.. things better left to flow on their own.. to abruptly cut the current will result in a not so nice scenario.. if you took the initiative 1st.. then things will probably develop.. oh well.. there is still 1 year or less depending..

Back to something more GROUNDED..

School is fun fun fun.. and rather emo.. haha.. i hate my CW group thats for sure.. so much to an extent that i appear 10mins late and if not everyone is present i'll leave in 5mins.. Choir followed by Choir-ing the Crossing the Rainbow Bridge, followed by Aural lesson.. my voice is a bit tired already.. haha

Gratz to Mel for scoring for O Levels (=

OMG meeting mel tomorrow at the back of e market at 8.30am.. O_o.. i wanna have my McDonald Breakfast.. haa.. and i still need to decide what to wear tomorrow..i think i already did.. haa

Tomorrow.. wonder what kind of day will it be.. still illuminated by the Cheesy Moon?..

Dreams dreams dreams.. what a world is out there in my mind when the physical is silent and quiet..

Random Random Rather Random..

2008-08-17T21:53:00.002+08:00

Watched Fire last nite.. quite interesting.. at least i had something to write about for my assignment.... yesterday was killed.. suppose to have lesson but had to cancel it. sigh.. December is coming.. watching the concert yesterday sorta made me feel like performing is just such a big thing.. dunno la. its 乱!!! 乱乱乱乱乱乱乱!!... I somehow 期待 exams coming.. sadistic right? only in Week 3 and already 期待 exams.. because Main Study exam is performing.. haha.. sadistic!!..

古道随想 is like so nice... but haha can see its not very easy also.. 火 was rather interesting with its Indian and Chinese mix. at least far better than what i see from my group from last week's assignment for Creative Workshop or "Sparse" where they made Indian music.. and using the Pipa to lead the singer, who I say has rather scary vocals, I don't mean the good scary.. haha.. oh well I learnt not to care too much about the group.. I'll just do my job and get it over and done with, since I don't have any problems making up melodies and harmonies and counter melodies on the spot to match with them. everything they produce are quite simple.. I'll probably take over on Week 7 for Aggression (= ... I strongly believe thats my forte at the moment.. laughs* really got a lot of it now especially when I got to meet the group or come close to any of the members.. got a lot of concepts and ideas already.. I'm READY!..

this was taken after the concert at Xing Wang HK Cafe.. i think this is one of the best sights of me.. and my hair doesn't look red at all.. more like gold..

today went for Orchestra... today i was like completely not stable at all.. my rhythms and counting all wrong... haha.. usually I'm okay.. just today.. hah.. very tipsy.. probably because I never went for rehearsal last week and i've been influenced by the Free Play in Creative workshop where there is no exact rhythm or timing or beat..

Tomorrow school starting later for Rhythm.. playing percussion instruments.. and then having a meeting in between the break before Keyboard skills.. so irritating.. means I can't go and chill with friends.. unless they all having their own group meeting also then nothing to say.. I'll probably be in school early to practice again.. so you can come find me a Block G Level 3 one of the practice rooms (=

2008-08-14T21:23:00.002+08:00

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

I swear i'm mad.. haha.. went to McDonald's with Edmund.. and i didn't actually plan to buy a meal.. but when i saw the Archery Olympics Glass Cup i was like OMG!! i waaant!!.. so i ordered a meal.. and almost died eating it.. haha too many fries.. so full got home still got dinner.. so had to force eat..

Had History today.. 1st time i'm using laptop for School in School.. haha.. laptop didn't survive through History.. it died b4 class ended by 5mins.. which means i lack 5 minutes of notes.. sad.. ha.. Middle Ages.. Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome and etc etc.. tsk tsk.. Bryan you call her a Hippo wearing White Shirt.. haha..

the Curse of the Broken shoes.. haha Mel had hers last week.. and Bryan got his today.. slippers went snap.. poor guy.. Red Ruby lover sia.. haha.. although i have 0 idea what it tastes like anyway.. haha.. wish you early recovery and better comfort with that piercing of yours.. so eerie la!... better don't pierce your tongue..

Had Aural today also.. haha.. am i really that not local? learnt Major 2nd and Major 6th and 7th... now we know how to sing them.. or at least we know methods but actual practical.. err.. haha..

Felix's class was soo booring.. spent like quite some time discussing about a nude art picture.. that was drawn by a Thai guy.. portraying some sort of Cubism art.. then talk about deductive and inductive comments.. like "If the moon was made of green cheese, Mice love cheese, Thus there are mice on the moon." O_o hahaha

tomorrow is Theory test... so not ready.. and Gamelan.. siigh.. and yoga which means very oversize bag..

Disorientating... confusion in thoughts.. what am i really thinking? could it be?

2008-08-12T21:38:00.002+08:00

back from Performing

my god.. it felt so good to get my feet out of those shoes.. i'm never wearing them for long term again.. ok anyway.. had choir today.. which was er.. booring.. haha.. it was all about ya... ya1 ya2 ya3 ya4 ya5 ya6 ya7 ya1... then had creative workshop.. performed... yay.. glad i was appreciated by audience.. haha. though i was really heck care already.. since we only rehearsed once.. on friday for like 10mins or so... thanks bryan for the hug/pat (1st time being hugged).. ha.. so crazy la.. everything so slack.. and because i already don't care.. then the idiot with a stench of cigarettes say i'm a role model of relax and take it easy no stress guy.. -_- .. ah well... at least the 2 were scolded for not being serious during performance also... they were laughing which made me feel like wth... here i am.. though i don't care.. but i still put effort in it.. and there they are with don't care and no effort.. -_-... i think it was rather obvious.. that the drums and electric guitar played almost nothing in that whole song..

heard a lot of other works.. think they were rather nice.. except for 1 that had a small jazz piano solo in the middle.. which killed the flavor.. was like eating mango ice-cream then suddenly chocolate comes out instead.. then suddenly back to mango.. hah.. we all got the same idea.. to petit for a group change next semester so we can work with more people.. i agree!!.. haha (escaping my current group =P)

lol.. i have been reminded of my craze of Phantom of e Opera... esp Music of the Night.. woo.. haha... Think of me also very nice.. the rest.. er... =P

Sarcasm is such a lame thing in class.. ha.. stupid AP.. haha.. ask Edmund what instrument in CO he played.. and AP tried to link it to me somehow.. apparently fail.. haha at least he didn't know i used to play cello.. hahah

tomorrow is Michael Corbidge's class again.. woo.. hope its Fun.. and doing something fun... not all games again (= .. i enthu over the play.. =P i don't mind doing part time theatre..!!! hahaha

a combust feeling of mixture of everything and anything.. a reaction..

2008-08-10T17:52:00.000+08:00

SATURDAY

oh my... school is tiring.. everyday after school the only possibly thing that can be on your mind is sleep.. considering the amount of journals and diaries and essays that need to be done. then still gotta juggle main study practicing in along with it.. rather packed already.. gotta study for my Theory test on Terms and Signs.. and must do VERY WELL since i'm blacklisted.

haha school though tiring but still really horribly hilarious.. Yoga was like superb.. haha.. someone was sleeping and Snoring >.> hah.. ok we're a crazy group.. haa.. "bring your attention to your eyebrows" and i suddenly thought of felix.. hahha...!!!... "focus on your hair" totally reminded me of poor Edmund with his 30mins or so worth of hairdo trying not to squish his precious.. HAHA!!.. the description of Yogic diet was just as funny.. be mindful of what you eat. haha. thats just really funny.. so is it like you think of the Chicken your eating then you eat it.. then while eating you still think of how the chicken feels and its texture and what it is like after its chewed.. etc etc etc etc... Hahaha..

just had main study and theory... and i fell asleep during theory.. for a while at least.. was thinking of Compound Intervals and then felt that blinking should be slower.. and next thing i know my mind was drifting off really very very fast.. so forced myself awake by using 1 hand to keep my eye open.. so i still have like some semi-conscious or something hah..

which reminds me.. i think i'm going to bring my laptop down to school for Soumya's history liao.. cannot imagine myself cramming over the pen just to scribble everything she says and shows.. since i have bad technique with pen holding.. hah.. coming thursday gonna touch on Early Greek Civilization's Music.. and we had already done the topic on the Theatre of Greek Civilization.. its mainly about Tragedies.. and Tragedies are found everywhere during Spring.. haha.. Dionysus fest, the event where people watch plays and lots of em.. Tragedies and Satyr.. Those who worship Dionysus can be pretty scary... haha..

Sunday

went for family lunch at East Coast Park.. Ju Shin Jung.. Korean Restaurant.. omg.. it was rather nice.. other than it was really really really expensive for just 2 seafood pancake and 1 beef and 1 chicken and free flow of side dishes...$130!!!. OMG!!.. by the time got back home just as sleepy as i was b4 i left home though sleeping for like 12hours.. gotta start reading about critical writing so i can start with work...

"ignorance only lasts that long" - Book of Unknowns

2008-08-06T21:12:00.002+08:00

ok i know i haven't been blogging or at least updating..

well so far school has been up and down.. but i really love the ups.. met more friends.. like Bryan Edmund and gang.. erm.. Cai Yin and Xue Hui if i'm right.. haha

creative workshop.. i don't want to comment already... i'll do what i can do.. and do my best. the rest i really don't want to think.. i'll just you know get my act together and if required bitch my way to get it together for the next 40weeks or so.. Thanks Mel and Edmund and Anne and Xueqi for e support.. so lame la.. tell me 10.30 meet at practice room.. i was there since 9.. practicing my own stuffs.. 10.30 nobody called nobody appeared.. i got a text say delay to 11.. 11am nobody called nobody appeared.. 11.30 i went to visit Hanh next door still nobody came nobody called. until almost 12 then i received call that they were in the room 2 rooms down.. but 2 guys were missing (why did i so didn't see this coming -_-) ... so all i did was improvise on the spot.. and did a solo.. although i really have no clue how does this relate to "Scarse" its like celtic/indian music.. thats all i can say.. don't know but they are very happy with my parts cos they don't have to tell me what to do.. i just blend in quite easily..

haha all of us Starved through Michael Corbidge's class. 12-5+... everyone so eager to go eat/drink liao.. haha.. then learnt some performing exercises.. haha should practice some of them.. help loosen myself up especially my shoulders.. they're like forever tense.. yes and i'm the special one in the whole class.. i play chinese instrument.. yay clap clap.. haha.. they should put some spotlight on the Opera Vocals/Vocal Lyrics also haha SABO!!!

tomorrow Aural with Belinda at 9am.. woo.. hope got proper class.. i'm quite you know interested to do well.. haa.. Friday is Yoga.. omg.. dunno whether i looking forward to it or what.. haha.. well i'm really looking forward to the Play.. and the 1500 word Essay and the 4 production reviews i gotta do.. and the daily log/diary thing i gotta write for this whole thing.. OMG.. its like soo cool.. i love Corbidge's class... so much more exciting than Darren Moores.. that one just made me depressive..

anyways yea.. thinking should i bring pipa down tomorrow to prac during that 3 hour break.. or just go out and chill and makan with frens.. haha

2008-08-03T23:11:00.002+08:00

RATED M17... I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT YOU WANT TO READ BUT JUST A WARNING!! EXPLICIT WORDS CAN BE SEEN OR EXPRESSED IN THIS POST.. READERS WHO WILL EXPERIENCE DISORIENTATION ARE ASKED TO KINDLY VISIT AGAIN ANOTHER TIME WHEN THERE IS A NEW POST..

no comment.. feeling rather much ... down lately.. probably because of the chain of events since that day..

was on the bus earlier.. went through Geylang.. felt so.. in a way disturbed and unclean.. then a question came to me.. is a penal desire that strong to drive people to such extents? i just... nevermind... i can't comment much on this.. like they say 男人都不是好东西.. excluding myself and some others.. (=

plugged in to the iPod and guess i shouldn't have but i needed to cut myself away from my environment.. the worst part was i was tearing on the bus.. i cannot explain why but i just did.. ok i was thinking of someone.. and i have been since that day.. it just made me feel rather sad to know that 2 people who understood the pain they experienced before got together and the final result they created another pain for themselves.. i become filled with regret.. a strong sense of regret. made me remember everything that happened.. all the promises we made.. and all the things i should have done.. I should have went for the TJ recital.. i should have went to find that person.. i should have shown better support.. i should have considered the feelings then.. i should have cared a little bit more.. i shouldn't have said those things.. i shouldn't have left that silence.. i shouldn't have let that person feel that way because i said those things.. i should have apologized and tried to patch things together.. i shouldn't have been so petty over it.. i should have remembered my promise... i shouldn't have let my anger and rash behavior take over the situation.. now i regret everything that has happened.. and i can't change it.. maybe if i diligently attend the Annual Concert every May.. sooner or later i might see you again.. even if i have said all that.. i still have a fear to see you again. i don't want to feel that same feeling of pain again..

AFTER ALL THAT... i just made a simple reminder to myself.. i make my life and not whatever that makes up my life make me.. just a failure to understand why i feel like this.. your pain i've felt.. and yes... it is like poison..

siiigh make things top of that.. WHY AM I AFFECTED!!!.... nvm.. i guess this should be rather natural... so shall ignore that..

arghhh!!... so many things happening today.. irritation, regret, depression?, sad, affected, happy, quiet.. etc etc etc...

shall just constantly remind myself.. whatever it is.. this must end today and tomorrow shall be start fresh.. Tomorrow 10am H302...

anyway.. to take things lighter.. went to Paya Lebar after HsingHai.. met chunmei with xueqi.. and i bought a lot of McDonald deserts.. haha. McFlurry and Hot Fudge Sundae.. then while the girls went to the Ladies... i took a spin around THIS FASHION.. and cool.. i found some shirts i saw at Bugis Village that i wanted to buy but doubt it.. cos it was like $10-$15 each.. BUT i found today at THIS FASHION and its only $6-$8 with a 20% discount along with it.. totally WTF!!.. i bought the PUMA parody shirt.. TUNA.. hahaha.. $5.. saw COMA.. but well didn't want to look like Jeremy.. haha.. after all we were somehow coincidently wearing similar tones/colors of sets of cloths especially to GECO.. school is starting tomorrow.. wondering what to wear.. haven't bought my new pair of shoes yet.. gotta go back to West Mall to find em.. and rather insecure of time tomorrow.. since i have no timetable..

the most ironic part (=

those who are sad.. lets not be sad and cheer up.. tomorrow will be better

those who are irritated.. cool down and you'll see the world gets lighter..

those who are happy.. good for you... keep it up..

those who are emo.. don't consider slashing..

those who are depressed.. look at things from another angle.. it might feel easier..

those who are angry.. all things happen for a reason.. look at it in a better light it'll help..

those who are tired.. go sleep.. and i mean NOW..

those who are sick... Wish you get well soon.. positive energy kills viruses.. >.<

those who are 失恋.. don't think too much.. just keep moving.. you'll discover why

ok i'm now dead tired.. i need a good rest.. if you're reading this at this Unearthly hour it has been posted.. 12.17am.. GO TO SLEEP.. because i believe you're Tired..

sleep Zzz

2008-07-31T23:14:00.002+08:00

school was supposedly BORING...

god. registration was the sadest thing ever la.. everyone had their envelopes with their Student Portal login BUT i don't have cos mine isn't ready? WTF!!!! then well have goodie bag.. which was donated by Art Friend.. and it was a really small bag.. ok la they cram quite a lot of stuffs inside..

went for the student's briefing? i almost fell asleep cos the chairs were like stiff and everyone was packed inside and close together... barely any living space.. which makes me feel very very uncomfortable.. President was funny.. the DAA representative was like Zzz.. Booooring.. DSS not so bad.. Counseling was hilarious.. then had a cheapskate tour around the school.. then had ""lunch"" in school..they ordered catering and they got their student volunteers to carry silver platters and walk around school serving us >.<

then they even had Milo Truck haha.. then there was a DJ system on the Lucid Fields (Swiss Artists' work) so whole thing was rather cool.. i like the Lucid Fields..sadly i think its going to be torn down soon for a new art.. sad.. should have taken a few pictures of it..

well had introduction to faculty which is Music.. took a more in depth tour of our Music Blocks.. basically our important blocks are G E C.. G for Studios. E for Admin. C for Practice Rooms.. The practice rooms are really really cool.. if i can.. i think i might want to book my 2 hours there everyday.. feel better there than at home practicing.. haha.. and theres a Grand Piano there too and its Air Conditioned.. ok basically the whole building is just really really nice.. though navigating around might get difficult but i'll get used to it if i live in it long enough.. after all only a few places i'll be.. haha library or practice room or classroom.

so we had our first assignment today.. create a music or at least make a form of music with your imagination.. contemporary.. you're given a word.. and you express it in a group.. there was Serenity/Gravity/Friction/Space/Lethargy and my group got Lethargy.. i was really very very tired in that practice room.. 1st i was the guy playing the piano.. everyone thought it was great other than well i didn't want to go on cos i can't notate what i play.. it just comes to me and i play.. so i got this other Singaporean Chinese to play the piano instead since he is in Classical Piano (surely better than me >.<).. ok thank god he was Singaporean and Chinese.. we understood each other rather well.. he understand the music i'm trying to drive at.. how i'm trying to portray this Lethargy.. whereas perhaps the 2 Indonesian girls don't really understand and they stone and whine a lot? the Burmese girl i say i applaud her effort (= ... she knows her voice don't sound very nice but she tried really hard to make nice vocals.. which turned out not bad.. haha.. clap clap.. then we had a addition of a Singaporean Malay, for Popular Piano.. haha.. we were quite a mixed bunch but generally our common is Classical.. i'm Classical Pipa.. which sounds really weird but haha..

What was our comments we received? it was overly dramatic which is rather good.. haha.. thanks to me.. haha just kidding its a collective work effort.. thanks to the help of our seniors also.. haha.. if i remember their names were, Iris, somebody and somebody.. >.<

Guess what... I got to do YOGA... musicians get together doing Yoga.. hmm.. haha.. Lecturers are invited to join us (=

Library was very cool.. i tell you the technology there is like LOVE.. everything is run by Macintosh.. so everywhere you'll just see a MacBook or MacBook Pro or iMac or basically Apple Computers.. well i'm a rather Macintosh pig already though haha.. i use Apple Live Messenger, my web browser is Safari, and i have the iPhone. i want a MacBook.. its like on offer at campus? but it ain't really that cheap.. i was thinking maybe i get a part time job while studying? then collect that money and buy it next year when they have orientation for the new students >.<>

ah yes.. i got this Lasalle Tee also.. its rather nice.. haha just something of that design i've been looking for.. maybe not a very nice color but i still like it.. hah.. madness!!.. After class took a lift down and had a walk then this girl came up to me to talk to me.. haha then she asked me if i know Mr.Teo.. i was like ?? chinese name? she say don't have.. its Mr Shane Thio.. i was like ohhhh.. haha.. omg la..she is Shane Thio's student.. so cool.. and she is playing Classical Piano also.. err.. duh~.. haha

now for the bad crap that happened. I didn't realize my LIBRARY BOOKS WERE DUE YESTERDAY!!... i thought was today.. then after school can go drop in.. but they were yesterday.. NLB PLEASE DON'T FINE ME A PENALTY!!...

Right.. Monday start school liao.. and i don't have my timetable.. this sucks.. !! i hate you ITC!!... i have a Personal Vendetta against you.. or is it DAA.. surely not DSS they so nice to me >.<>

Anyways yea.. never mentioned.. yesterday while i was at High Street i saw a group of this Green.. sigh.. its a lasting irritation that i get affected seeing it.. -_- .. then have to keep reminding myself its nobody's fault.. everything just happened for a better future.. if everything was meant to be then it will patch up somehow..

anyway back to Lasalle.. haha argh!!.. wanted to get the guy i worked with his HP number so you know can meet b4 going for class on Monday.. but aiya.. nvm.. i can do this myself.. 10am H302.. at least i tried being sociable today ok.. and very not anti-social.. other than i don't talk unless you talk to me.. haha.. >.> well my class is generally populated with international students.. so.. ha good luck to me.. so sad.. no Westerners.. all in Theatre. DAMNIT.. i should have went for Theatre Foundation.. >.<

my oh my.. i'm actually getting excited to commence studying.. haha.. wait till real work comes.. i'd probably be here complaining how stressed and tired i am.. =P.. exams in november.. sian.. nvm.. i just need to plan and plot my days properly (=

there was something in that space.. but guess i'll never have the guts to post it.. anyway.. yes i'm very tired now..

signing out!

2008-07-31T00:01:00.003+08:00

OHIO GOZAIMASU!!

haha.. ok wow.. up and refreshing.. guess what having Orientation later.. then i think i'll get to see my classmates.. VERY INTERESTING... although i got this like premonition i'm going to be like a pariah again.. exiled.. T.T but i will try my best to fit in.. somehow..

anyway.. headed down to NAC earlier.. to submit my application.. omg la so malu.. hand her the whole set liao.. then i asked to borrow a pen so i can make an edit i forgot about.. the song composer.. >.> ... MALU!!!... saw some applicants there also.. geez.. its soo troublesome to get to NAC.. gotta get a Visitor's Pass 1st before you enter the lifts.. -_-

Orientation promises FUN.. i hope it is.. or i'll be rather demoralized.. haha.. so i must prepare pencils, markers, color pencils (which i never have and never will).. haha.. i think the only thing that still will interest me is meeting my classmates and.... i dunno.. SHIT now that i'm here.. WHAT TO WEAR TOMORROW!!!..

anyway some pics for update
THE SINGAPORE FLYER.. looks pretty from this angle
The rare occasions you find me leaving the house after 8pm

2008-07-29T23:53:00.000+08:00

updates updates updates..

Well.. theory retest was better but still screwy.. sigh.. i was aiming for something so high.. haha.. ok fine.. no harm done.. just a test..

Sunday was like killer tiring.. spent whole buying goods for my dad.. which requires a lot of travelling... so spent a lot of time on the road..which led to super lethargicness(isn't an english word) then well.. think think think.. did a lot of life thinking.. haha.. then well yes.. so more changes have been brought about.. met the 2 sisters at Singpost.. then well in a way crapped with them haha.. went to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf for my coffee.. was really like Zzzz... i had almost close to bloodshot eyes.. "haha mangekyo sharingan"...

Monday... well.. really was rather boring.. spent most of the day doing house chores.. -_-... and for some apparent reason my mood was foul like hell.. snappy and very very lightning tempered.. all i felt was annoyance, irritation, and FLAME!!.. sigh.. sometimes to be too direct people don't want to hear it.. -_-... well all i can say is.. whether is it now? or later? its still going to happen one day.. why? cos i know best why.. and when i know best why? its definitely going to happen.. so don't put yourself on the spot for me.. its not worth it.. so well.. i don't know.. maybe doing what i did last year was a wrong move i made.. i should have let it end there.. anyway... thanks xq for talking some sense to me yesterday..haha.. released a large fraction of that tension i had.. it was all just FLAME!!.. haha

Tuesday... hectic.. woke up quite early.. haha was BUZZED AWAKE.. for some reason.. my phone keeps ringing.. i had like 8 messages... i was like ARGH!!!.. quit ringing.. then ate breakfast and rushed down to SP.. then met xq and went Sam's house to settle admin stuffs.. haha.. finally school is gonna start on Monday.. i'll be rather amused.. then well today is really another really really HOT day.. and just not too long ago i thought wow.. its Autumn early this year.. who knows.. the following days are just SCORCHING HOT SUMMER DAYS... sadly our winter is just rain.. rain rain rain.. haha..

considering a makeover.. sigh cut my hair.. sniff*.. ok i'm quite sick of it in a way.. but haha.. i never got to keep long hair before.. THANKS TO 10 YEARS OF ACS TRADITION.. and the traditional ways of life that is being emphasized at home.. probably thats what made me such a traditional person also.. O_o.. haha.. i still remember.. for Oral exam.. i was asked on like some question about Teens dating.. then i gave like the very political correct answer and very VERY traditional.. "teens should focus on their goals and dreams and studies 1st b4 settling into a relationship.. because relationships are unstable and one wrong move it could simply wave you off.. resulting in bad academics and etc etc etc.." then my teacher comment me very old fashion (all these was in chinese)... ironic haha.. i say all these but.. >.> haha.. back to main topic.. should i really cut my hair? i mean if i do what am i gonna make it like.. i don't want to look like my schooling days.. its a horror looking at the mirror..

hmm.. my brother will be leaving for Hong Kong for 2 years in like another 2 weeks or so.. don't know what to feel haha.. sad? not really.. barely a bond between us.. and besides.. he is never home also.. happy? sounds rather evil.. your own brother is leaving for 2 years and you're HAPPY?? omg.. see dilema.. if he is gone.. leaves me 1 xtra room to cram in.. haha.. i prefer his.. so much freaking bigger than mine!.. and the internet is there.. SMILE!.. haa hope he'll be a nice guy and mail money back to me.. (in my dreams.. haha)..

OH yes.. the most interesting topic.. when i turn 18 next year? I'm gonna make myself take driving!.. wheee.. haha.. since the family car won't be used anymore.. since the MAIN DRIVER is going to hong kong for 2 years.. haha i shall take ownership of the car.. BUT the petrol WILL NOT BE PAID BY ME!!!.. yaay.. can imagine myself driving.. actually can't.. since i have large amount of fear of roads and speed lately.. haha. i might be like those turtles at the side of the street.. moving at 20km/h.. haha.. SAFE AND NOT SORRY!!.. >.>

yes ok i've typed quite a lot.. for like the past half and hour.. O_o. haha kk signing off

NITES..

2008-07-26T13:27:00.002+08:00

right been some time since i last clicked publish post..

well.. the week went well.. maybe cos i got a new perception of taking things and etc etc.. went out quite a lot lately.. resulted in my low cash at e moment.. especially wednesday.. i spent like $30+ on music stuffs and travelling 1 eclipse (=

well the eclipse was suppose to be for the sugar but hey hey.. its Sugarfree.. haha.. other than it contains Sugar Alcohol which i have no idea what that is.. probably just some compound that makes it sweet mint but isn't exactly sugar.. well mint is mint..

Thursday was lesson... rather fun i suppose.. haha.. found new spirit, new aim, new focus.. now all that is all the Good Things.. haha.. well supposedly the day i 1st entered Holland Village also >.> .. haha.. got kinda lost then had to call my friend up and scream at e phone where am i.. due to bad communication and unknown directions.. i asked the bus driver and hey.. i asked just in time.. my stop is the next stop.. hahaha..

for like some time i always liked cars due to their exterior design.. like a Mazda RX-8... very very attracting design to me.. haha.. but on this day.. the interior is also a wow now.. haha.. OMG Jiwei's car sooo nice!!... haha..

Friday.. OMG let me warn all you unweary people who will be scammed by the MEDIA.. NEVER BELIEVE THE FOOD FESTIVALS!!.. anyway its ending.. the Taiwanese Eatery Lane was opened at Parco from 21st July till the 27th which is tomorrow... DO NOT BOTHER GOING!... why? simply because it SUCKS!.. it's like a grand scam.. RioRio the Sausage Stall ISN'T TAIWANESE and it can be found at the basement of Bugis Junction!!.. and there were lots more other stalls that were barely Taiwanese in fact they were all LOCAL!!... or at least found elsewhere on local grounds.. soo.. tried the yam ball desert which i had at JiuFen( 9 parts haha) in Taiwan.. damnit.. this one is like soo.. -_-.... shall not comment more.. anyway.. just to say.. if you're curious and thought maybe.. wow.. this is soo interesting? don't be scammed.. haha (i was T.T)

then my mum say she want to go back Taiwan again.. i'm like Yaaay!... haha.. why do i want to go there? i have no idea.. cos i like the environment perhaps.. but from what i'm guessing? i'll probably have to find a friend again.. lest i get very crappy rooms.. !!!.. no idea.. see how things goes.. (=

Arghhh.. later got Theory Re-Exam... and i failed the previous one.. (wondering how still.. so positive about all my answers) and i don't care... this time i'm getting at least merit!!!... i studied for it.. !!!!.. Accicatura etc etc etc...

till then.. (=

signed off..

2008-07-21T10:22:00.002+08:00

我对不起了我周围的每一个人。我也对不起了自己，为了一个很傻很傻的事。我出卖了友情我也出卖了自己。这几天几夜都很难收，生活在一片谎言。说了慌话就需要在讲多一个谎言来盖第一个谎言。

我不懂的珍惜，我多么想真心的向每个人抱歉。希望每个人都会原谅我。我真的觉得很遗憾。我只想真正的说“对不起”。我不想抛弃友情，这几天虽然什么都没说。但这是我真正的第一次感觉那种寂寞。虽然人是还在但感觉已经不一样。

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a weird event..

@:你在哭吗？

#: 有吗? 没有啊。。

@: 明明就是在哭吗，你看眼睛都红了，眼睛还掉着眼泪。发生了什么事?

#: 没事没事，可能最近天气一只下雨眼睛就像天一样的下点雨 (=

@: 你该不会是因为你失恋了吧?

#: 没恋爱过怎么会失恋?哈哈。想太多了吧你。
第一次是个误会，第二次是个意外，第三次是悲哀，我还会想去面对第四次吗?
反正我手上还有很多很重要的事情搞现。

@: 话也不能说到这样吗。。谁知?可能第四次是幸福?

#: 哈哈哈，那是笑话吧? 哈。。

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you know.. i think i've finally finally understand.. ok fine maybe i took rather long.. but i think i do now.. and well for me to really get this realisation.. haha ok don't know why but just rather happy it turned out this way.. that i think i finally realised.. unless i didn't.. hopefully not.. anyways.. haha shan't say now.. just incase its wrong.. but if i'm correct in it.. then there should be changes again.. 4 people to thank for helping out in this process for the past few days.. and thanks to Matt for like listening to everything i've said for like the past 2 weeks.. haha.. felt really good to say stuffs and make jokes of it and laugh it off. ok not they were all really that funny.. but ahh we know we know.. haha so whos left on the Bachelor's Party? haha since Rabbit can't exactly be considered in now.. haha..
--------------------------------------------------------------

anyway.. yes.. today is a rather good day.. at least productive.. did some real thinking.. instead of stoning... realised been foolishly living a life that was left not here not there since 2 years ago.. haha.. because of 1 person.. i ruined quite a lot during that 2 years huh.. my life, my studies, my hobbies.. all died because i was living everyday like a dead person.. well all that WILL change.. and well i'm also rather sick of the current me.. indecisive, goes round in circles, barely gets to the point, and living a life that i don't own..

hmm really.. things to change and things to work on.. with this as a mark of the Starting day.. "Let the Changing begin!" haha.. ok i know it won't be easy.. but its for the better.. and i'm gonna work on it..

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2008-07-20T20:30:00.002+08:00

hmm

so conclusion i probably got low blood sugar, and the rest are just bull answers.. so i must have a balance of sugar T.T but i don't like eating sweet stuffs since.. ah well.. you know you know.. that time.. after which Eclairs have been banned from my diet also.. maybe i'm being a little extreme with my eating over something like this.. its a disorder.. haha

crossed the zebra crossing.. haha Oh My.. please don't tell me i got trauma of crossing the Zebra Crossing.. haha.. its freaky.. to be crossing and the thing u see along the road is a car coming at you and he doesn't look like he is gonna slow down.. scaary.. well that almost happened on Friday nite.. 2 sports car just zoomed past.. i was like O.o i'm still alive.. phew*.. ha

went to Goldenmile plaza for dinner today.. had the same ol same ol.. ok maybe not so similar.. i had a cup of lime juice and a bowl of beef noodles which i barely touched... T.T bad appetite..

ok maybe i need help.. haha..

2008-07-20T12:41:00.002+08:00

WeiJie is horribly ill now.. appetite is worst than ever.. i've reduced to eating porridge or at least 1 spoon of it and i'm done.. but not to worry.. i'm sure i'll be fine after a few days..

anyways back to practice.. something i shouldn't neglect... 2 things to settle today.. memorising and familiarising for Dream..

see yall later..

2008-07-19T22:14:00.001+08:00

hmm went to Old Airport FC to eat dinner.. was deciding Bugis? City Hall? Kallang? Boon Keng is never open in the night.. then well the buses that come are those that say go Old Airport.. so i did.. cos 21 1st came.. i was like.. naa.. then it came again.. so i was like.. fiine.. i'll board it.. theni alighted.. then thinking eat at Kallang? (which i don't think is nice) or switch bus to somewhere else.. then the buses came in this order.. 31 33 31 32... so i was like fiine.. board 32.. since even if i take 11 and go KLP i also wouldn't know what i'm going to eat there.. haa

then i met seryang there for a moment haha.. and he recommended me the Thai food.. which i finally decided to have.. after like walking around the FC like 3 rounds?.. haha... had Pineapple Rice and Mango Salad.. (not realising its $4 each..) then waited and waited and mango salad came 1st.. 1st impression. WOW.. ok haven't eaten such a mango salad since that stall at Meridian closed down.. then waited and waited and waited.. omg its really rather long haha.. then the rice came.. well and there i see chicken.. i was like gosh.. noooo.. haha.. i think i became like an elderly there.. i took about 1hour++++ to finish eating.. haha.. argh!!.. bad appetite.. always like this.. at least i got a good starters which is mango salad.. and desert was mango salad.. cos i wasn't done with it.. haha.. $8 dinner.. well considering if i went somewhere else. i'll probably spend somewhere the same for something less fulfilling.. haha.. after i was done i went walking around the FC again looking for soy milk..haha.. Peak hours are the worst timing to try and locate items in the multitudes of stalls.. haha...

scary part..while eating.. i saw this tall squarish figure.. with that bronze tinted skin.. in that green that it slightly lighter than the green that i get from an Anion(or was it Cation or am i even spelling them right anymore? haha) test colored shirt.. and almost similar colored pants... and it was the moment i bit into the pineapple.. 1st reaction was OMG this shouldn't be real.. then when that person turned around.. i saw that "shonen" smile.. and that same hairdo.. but thankfully its not the person i thought it would be.. haha silly.. logic would tell me i won't see that person here.. haha.. West and East.. 2 extreme areas.. ha.. hahaa ok trauma... then i started fearing of eating the pineapple again.. haha.. it was really scaa-aary..

then i walked around and then i saw my uncle.. with someone else.. i was like hmmmm... never seen her before.. hmmm... oh well shall not bother.. wanted to say hi to him.. but from the looks of it he doesn't remember me.. T.T Nobody remembers me.... because my looks changed a lot since last year.. haha.. i'm white BUT NOT ON DRUGS!!!!

then well... the sad part came.. it rained.. so i was like... crap.. haaha oh heck.. took a walk around the neighbourhood.. if i remember correctly its called The Pine? walked 2 rounds and the rain never stopped.. so i went to NTUC and see if theres anything interesting to buy... turned out i bought nothing still haha.. then walked 1 more round inside that cluster of blocks.. haha then decided i shall just sit at some bench while waiting for the rain to die.. well.. the central area seems occupied.. so i kinda like walked all the way to the block opposite the carpark.. i believe its 49.. and found this wooden painted bench/chair whatever haha.. and sat there... plugged in my iPhone/Pod.. and just stoned there.. ok i took a few pics.. out of randomness.. then i got really tired.. and somehow i fell asleep!!!!!! the last thing i remembered hearing was 星期六深夜, 我想起了你.. and hahaha..from there i believed i fell asleep.. it was rather chilly.. then felt this warm feeling while thinking of something haa.. when i woke up.. i was like oh gosh.. i really slept.. was i robbed? haha.. well everything is still with me.. and guess the time? it was already 9+pm..

yaay the rain stopped.. so i stood up was feeling rather groggy since it was a rather abrupt way of waking up.. then made my way across the overhead bridge and 31 came just on time.. dragged myself home from the bus stop i alighted.. (although i almost fell asleep in the bus yet again).. ok.. so tonite was rather interesting.. i actually can fall asleep in public areas.. i've always thought how on Earth is it possible for people to sleep on the Public bus alone!.. u'll miss your stop or something.. and here i am.. having 1st hand experience sleeping at a void deck.. O_o thinking about it.. haha must be pretty unglam.. people might have been thinking i was like thrown out of the house or something? haha.. glad that at least i woke up 9+ and not 10+.. haha.. wonder what i'll say if someone like found me and ask me why am i here.. haha..>.> no comment.. i was just sheltering from rain ...

tiiredd.. sign off >.<

2008-07-19T15:46:00.003+08:00

Yesterday spent the day reading my book.. Due on 31st July.. i don't think i'll finish the 2nd book in time..

watched Nanyang Girls CO Concert.. haha interesting.. "Libertango"... went to search it up.. and i found Yo-Yo Ma's version.. and its really like wow.. i prefer this version =P.. funny part upon entering the hall.. saw this man carrying like 3 boxes from Pizza Hut ranging from large,regular and personal size.. haha.. that was like soo 夸张..

haha still rather tired from the 3 hours of sitting in that hall.. never sit for such a long concert b4 haha.. anyways Enjoy this.. (=

hmm i still think yo-yo ma sounds very very nice.. haha..

feeling sleepy.. maybe going back to sleep again =P

2008-07-17T23:58:00.000+08:00

oh god.. why everyone so much faith in me. haha now i'm scared to Fail.. haha..

Wednesday... can't remember how my day went exactly.. oh yes.. practice practice practice... but i guess it was called dead practice.. so i wasted it.. Crap..

Today.. went for lesson in the morning.. and yes its just called STIFF, will try to fix it asap.. after that? OMG.. next thursday having lesson.. with another teacher.. omg this time i'll really die.. no shouldn't say that.. i shall be prepared for it.. i WILL practice for it thus being prepared.. geez.. 1st training is to sit on a chair and not move and concentrate for 2hours.. discipline training.. ahhh... God save me..

now i regret having this thing called CRITICAL moment.. argh!!... but once its over in a good way.. i'm fine i hope.. i shall get this over with.. can't let it pull me too long right? haha... after all.. soo many (to me at least) people got faith in me. why should i not have faith in myself..

ok so i spent my remaining of the morning/noon at Bedok.. thinking.. Where do i want to go today to let my mind wander and do whatever it feels like doing haha.. was thinking of going to visit a school i haven't been for a long time.. but naa.. it'll feel weird.. then 2nd option was to go take a walk around clark quay or raffles.. but the weather wasn't suited for taking a nice stroll with a heavy pipa on your back.. so shall consider lunch 1st.. where do i wanna eat.. Bedok? or take 31 home... and on e way i can alight at Parkway or Old Airport. well amazingly while thinking.. i ended up sitting in McDonald at Bedok.. then it started pouring.. ok lucky i'm in shelter.. haha

then met xueqi after a while.. was just sitting there eating and watching Youtube shows.. trying to find a something.. then we crap a bit.. then left cos she had to go to school.. Sooo whats my travelling plan.. 31 home? then was reminded.. i need to buy 4th string.. cos it snapped. and i used 3rd to replace 4th and now my qin sounds like Shiiiitt.. haha.. wad a waste of 3rd string.. then somehow i ended up going to dover instead and went to SP with xueqi.. and better still some mechanical lab.. thus i had to wear this full lab suit.. which i swear is very very inconvenient.. and sat there for? 3+ hours.. doing almost nothing.. OMG!!...

then went to Foodcourt 4 for Dinner... cheap it is.. hah.. well the desert auntie has very bad temper.. =X

then went to SP Library and camp there till like 8.30 cos its closed at 9.. so they wrap up their project for the day.. i wrap up my MSNing for the time being.. haha..

took 33 to Bugis.. bought newspaper stroll around Junction for a while and headed for home..
tomorrow is NYCO Concert... shall go and rest now..

2008-07-15T23:29:00.002+08:00

feeling.. very much pathetic.. pathetic pathetic pathetic... it all seems so hopeless yet there might just be.. and the outcome lies on how i want it to be ( in a way )..

supposedly a feeling that gave the burst i needed came.. but it died off when reality came right smack in the face.. more disheartening news.. though i wished it wasn't real.. but it is.. and i must face the fact.. its another slap called F again.. totally pathetic right now... people affected because of me.. because i couldn't find that piece of Ivan.. which is leading to my disastrous downfall.. i feel so guilty.. i wished it all didn't happen... i really wished all these didn't have to happen.. i want time to stop and go back so badly now.. not for myself but for other people..

a feeling a pure pathetic-ness i can't explain what's it like.. i wish i could do a better job..

i hope i'll can really pull through this critical moment.. and then survive through all the way till Mid December.. right now.. all i can do... is to garner all my fighting spirit and start working things back to the way they were suppose to be..

jy to me..

2008-07-13T23:14:00.002+08:00

baack from Concert.. haha.. what a week.

Friday had the last nite rehearsal at HsingHai.. haha..was rather tired by the end of it... lazy go chase people whether they watching or not.. haha

Saturday was OMG!!!! i was so stressed i couldn't live life properly for a moment at all haha.. cos i was going to look for my HsingHai tickets.. to my horror.. i lost it!!.. i was like OMG!! they're gonna kill me.. then very stress then left the house very early..

had lesson in e noon.. ok i know a lot more of what to do.. i will definitely do something about it.. then ate LJS and choing to Ben's house for theory to find out he isn't home yet.. haha... then we play with ah boy through the door.. haha.. laame but haha.. then had our theory ""Exam"" haha.. we were sooo "tense" hah (as if) then ah boy very cute... jump on the sofa and started digging... starting to assume he isn't a dog but a rabbit hahha.. always so hyper..

then went Bugis to eat ice-cream.. thought there was Andersons there but we found Venezia instead but it wasn't that bad neither la.. haha.. then took 133 to boon keng. bought a chocolate waffle and headed home.. and continue my quest to find the tickets.. still can't find then call Zhong Hui to tell her 1st.. hah.. thankfully she very nice.. tell me don't panic.. slowly look for it.. i might just remember where i stuffed it. haha... but still can't find it in the end..

then this morning came so fast.. i didn't even feel like waking up.. haha ok i was woken up by an sms.. haha.. then i went to increase the volume of the radio from 0 again to try and keep myself awake.. haha..

then drag time till 11+ then decided to bathe and rush down to HsingHai to collect the pipa stands.. (lol i hope they look cool on stage =P) haha... then met xiaowen and daijun at Bugis to have ""lunch"" which consisted of seoul street food and Sweet Talk.. haha.. dots.. then we went down to SCH.. and xueqi came in not long after us. haha

Rehearsal was hahha.. my 公主 part i missed the note.. haha... then i also got play wrong frets for certain songs haha..

then Dinner!!.. haha mine was Egg, Fried Chicken, Curry Veg and Veg rice.. haha..

then went to change and stuff and put on whatever i need to and wore the coat.. haha i'm shocked by my own display.. haha... then i start walking around promoting iPhone cos i look like i'm doing a commercial advertising.. haha!!.. then went to 2nd level to see whos here... of cos backstage i saw someone i didn't wana see..!!! irritating... everytime see me ask stupid qns.. oh well.. he is my elder.. i must give him that certain level of respect at least.. then stood at 2nd level and watch people enter SCH.. lol then went up to the counter and OMG so many people.. haha then went into stage.. then they say when u go back in cannot come out.. i was so sad. haha i'm LOCKED IN noooooo!!!... haha 无聊 i know..

then yay show time.. haha we were rather stressed since we not carrying our pipa in cos its already outside on the stands... haha no sense of security.. =P then went out hey not bad la.. our ticket sales not bad.. (i should know best since i actually REALLY did a PROMOTION for my tickets... lol HsingHai people say i very 伟大 hahaa..) oh well.. haha glad 公主 was ok i think... not sure =P.. then went through the songs till intermission yay... went out to meet chunmei then talk to her till the bell rang.. then went back in... wanted to bring some bread in but then the ushers stop me.. SAAD!!.. lol..

then 2nd part of show came... and xueqi did her 霓裳曲.. yay clap clap.. kudos to you =) haha... audience response quite shocking ba.. ha.. they actually clap in beat for encore... sadly our encore too fast liao. haha.. and there was only 1 song.. saad.. haha oh well it was fun..

after packed everything and settled everything.. went to Bugis with xueqi and chunmei eat KFC lol.. then head home.. then i saw ah chun on the bus.. hahaha so funny.. then alighted on my bus stop. the most sadest thing happened.. i was crossing the overhead bridge and suddenly the rain started pouring on me.. O_O... evil sky.. haha.. couldn't u have waited for me to get home b4 raining.. now no more rain liao sian.. i think i'm falling sick.. haha expose to the heat from this afternoon thanks to the rain!!.. now i'm slightly feverish. =P

signing out

2008-07-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

wow geez.. ok what a week..

felt a feeling i've never felt for very long.. a sense of defeat.. a sense or real urgency.. after class thoughts just swept my mind.. as i felt as if it was raining soon.. the clouds were welling up.. but i held back.. hold my own hand.. told myself.. "Do you now know whats missing from now and then?".. only then.. i just regretted letting all the good chances go away because i wanted to have something called fun which i don't ever seem to get enough of. A lesson learnt, never EVER not be serious with anything i do.. i might only have only 1 go at it.. if i screw it.. its gone and it might never be repairable.. i wan to thank XueQi who has been helping me out really a lot a lot a lot.. too many a lots.. i think the whole post will be just filled with a lot.. thank you..

Although i felt rather siphoned.. i decided that why should i continue to feel siphoned when i already have for like how many years over different things.. am i not like "gelard" over eating this feeling as my main course for every meal every day? its time to stop doing yakking and get some real work done.. after all i got dreams and challenges i want to achieve.. perhaps dreams won't be too easy.. but challenges are my step 1 that i want to overcome..

well.. amazed... i overshot the bus stop to Central Library... and well step one to overcoming self flaws? i decided to walk back from Bugis MRT (all e way in e front) to the Library.. well felt happy that i did it.. ha (no i'm not pathetic).. borrowed 2 books... rather interesting.. in fact to make better use of my mind and WANT to LEARN something.. i've decided to work my way through the book the old academic Literature way.. and guess what.. i'm having fun... haha..

today well spent half the day at my Uncle's place in memory of his wife 2nd death anniversary.. sadly i'm not exactly very very close to them but i guess being part of it is also a good thing.. well.. as usual.. i talk with my aunts and uncles but i don't get along with their kids.. who are my relatives who are older than me.. but i'm in a way older than them.. because i'm their uncle.. -_- .. god.. must this keep reoccurring? haha.. i'm not that OOLLLDD.. i just lack some youthful spirit.. haha..

got home.. did my chores.. and went to sleep.. didn't sleep well yesterday at all.. i practically slept at 3.30am and woke at 7? due to an abrupt knocking which made me think i'm in a battlefield and i'm in those dugged paths with sandbags above and machineguns firing.. man... its a racket. well yes.. i fell asleep...

Dream number 1.. SCARY... a living nightmare.. i saw myself in those kind of typical giant large offices with many walls seperating the employees like cubicles.. and there i am..!!!! SITTING THERE from 8am-6pm EVERYDAY typing stuffs and doing stuffs.. OMG!!.. i cannot continue to see myself live in hell.. of cos why would i stay in that office? hmm...

Number 2... funny.. i was managing an event because a client approached me and requested i'd help him out with this Arts Event he intends to host... and then we go through the discussions of how things shall be working and etc etc etc.. cool... b4 hand work experience.. haha (though i barely rmb what was the content i just rmb the images)

of cos next was so shocking i sat up immediately awake b4 falling back to slumber..

i was asked to dine... hmm.. i haven't given a reply.. what should i say.. yes?... but i don' really feel like it... no? then i'm not a very nice person am i?.. but i really got important matters to take care of.. at least now i know how insanely important they are to me now.. so.. lemme think about it.. no hurry.. its next week.. i'll see how things are progressing and i'll think about it..

don't be so quick to shove off something when you haven't tried it yet.. take a bite, you might just end up addicted~ .. =)

2008-07-08T20:59:00.002+08:00

week hasn't been too nice to me.. but i'll still continue walking thats for sure..

Lesson got cancelled.. rather sad by it.. cos i was really really happy that day came.. but in the end nothing.. hope i don't lose the feel.. or i'm damned.. personally trying to make my comeback..

today went K with tk and xq =) ... haha my vocals are now tired.. after a Rock song.. then we went to Pastamania and eat baked food.. ha..

well while i was on the bus.. more thoughts came to me =P

was thinking.. life is like a thread.. and you're that thread... your being tied around 2 knobs of 2 doors.. when the doors are pulled in a repelling manner.. sure stress is added on the thread.. when they come closer together.. the thread has lesser stress on it.. but even if stress destroyed that thread.. and it snapped to 2.. ever wonder that maybe life isn't broken yet? because the thread is still bound to the knobs just in 2 pieces? the 2 ends can be bound together again with a knot.. rejoining the thread as 1.. thus why should life be destroyed when its only broken?

plans for the future? well at least for this year i'm very sure what i want to achieve this year.. i've fallen back on my dreams far too back.. it was near but now its just further by each day... sprint back on course..

i made a promise with myself.. a promise i must fulfill.. no matter how hard its going to get.. i made that promise and i'm sticking with it..

jy to me..

July the Month of many endings.. and beginnings

2008-07-05T23:28:00.000+08:00

siiggh.. my fav anime ended already.. 12 episodes -_- ... so sad!!...

killed my day today sleeping.. was suppose to go out but sky was black and i went to sleep.. so yes.. i rotted at home.. made me regret not bringing my qin home.. oh well no point regretting. tomorrow and monday jy to me...

hmm today really nothing much to do thus think too much again haha.. kept dreaming of different things.. energetic mind.. sadly not a energetic person ha.. came to think of this.. if you Hate someone a lot.. and you just Hate them Hate them cos of something that happened between the both of you.. doesn't that Hate still mean u Care for that person? since u took effort to Hate.. after all to wash it off is to not even Hate because theres nothing to feel. haha.. so effort taken to Hate a person can be a sign that you still Care for that person.. Don't let the chance slip..

then what is Giving? to simply give someone something? surely there must be a thought and reason behind it.. which is why we take time to pick gifts isn't it? The Season of Giving.. bring warmth to people around you in small tokens of gifts.. every gift has a reason why it was chosen..

then the most complicated one came up.. what is Love? to say and hear i Love You from both parties every moment, every day, every night? to treat the opposite party as well as possible making him/her feel that his/her day is so great because of you cheering him/her on? to buy endless of gifts sweet or romantic as a symbol of how much you're willing to spend on him/her? to feel glad and happy being with each other and still do so 20-30 years down the road.. never regretting growing old with him/her? to still wish him/her happiness even though both of you have broken up but you still love him/her enough that his/her happiness is also your happiness because seeing him/her happy makes you happy?

would you keep a bond? a bond that brings you joy once in a long while but the rest of the days this bond is rather cold and empty but even so.. the span and life is longer and maybe in its later stage you'll feel the warmth of it every moment.. .. or would you rather a bond that is full of warmth? but the span of the warmth is not definite.. it may start out as joyful warmth but that warmth might one day die out and remain cold forever..

Time cannot be controlled.. time runs on its own forever.. in fact who knows the time we live in now is definite.. your time can end anytime anymoment any reason.. so why not cherish everything you have for you.. and live that time given to you to its full capacity..

arghhh lol think too much.. and this was only in the afternoon..

sian.. lately having that feverish feel already.. izit the weather? or just me.. ha.. ah well been quite lifeless today.. went out to run an errand but b4 i left the gates i already almost was completely knocked out.. well even if i did knock out.. no one will know.. haha.. not till maybe 5-6 hours later... although i clearly remember i felt the world spinning in circles like mad 1 morning and from my guess i must have just been so giddy i slammed into the door and collapsed on the floor.. funny thing.. i was LEFT THERE on the cold hard MARBLE floor.. amused i didn't like bleed away.. haha.. of cos the bad part of that was.. i woke up finding myself on the floor and wondering why and my head felt like it cracked in 2.. well.. thats what you get from slamming into a door and crashing on marble floor...

ah well lazy to type more haha dun think anybody wanna read those random not here not there thoughts also.. later receive complaints =X ...

life under the same sky.. love under the same sky.. dream under the same sky.. must be kinda fun sharing the same things under the same sky.. haha

2008-07-04T23:42:00.000+08:00

what a day.. tiring and sleepy..

sigh when do bad things go away and disappear forever..? i'm sure it'll go away one day.. its just a matter of time..

anyway, had rehearsal today ZZzzzz.. i was 1hour early.. siiaann.. and i guess i was rather sleepy during rehearsal.. keep playing wrong and i always cannot find myself on the score.. hah in the end the stupid score with super small numbers i read until blur already... worst was to have headache to hear a lot of noise coming from all sides..

siiiggh double siiighs... showed xq what i've done for the past few days.. and it turned out like shiiiit.. serious crap.. i believe its my mood and energy thats affecting it i suppose.. cos it wasn't that crappy in the morning.. aigh.. anything it is. jy to me..

sian... 公主 is the 1st song for the concert next week.. and i got NO confirmations to the tickets except for 1... oh well.. oh well...

2008-07-03T22:28:00.002+08:00

finally i see hope in my 琴 haha.. job well done to me =) keep it up..

nothing much interesting happened today, went to Seoul Garden with xq today.. haha.. its very stuffy in there.. at 1st all was ok and fine.. then suddenly OMG.. a SWARM of china KIDS filled the whole restaurant i was like O_O.. i hate kids!.. no idea how small my world felt suddenly.. then i got very restless cos i don't want to leave my table and the table space i have is seriously retarded... then those stupid kids keep staring at my table and at my phone and PSP and what not.. MAAN its so friggin annoying..

thank god.. an hour or so later.. they all left... kudos theres living space now.. but wasn't long b4 it was packed with adults.. ahh oh well. don't think i'll go back for a long time... the living space is too small for me..

Orientation is on 31st July.. wow.. its going to be a sad sad day.. saw the schedule i wanted to cry.. haha.. OMG why must every damn Instituition print my name as Chng Weijie Ivan.. when it is Chng WeiJie Ivan.. -_- ... so irritated... it is NOT 1 word.. it is just 2 words COMBINED in 1.. argh!!!..

oh well nothing much to type about anymore >.<

2008-07-01T21:41:00.003+08:00

I was requested to do this and i think its FUN ha..

Name 20 person you can think of right now,
Dont read the questions until you have named the 20 people.

1. XueQi
2. Xiaowen
3. Ken
4. Jeremy
5. Jake
6. Seryang
7. Daijun
8. Donna
9. Donald
10. Chun Mei
11. Kwuan Boon
12. Sam
13. YiQing
14. Brian
15. Nicholas Ho
16. Avilyn
17. Jack
18. Ting Wei
19. Gerald
20. Adeline

How did you meet 14?
haha we were CO mates in Secondary School =)

What would you do if you never met 1?
I would be a rather pathetic loner for the past 1 year =)

What if 9 and 20 dated?
COUGH COUGH!!* no not happening

Would 6 and 17 date?
Hope not. =P

Describe 3.
More human than me.. and rather initiative..

Is 8 attractive?
hmm.. if i say no i later get drowned in basketballs.. =P ok la.. she looks a lot better now XD

Describe 7.
开心果 in 星海琵琶 hahaa...

What would you do if 18 confessed his/her love to you?
Already did once.. awww?

What language does 15 speak?
English and Cantonese

Who is 9 going out with?
Nobody in particular.

How old is 16?
27?

When is the last time you spoke to 13?
a few days back.

Who is 2's favourite band/singer?
My Chemical Romance ( i think that is what they're called)

Would you ever date 4?
O_o.. ... .. No haha

Would you ever date 1?
i'm too young and too poor =P

Is 19 single?
Yes.. you want his number? =X

What's 10's last name?
Mei

Would you ever be in a rls with 11?
Coughs even more* wads with the questions?... No

3's in school?
yes.. in a JC i'm not too sure about. =P

Where does 6 live?
somewhere in the Kallang district =)

What's your favourite thing about 5?
He is Cheery =D

Have you seen 2 naked?
O_O... Definitely No.. i mean how could I... tsk tsk.. naughty question haha..

6 people to do the quiz!
xiaowen
xueqi
daijun
yiqing
donna
chun mei

2008-07-01T21:22:00.000+08:00

haha Sunday...
HsingHai.. Zzzz..... ok 公主 was really suddenly very nice that day.. and i did my part more human now =) . haha finally.. (omg someone shut that van outside in like permenant reverse mode making that BEEP BEEP BEEP sound for half an hour liao..!!) well.. played the rest of the songs with the soloist (dizi) and we cut some songs.. sad... now i really don't know how to promote the concert.. aiya don't think anybody wants to watch also.. haha.. after all nothing impressive.. and my contacts haha.. use 1 pair of hands also can count =P.. well our Black Theme was a success!. haha.. pipa yangqin were in black top =p.. haha very funny.. our next color theme was?? pink?? O_o ... or pyjamas (lol xiaowen u dare ar?) hahaa..

After the whole rehearsal ended, which was 5pm T.T ... well our KTV Party World plan was scrapped.. saads.. but haha we can try again on the coming Monday since its Youth Day =) .. then me xueqi and daijun went to buy our pipa stands.. HAHA.. we making pipa look super Zai in HsingHai.. =P .. upgrade our image.. haha.. then well haha.. then me and xq went to meet cm.. haha then we ate 拉面 by 中国人.. at Fortune Center. haha.. then we went to Headquarters play Audi for an hour.. hahha... it seems i was funny that night?? hmm hahaa.. well i was rather energetic since i slept at like 9pm on Saturday? (ATTEMPTED TO!)..

so sian lor.. i tried to sleep then my mum come wake me up.. "你睡了啊?" then i was like... -_-... omg!!... then nevermind go back sleep.. a few mins later my dad come in and on the light... "you sleep already ar?" then i was like OMG STOP ASKING ME THE SAME QNS... i felt the sizzle (the kind u see in animes)... then nevermind.. then i think about 20mins or so later.. he come my room on my light and then say, "you not hot meh? never on air-con".. i was like OMG!!!! nooooooooooo... stop waking me up!!... pek chek.. haha but finally i get to sleep.. although i agree it was a friggin hot weather..

Monday.. hmm.. well congrats to myself.. i got my priorities and thinking more or less right now.. ha.. it was right.. the me then and the me now.. very very very different.. the things i aim for, the things i want, the determination i have for my own strives.. all very different.. =X

jy to me!.. must always remember.. this day is the day i've waited for 3 years liao.. i can't just say i want to like give up.. after remembering 3 YEARS!!.. ok.. i got a lot i just found out today that i need to work on.. well time flies when i'm doing proper stuffs.. haha..

Tuesday.. -_- .. i fell asleep typing halfway =P.. well today was pretty typical too i guess.. sweep the floor mop the floor.. prepare lunch etc etc.. Z_Z ....

well found out a few more things today.. my 琴 sounds different.. very 闷 i think.. i just totally dislike it!!... well time to work on that or i'll regret harvesting such a sound..

haha other than that.. tuesday.. yup typical..

tomorrow going to the doctor with my mum.. can't remember what time =X haha

well thursday!!... i shall wait for that day... the day i leave the house to see the world outside.. hahaha.. so many things i wanna do.. i wanna achieve.. i wanna work on.. i wanna play.. i wanna have.. Haha...

2008-06-30T20:49:00.001+08:00

note to myself

想要的一切，不一定是在这辈子里会拥有的。
带着希望每天会越来越好。
可惜，想了又在想。
虽然彼此有点相似，
可是可能事实就是不可能的吧。
那就算了，可能我这辈子是不会有这个荣幸。
就算我一直努力，也可能改不了什么事。

缘分，那命中注定的是?

对个人有意思，
想象真的没那么容易。可能我太自愿了吧。
我不相信我在这两年死心了。
有时想当年一切都很顺，连分手都不算什么大事。
彼此之间已经保持了沉默已经两年了。
也许我可能还想找个机会，
可惜机会来过一次但我没去抓住机会的尾巴。
反而感觉害怕，选择躲避。那是我命中的另一个遗憾。
哈哈，我花了太多时间在一个回不了的感情吧。
心情重视很沉重，为了这个人。我变了很多。

虽然心目中还会过冬天，可能有一天春天会敲着我的门。
带给我温暖和快乐。
我的快乐一定会回来的。

2008-06-28T20:23:00.002+08:00

heh heh.. FRIDAY

had lesson in the morning.. well... no comments... haha need to put some intel when practicing =).. jy to me for next week.. haha.. then went with XQ to Coronation Plaza to eat Prince Coffee House.. haha its so nice. $6.50 for a set meal.. =P

the plan was to go K but oh well.. we were like 45mins late liao.. so was thinking of KTV Party World... but didn't know promo is until 8pm haha.. in the end we met up with daijun and went for dinner.. walk around Marina Square until tired liao.. just to find that Anderson's Ice Cream shop which we didn't buy anything from when he FINALLY found it.. haha.. Azabu Sabo or something li that we saw exotic ice cream flavours... got Tofu flavour O_o ... Sea Salt and Caramel (eww?)... banana chocolate (?_?) haha too hungry liao... we wanted to Eat Seoul Garden but it was FULL... so we thought maybe Waraku.. OMG worse... then we were just about to go back Raffles City Basement eat Pizza Place (the place where is strangely the most empty out of all its neighbouring shops) but then we saw the Hong Kong Xin Wang Cafe.. and decided to eat there instead.. MANGO ICE!!.. =P

Bake rice erm.. haha i didn't like it.. it was like Beef Chunks and Rice and Cheese and Black Pepper Sauce.. so sometimes the rice has no sauce and the cheese dun really make a lot of difference cos its rather dry.. so it was rather . . . . haha.. the HK Milk Tea quite funny.. it was a metal "gong" (container type) haha.. then got this very funny promoter for Friends with HK XW Cafe... she talk very very fast.. the 1st time she told me everything i only listened like 10% of it.. =P then she repeat again slower.. haha.. and we decided to get the membership... 10% rebate sia.. and free wine on the month of your birthday... lol our aim is the Wine.. HAHA... then we get to pick a drink for free.. so haha.. we got Tiger Beer.. =P... the msot expensive drink liao... pretty funny watching each other drink Tiger Beer hahaha.. then Mango Ice came.. hahha.. by the time we were done with everything 10pm liao.. hah so late.. oh and i got new name.. -_-.. WenJie.. she write wrongly.. Noooooooo.. haha

ok quite funny.. while going home.. i just had that feel.. since i just drank alchohol (no kick at all) i feel like having some club Feel... so i on iPod and like sorta blast Black Eye Peas - Monkey Business Album.. then haha ok sorta got feel.. but people started staring at me.. i totally ignored em.. until i got home then i took off my earpieces?? OMG i can hear the lyrics when the ear pieces are like quite far away from my ear.. i was like OOopss.. (which resulted in my semi-deafness today.. haha ps to all those who talk to me and i keep going huh?? =P)

Today.. OMG!!!! i must put my room phone somewhere more accessible.. or put silent mode or something.. i had a friggin phone call that wasn't mine at 8.30... i was SOOOO ANGRY!!.. cos i put my phone on a high stool instead of the table.. and from my bed i gotta stretch to reach it.. and ME being SLEEPY AND GROGGY AND TIRED AND DREAMY!!.. had to wake a fraction of me to move to the phone to entertain the caller.. (although i had thoughts of lifting the phone and slamming it back down) =P... then i went back to sleep.. then nic call me.. then i woke up again.. Pek Chek already!... then i on laptop and got very very bored... msn a bit then felt like sleeping again.. then nic call again.. tell me he outside my house liao.. i was like orh~!!.. then open door for him.. my room is a horrible mess but i don't have that much energy to go pack up for visuals liao.. =P... he came over i still feel like sleeping.. then my mum call.. ARGHHHHH PEK CHEK!!! i hate the phone ringing now.. so loud and irritating.. HAHAHA... then she bought us lunch and nic after lunch... then i wash up everything..

well i still had time to kill.. it was only 1.. but i still got to do theory.. but i hahaha.. i just lie on my bed and eat air.. hahaha.. then i sorta didn't really sleep but rested for 1 hour =P.. woke up was like 2ish.. decided to do theory.. (was already 2.45pm) then i went to bathe and stuff and then get ready go Ben's house.. on the bus almost sleep again.. (OMG i keep wanting to sleep).. woke up at Jalan Eunos then blur blur dunno where i am.. haha.. which resulted to my alighting at 1 stop early instead of the actual bus stop.. sads.. haha.. went theory i had a little more working spirit until it was video time.. OMG watch Beethoven Symphony i was like.. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hahaha... quite funny la.. talking about flutist and stuff.. apparently our topic of the day all seem to be only related to Blowing instruments.. Brass and Woodwind.. (haha wad to do.. our teacher part of the blowing family) hahaha..

Theory lesson ended.. yay.!! no more sadistic symphonies.. haha my neck lately got problem.. very stressed... thus leading to constant slight headaches.. then we went Bedok Central eat Food Court.. had Ban Mian which i didn't think was very nice but oh well.. its still ok.. then bought 珍珠奶茶.. then after that went home liao.. then crap with chunmei all the way till she reach home.. talk about MRT v.s NEL v.s LRT and what will Circle line be like.. haha.. then discuss about eZlink card.. haha so funny.. oh well.. 66 is a looooong bus.. prefer 31.. =P..

now i'm home and i'm veeerrryyyy sleepy.. i hope the house phone won't ring at unearthly hours again... i'll kill that person.. haha... ESP if i am the one who picks up the phone.. (usually leads to foul mood) call my hp i no feeling.. call my home phone i'll kill that person.. haaha.. tomrrow Hsing Hai.. zomgz.. haha the overseas soloist come liao.. all e best to our presentation as 1st impression to him ba.. hahaha.. =P

ok i'm going to retire to sleep.. really cannot tahan liao.. still thought maybe can audi till 10pm to sleep.. now neck strain and eyes closing =P... Zzzz..

2008-06-26T20:06:00.004+08:00

well ok some updates =)

wednesday was probably a balanced day huh.. well i had 1 of the most funniest yet weirdest dreams on wednesday morning (tuesday nite)... i dreamt that someone was sad and i somehow had a feeling that person was u know upset.. and i just amazingly turned on msn and my laptop in like a flash (it is a dream).. and there it is. haa (sometimes i think was it a dream or was i sleepwalking).. and we chatted away till everything was fine.. haha.. (probably proves i'm a very nice person huh.. wake up for someone upset LoL)...

well ok so wednesday came.. i basically had myself prepared for the no electricity.. so i got prepared to leave the house... When i was all done and set to leave? i headed to the life and OMG!!.. IT WAS DOWN!!.. i was like no shit!... they didn't say they'll shut down the power in the lifts ALSO!!... poor me.. gotta climb down 10 storeys.. thank the heavens i didn't have to climb up 10 storeys.. haha..

well same ol same ol.. travel in a circle around the east.. haha then headed for Kallang Leisure Park.. camp there for a pretty long time i would say.. read my Literature book till sian.. then ate Subway with XQ haha. mug for exam/test.. haha Aromatic Structure.. hahaha all the things about plastic you never knew.. =P.. then i decided to use the internet.. so i switched my iPhone and then i on the iPod function and MSNed till my batt went flat... with that in mind.. HAHA... i was in the middle of something then so i did something really funny.. i took out the PSP and login to Wireless@SG and continue MSN.. HAHAHA!!!!.... then head for home at 9.40 since it was e last shuttle out.. unless i want to take a bus to Old Airport Road and then switch to 31.. haha

well perhaps up till then.. my day was pretty much rather brightening to know that it was a good day.. but didn't end my day that well... shall not talk about it.. don't want to remember it occured.. i don't even feel like replying the messages..

Today.. haha

amazed. i woke up i was still like groggy.. but i actually forced myself to be a little more awake since i got very impt things i MUST do and complete by today.. =)

i practiced and then went to watch "Fated to Love" .. haha.. then well i got rather tired and decided to take a short doze.. =P... woke up continue watching haha.. then prac again... now i'm Dead BEAT... but at least i got back a little confidence from my effort put in.. i think i spend more effort making myself concentrate then on working at it.. hah

All e best to me =)..

All e best to those who Still have like 1 last paper or 2 tomorrow.. =) .. after tomorrow you're free from CT/MYE/etc etc etc haha.. Jy jy!!...

And GRATZ to all those who have ended CT/MYE/etc etc etc =)

2008-06-24T22:18:00.003+08:00

haha.. tuesday.. i woke up at like 10ish 11ish.. so sleepy.. after last nite.. haha.. was totally tired out..

woke up and mum drag me out with her.. we had vegetarian meal..it was quite ok i guess.. i just didn't like the korean set nor the japanese set.. =P then well sorta walked around Bugis Junction a while.. till i was like totally tired out again.. =P (that was about 10mins).. then went home..

got home all i had in my mind was i Need to practice.. but the fatigue just set in and rooted itself in and i fell asleep.. so i slept a lot today but i still feel like sleeping X_X...

woke up in time to get ready to go for family dinner.. haha it was at Swiss hotel again.. this time its at merchant court.. shall upload some pics..

haha... omg i ate too many sweet stuffs... i ate like Hot Chocolate Fudge Cake.. i thought it was going to be bitter so i was like Yay... so i took quite a large portion then to my horror its sweet.. i almost died.. haha.. then had mango pudding.. more SWEET.. then i thought hmm maybe some good cookies can wash it off with the fragrance of Baked Cookies.. who knew? the cookie dough had a large quantity of sugar mixed in it.. i'm feeling sick now =P.. too sweet...

ok i really feel weird now.. haha too much sweet stuffs in one meal.. =P.. with all this in mind.. i need to BURN em off!!...

after dinner.. i took a walk around clark quay while my parents and brother went to Central shopping mall.. hmm walked along the riverside and found that i'm bored.. haha.. i just see boats go by but i can't hear the waves.. like those at ECP just crashing onto the sand.. or at WCP.. then went to e carpark and then head for home..

OMG theres going to be no electricity from 2pm to 4.30pm.. i'm going to die... haha ok fine maybe i'll go to the library or something =P...

当年，这时，未来

2008-06-22T18:34:00.003+08:00

HsingHai ended today.. new song was like crap.. =P.. can't read the score properly.. well oh well... i still got my 10tickets unbooked... sad.. ha..

tomorrow got to go to school and have a photo taken for my student pass. =) i hope i can get it by the week...

OK WHATEVER IS BELOW IS PROBABLY SOMETHING U DON'T WANT TO READ.. COS ITS LONG ITS RANDOM AND EVEN IF U ASKED WHAT I MEANT? I CAN'T GIVE U AN ANSWER COS I DON'T REMEMBER... =)

当年
around 2 years back.. life was.. crappy in school.. but outside school life was better.. at least i wasn't under a HIT LIST outside school.. and then a song that well perhaps i could say the theme of that year... perhaps this person still remembers.. maybe not.. 2 years of silence..

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land,I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.
I felt the earth beneath my feet,Sat by the river and it made me complete.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.

I came across a fallen elm tree,I felt the branches; are they looking at me?
Is this the place we used to love?Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.

So if you have a minute why don't we go,Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.So why don't we go, somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know.

ok.. well that year passed not to nicely.. then came 2007... perhaps my silence in my life.. hasn't changed the fact that it makes people hate me.. i am forever silent.. but bearing all of everything inside in silence.. perhaps the worst way to kill yourself.. well.. i remember this very clearly.. the top song played on my list was 安静.. ha..

Jay Chou - 安静

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得

你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过

你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

haha wad a long post... the present.. i have nothing to say.. perhaps i've changed a lot more since the past.. but well life won't change so much anyway.. i'm hearing a song now.. well what does it instill in me? perhaps something nice yet it could also be something not too nice.. depends on it is looked at.. after all everything is based on perspectives and the way we look at things isn't it?.

maybe i will still stay silent and then regret being silent next year or in the time to come.. after all silence was the cause of all my "Happy Endings".. so will i watch what silence can do again? shall i repeat history again and watch what happens and then find that its too late?

perhaps i'm thinking too much yet again.. after i thought of these 2 things out of like the blue..
i have to improve myself and place myself up there so that we can see eye to eye.. only then the gap between will be smaller..
i should just stop and let go... nothing good is ever going to happen.. its just something that will tumble and crash and shatter in time to come..

haa the irony in everything i say.. i counter my own words.. haha.. i still remember someone told me, "i envy your mind.. can take so many emotions at once and still be alive" haha.. can't remember who said that liao. =X .. hmm.. what i want.. what will happen.. what i dream.. what i think.. they all have the "i" inside the phrase or word.. but haha in every phrase there is a "uu" =) ... double u...

sacrifices are made.. whether u like it or not.. it comes and happens.. because it can't be helped.. if theres a need and a must.. i guess when it comes.. i'll then have to cut a piece of me again.. and let it die.. haha.. perhaps i shouldn't have made that wish when i was 14.. to have a heart.. sigh... this song.. i should remove it!!.. it has a nice melody and stuff but the effects on me aren't too nice.. haha -_- . lame.

ok so maybe this is my most lame post ever..

well moving on to part 3.. hmm sigh.. just thought.. Christmas.. how is it going to be this year? same ol same ol? but then thinking if its already Christmas that makes me wonder i should be thinking what happened like 12 days ago.. haha this year.. too many things..

i had a walk earlier.. hmm felt so you know.. relieved just by walking and staring at the blue sky wif puffy clouds... at least it made me not wonder and think.. of cos the cause of it was i almost tripped off the staircase cos i was on an overhead-bridge..

haha after saying so much... i'm still thinking about the silence.. this is such a pain

u can stop reading =) because its just about to get more random and random

b <--> a / a -> c <-->d / a -> e --> f /

-_-.... wad the shit am i typing i also dunno.. haha.. just typing whatever comes to my mind at the moment..

Curiosity kills the cat... in fact killed the cat... not once.. arghH!!

i know u know.. u duno i know u know.. but i know u duno i know u know.. haha mind game..

2008-06-21T23:49:00.001+08:00

haha ok friday..

i went to watch MOE Music Camp Concert alone.. wasn't very interesting.. but ok... went to give nic some support nia =) .. ok truth was by the 2nd song i wanted to sleep already.. =X... its soo boring.. haha.. at least i wasn't mean enough to take out PSP and play during concert. haha.. then i went home after concert and practiced again.. haha.. must make good progression..

Saturday..

omg i was at somerset since 10.20 waited till 12.30 haha.. ok my fault for not remembering where the 1st location to meet at was... quite forgetful.. forget a lot of things.. probably got too much on my mind also haha.. then met xq.. then we went hello shop.. came out happy.. =) then went to meridian to eat.. hah i miss the korean food there.. then we took bus to Ben's house for theory.. chionged my hw on the bus. haha.. (as usual)...

After theory went bugis and walk around.. haha teddy bear so cheap.. $5.. =P.. i dunid 1 anyway.. got 1 rather large one liao.. then we went pastamania to eat.. YES i finally get to solve the soda craving.. but... it wasn't as good anymore... but its ok.. the soda feel is still there.. haha.. was rather full.. then we went Bugis Village to walk around.. well the girls shopped and i just helped em out.. haha.. then cm had her ear pierced. i couldn't bear looking at it.. i'll feel the twist.. haha.. although i did wanted to get 1.. but.. nevermind.. i'll still consider if i want myself stabbed.. haha...

luckily i dunid to witness on the spot.. like tongue piercing.. i think i'll die more than the person getting pierced. haha..

oh well.. tomorrow got hsinghai rehearsal.. argh.. =P..

Christmas... dunno why i've been thinking about that day since a few weeks back.. haha

2008-06-19T16:37:00.002+08:00

hmm.. ok i think i might edit some of the tests answers.. hah.. after reading through it.. doesn't feel very me but maybe it does... ha.. lol.. can't explain as to how did i get high doing it.. haha.. yesterday me xq and nic went to cm's house to SURPRISE her.. haha.. so funny.. we saw her coming we were like OMG.. HIiiide... then all hide behind the pillar and wall.. haha.. but sadly she saw us.. and she double confirmed by opening her window which made a VERY LOUD Crack sound.. haha.. so funny.. then she requested 5mins to clean up the place.. =P..

well haha.. then we had cake and audi inside.. haha.. was fun huh? haha..

after the whole thing.. me and xq took a walk to some distant bus stop.. (more like exploring the unknown of macpherson/paya lebar).. haha.. then found a bus stop wif bus to SingPost.. then we ate ""Dinner"" there.. and then well i didn't feel like taking 21 so i took 2 with her to bedok and i switched to 31.. i prefer going by the kallang route straight home.. 21 so.. ... ... haha... oh well..

got home found a LASALLE-SIA letter on my table.. eagerly ripped it open.. and finally.. i'm getting my student pass.. Photo shoot will be next monday.. i'm going for like the 1st slot.. haha.. i don't care.. i want to get it over and done with.. hopefully i can collect the card by the week... so i can buy bus concession and travel as much and as far and wherever i want.. finally.. get to cut costs of travelling.. did some stupid things last nite.. i took up a accounting paper.. and start scribbling my expenses and stuff down.. (with the stacks of receipts i had) and then calculating along my weekly allowance.. and i double confirmed with my answer that i AM SPENDING TOO MUCH!!! haha..

ohh i had this realisation like yesterday.. cos 31 foreva takes me across this road.. and i see this school.. no idea what it is (cos i usually travel pass at nite)... but the banner that just attracts my attention.. Chinese Orchestra - Gold With Honours.. i was like hmmmm.. what kinda school would that be.... then yesterday i finally found out is Kong Hwa School.. haha.. -_-.. oh well.. battery died on the bus.. didn't had music to listen to so i just looked out the window and tried to familiarise the road and like you know have an imprint in my head so if i ever get lost i'll figure a way out.. haha...

hmm... practiced today... not making remarkable progress.. but i guess i'm still ok.. at least still on track.. =)

things come things go.. things appear.. things vanish.. i'll let it be instead of controlling the uncontrollable.. =)

2008-06-18T23:59:00.005+08:00

1. What will you be most focused on most of the time?
erm.. pipa unless i get distracted by something else.. =P

2. What do you want the most now?
company

3. Who is the person you trust the least ?
myself

4. How would you describe yourself?
overly active for the wrong things at the wrong time

5. If you have a nightmare to come true, what will it be?
me being killed.. ouch! T.T

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
saw it once in America.. if u mean by vocab.. perhaps..

7. What is your goal for this year?
hahaha its the same.. read the previous tests

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
siiigh.. i lazy to repeat

9. What feeling do you like the least?
SERIOUSLY!!!...

10. What are the requirements you wish to have from your other half?
nothing much.. it all depends how things come and go =) so far its really the funniest thing i've come across..

11. What feeling do you feel everyday?
unknown. indescribable

12. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
must i repeat.. OMG SERIOUSLY..

13. What makes you happy?
hmmm.. haha =P... you could say eating GOOD mango ice.. or else if its something else then.. erm.. haha =P

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
music,love,MONEY...

15. Who do you hope to be always be there for you?
frens

16. Who are your best friends?
they know =)

17. Who cares for you the most ?
those who know =)

18. What will you do if you met a failure?
u know for a moment this question is damn funny.. and rather evil.. people can answer.. laugh at that failure.. hahahaha... hmm.. if i met a failure(by doing something wrong not meeting a person) hmm.. try again?

19. Who do you hate the most now?
me

20. What do you wish to do right now?
erm... =P go out

2008-06-18T23:59:00.004+08:00

1. Where were you at 3:05 AM this morning?
In my room MSN-ing and watching Anime.

2. How did you get the idea for your Friendster name?
Its my Chinese name

3. What are you listening to right now?
If You're Not the One

4. What color is your cell phone?
Black,Silver

5. Do you click on pop-ups?
No

6. Do you own an iPod?
Not really i own an iPhone

7. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
omg.. i'm not saying this =P

8. Is the person you like older or younger than you?
younger.. by a few days.. =P

9. What did you do last night?
msn-ed, stoned.. died..(not literally)

10. What are the last two digits of your cell phone number?
66 used to be 44

11. What was the last thing that you had to eat?
Fries in Cheese Sauce

12. Who is the last person of the opposite sex that you hugged?
u know i think i rmb i did.. but i can't remember who.. not common i hug people..

13. What do you dislike at the moment?
Sourness of life

14. What is the most exciting thing you did over the last weekend?
MSN =)

15. What food are you craving?
Mango Ice

16. What did you dream last night?
me and a place then it gets blurry.. (liar) =P

17. What's the last TV show you watched?
命中注定我爱你

18. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
Silver

19. Name 1 person on your Top Friends who is most like you?
Most like me?? welll..... its better to not say... =)

20. Do you always lock your door?
no

21. Of the people you've kissed, how many do you regret kissing?
erm...... ermmm............. a few...

22. Who is the last person you hugged?
dum dee doo... CONFIDENTIAL

23. How many piercings/tattoos do you have?
0 Zero Nada None

24. Where's your favorite place to be?
Kallang

25. Who's someone you haven't seen in awhile and miss?
tw

26. When was the last text you sent?
"omg"

27. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Nicholas Ho

28. Have you ever done anything to start trouble?
yes... i'm making trouble for myself

29. Where do you wish you were right now?
heh heheh.... =P CONFIDENTIAL
not so serious would be in my dreams =)

30. Where do you live?
Kallang

31. How are you?
High doing these tests haha

32. When do you think you'll be married?
N.A

33. Did you ever think to yourself and wonder if you're really real?
you know?? YES...

34. What celebrities do people say you look like?
Better than Jay Chou/Rain.. Thx..

35. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but don't?
YESSS... i end up so saad.. na.. depends on the importance and weightage of the call.. overall still yes.

36. Do you ever feel guilty about eating meat?
nope... maybe if i eat lamb.. =P..

2008-06-18T23:59:00.003+08:00

1. What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?
we've been friends since Primary School =)

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
nope.. unless i feel like being left alone totally.. (isolation)

3. What happened at 10am today?
i was doing stupid things on msn.. maybe regretting it now

4. When did you last cry?
i'm not sure.. maybe i did today.. but held it back.. but i'm definite last tuesday =(

5.What is you favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
WAFFLE!

6. What do you want in your life right now?
someone

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put on your hood?
depends what i have at the moment

8. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?
Mr.SquishyDicey..

9.What bottom are you wearing now?
black soccer pants

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
"I love you" (this is soooooo old liao)

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
no not really.. but sometimes.. its part of playing =)

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
nope

13. wad was the last movie you caught?
Narnia : Prince Caspian

14. What are you proud of?
My heart

15. What does the oldest text msg in your inbox say?
Welcome to Gmail

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
对的人

17. Do you have any nicknames?
yvonne..

18. What does your last received msg say?
Congrats

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
4am

20. Are you currently happy?
Yes & No

21. Who gives you best advice?
My Frens and my Teacher

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
NEVER!!.. do you know how FAT that is?!?!?

23. Who did you talk to on the phone last night?
my soul.. kidding.. nobody didn't feel like talking.. =P

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
YES!!!

25. What/who was the last thing/person that made you laugh?
Myself..

26. Do you wear toe socks?
nope

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Nicholas Ho

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes.. sadly...

29. What annoys you most in a person?
Misunderstandings and not understanding.. haha

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
perhaps? ... yes?..

31. Have you ever done cociane?
no

32. What is the colour of your room?
White and Blue(with some liuqins hanging.. which used to drop on me)

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billlion dollars?
I'll consider it if the terms are ok.

34. Do you believe in the saying "talk in cheap"?
what kinda crappy english is that..

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
apart from me? my frens who visit or stayover..

36. Who was the last person who hugged you?
er.. hahahaha!!!... CONFIDENTIAL

37. Who was the last person you kissed?
CONFIDENTIAL

38. Do you have a life?
maybe.. NOT!!!... its music music music.. OMG!!.... wads this.. !!! .. ok i like music but not more than hahha... >.>

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didnt?
yes... me.. haha

40. What's the reason behind your profile song?
i don't like someone.. i think i'm in love with someone.. -_- ...

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dreams?
doooo DEeeee DOooooo

42. Last time u smiled?
today? had to like make myself happy even though maybe i'm not really that happy but hey.. we should be happy for ourselves and others. =)

43. Have you changed this yr?
A lot...

44. What are you listening to right now?
给我你的爱

45. Are you talking to someone while you're doing this?
xiaowen(who i copied this test from cos i find it fun) hahaha

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
well.. philosophically its closed. literally? its open..

47. Is there a quote you live by?
Love is somewhat Everything.. =P
Determination and Fighting Spirit will get us somewhere.

48. Do you want someone you cant have?
yes

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
since i duno? 4?5?

50. What was the worst idea you had in the week?
loitering at a certain location knowing that i naturally won't.

51. What were you doing last night at 11pm?
thinking.. and realizing i can't "Quit Game" in life.. T.T but i'll press on =)

52. Are you happy with your love life now?
maybe in a way... it would be better if it was better. =P

53. What song describes your love life?
If You're Not the One

54. does the person know that you like him/her?
yes

55. Who always makes you laugh?
XueQi

56. do you speak other language other than english?
Mandarin/Japanese/Korean(like shit)/German(only for greetings)/Hokkien/Teochew/Singlish

57. are you blond?
was(fake blond)

58. What's your middle name?
N.A

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
perhaps loitering? or something more constructive would be going to the library or go for a swim but most definitely WILL PRACTICE..

61. Who will you choose to die with?
命中注定我爱的人

62. Where have you been today?
Kallang, SingPost, Bedok, Paya Lebar, MacPherson, Circuit Link, Old Airport Road, Boon Keng, McNair Road, Tiong Bahru

63. What game do you play often?
a game of love =X just kidding
N.A

64. Who are you missing rite now?
tw

65. If you have to choose between friends and love, which will you choose?
siiigh...i hate this question... i'm SORRY but i would choose the latter.

66. What are you doing right now?
Doing this thing which is making me remember history..

67. Which primary school are you from?
Anglo Chinese School (Junior)

68. Name 3 colours that you like.
Red,Blue,Green =) Basic Colors.. mix em and get compounds =)

69. What emoticon do you like to show?
=P / XD / =X / -_- / -_-|| / V_^^_V / censored due to anti-vulgarity policy

70. What is life to you?
no idea.. doing whats best for myself and loving someone with all my life.. hmm...(i sound sooo sad)

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
i will keep it to myself(which usually fails), i'll write it in my black book.. i'll hint anyone that i wanna talk..

72. Who did you last chat with in msn today?
XueQi/Xiaowen

73. Who do you admire the most?
hmmmm.... myself.. NOT.. dunno.. anybody successful in the aspects of life i'm in. =)

74. Which month are you born in?
May

75. How are you feeling right now?
Mixed... Happy, Sad, Sour, Demoralised, Denial, Selfish, Forced Happy, Rejection

76. What is the time now?
12.30am oo the day started 30mins ago..

77. Where are you now?
Home in my room ALONE.. T.T

78. What colour did you use to dye your hair?
Ash Brown, Hazel Brown (which like faded liao)

79. Why are you doing this test?
cos i thought it will be fun..

80. What do you do when you're moody?
i think.. and think.. and then if my thinking gets too far.. i might break down.. and then my day/week/month/year(depends on situation) gets destroyed..

81. At what age do you plan to get married?
N.A

82. Who is more important to you now? boyfren/friend
.................................................................................... you know this question... is so.. er... aiya u know the answer =)

83.Do you think you have enough confidence?
maybe.. since i'm doing something really stupid that EVERYONE is saying DON"T DO IT!.. but i still do.. even though it might hurt like hell in the end..

84. Who is the person you trust most?
XueQi,Jeremy

85. will you love your crush/bf forever?
yes

86. If you ever have a dream come true, what would it be?
so far? is to hope that "this" could be brought to another level in the months to come and live through Christmas.. and better still.. foreva..

87. What is your goal for this yr?
Do my Best in Competition
Selflessness

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
perhaps

89. What feeling do you love most?
love.. ha

90. do you really think its global warming now?
Yes.. my skin is DEGENERATING!!... i've been warned that Singapore climate can destroy my skin horribly if i stay outdoor too long..

91. What feeling to you hate the most?
Draggy News.. Drags and Pulls.. especially when it is important.. i like it to be clean and sharp and JUST CUT!...

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
yes i do.. but i don't think i display it.. sorry..

93. Do you believe in god?
i got nothing to say..

94. Who cares for you the most?
my friends my family..

95. What do you think is the most important thing in life?
A Dream

96. What'll you bring to a fight?
If you insult my fren/love in the most intolerable manner

97. What have you regretted in your whole life?
losing someone special 3 years ago..

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
pure sadness... literally..

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
i would be rather sad.. but i don't know.. i hope that doesn't happen.. if it does.. well.. i don't know what to say/do.. maybe i'll still continue to love like an idiot..

100! love with a guarantee of heartbreak, or nvr to be loved at all?
love with a guarantee of heartbreak... thats what i'm doing now... maybe its not guaranteed.. but i think it might be... but i still do... lol.. DUMB!...

2008-06-16T22:34:00.003+08:00

hmmm spent the day fiddling with the new desktop.. haha.. at least i'm typing on a proper keyboard again... hahaha.. been a long time since i've used a desktop... been using laptop for like the past 2-3years... only inconvenient this is that the desktop is 1 piano distance away from my room.. haha.. nevermind i shall take over that room after July =) ... Expansionism Policy... haha...

hmm.. well was suppose to go parkway parade at 6pm and i left house close to 5... then was thinking i might be too early.. so i dropped at old airport road food centre and drank sugarcane (-_- i know its awfully random but hahaha)... then was thinking of eating "Shui Jiao Mian" but going to have KFC dinner at PP so i was like nevermind.. another day.. haha.. then took the bus on after i felt like leaving... thought i was going to be late liao since i took my time.. but haha who knows i was 8mins b4 time and nobody was there yet neither.. so haha.. walked around the Apple Shop... ENVY.. my brother bought himself a MacBook Pro... OMG... i waaan also.. =P...

so got to PP and did my walking around waiting for everyone... then chunmei met me at the apple shop.. and we tried to find her those covers for earpieces(regular earpieces) but don't have since most of apple's earpieces now are the rubber plugin ones.. soo we walked out and went to Umeya.. 100Gm of sweets = $.180 Buy 200Gm get 100Gm free... hmmmmm.. haha but i didn't feel very sweet today.. in fact i don't think i feel well enough to eat sweets.. not a taste i think i can palate down today also i guess haha.. then we walked out of the sweet shop after looking at all the sweets... and she wanted to buy Aunt Anne cos she was hungry already.. then we saw yq and jeremy.. haha.. yes and jeremy is still soo -_-.... =P... then chunmei got her pretzel and we waited for nic at KFC then xq came not too long later.. =X.. haha..

OMG... i had to eat Family Feast with 3 people.. haha.. we seem to be eating 4 pple meals with 3 pple haha.. (same thing occured at Pizza Hut) haha.. sigh.. i still hate CRISPY... crappy kitchen staff at e back.. can't fry chicken for nuts.. ah.. i felt so gelat after eating 1 crispy the 2nd was harder to palate.. then haha we sat there and chat... or basically its just about "suaning" me.. thx ar.. think of all the weird weird things.. haha.. which 1 actually made me laugh till i teared... haha.. -_-.. then we had the Complimentary Agar Jelly.. xq(strawberry), cm(plum), nic(lychee), me(mango as usual).. hahaha.. and then i ate some of jeremy and yq's 80% Dark Chocolate cake.. ahh bitter =)

then we went out to the smoking zone to celebrate an early b'day with cm... haha it was funny.. light up the candle and sang song... and then ya haha. by then we no more appetite to eat anymore liao.. so haha cm dao pao!... hope u liked ur cake =)

ok dinner was done and it was like 7+ish only.. so we went shopping at PP.. bascially i buy nothing as usual.. haha i just stuffed a few notes into my wallet and it went blank by dinner.. siiighh... extravagant spending.. haha.. ok i didn't see anything in the shops that cried out buy me anyways.. haha.. XD ... then nic keep picking white clothes.. hah.. so funny.. the Bitchy Angel... hahaha.. then we walked from Cotton On to Giordano to ESPRIT to TOPMEN to G2000 then to FOX Baby.. then to FOND... wad a trip.. and then realise it was 9 and decided to go home. haha.. now i'm so tired.. =P.. sleepy... uncommon that i go to sleep at this timing but oh well..

plans for tomorrow.. hmmm. practice... maybe go to the library and do some reading up.. i'm starting to feel too slackish... its like.. -_-... i've haven't been doing anything Student like for like 9months.. and then all the JC people are spamming for JCT/MidYears/etc etc etc.. and the Poly people going back to school again next week.. haha.. makes me realize.. OMG.. next week school start liao (for everyone i know except me)... which means... my MSN is going to be like a Dead Town the WHOLE DAY... siigh... the killer boredom... when is AUGUST coming!!!..... i need a life.. =X..

hmmm.. just when i thought the killer concert season of MAY is over.. now the next season JULY is coming.. haha.. (btw i'm still advertising HsingHaiArtsAssociationChineseOrchestra) hahha OMG wad a friggin long name.. hahaha.. hmmm MOE Music Camp Concert this friday... hmmmm.. should i watch??? i'll watch if anybody else is going.. haha. hint hint*. cos i got strong gut feeling i might literally be bored to tears.. haha.. ah well it in the end depends where ah nic is sitting and which orchestra he gonna be in.. haha..

wad a lengthy post i've just written hahaha.. sadly i got no pics to put up so u can stop staring at words... i'm too lazy to connect my phone to the desktop and re-do the setup.. ha..

la la la... hmmm...

OMG did i just hear a Ding!... but there should be nothing in this room that can make that noise on its own.. not the clock or something but OMG... i'm freaking out.. this room so scary.. hha.. maybe cos its at the corner thats seperated from the other rooms.. (1 piano distance away) but OMG... i keep thinking theres something behind me now.. since the Ding came behind me while i was typing.. !!!!!!!!... PARANOID!!!... save me T.T ... haha shit i don't dare leave the room liao.. since the outside so dark... =P... i better make a run for my room..HAHAHA .. i'm not that timid.. (lousy liar).. hahaha.. =X ok i'll stop my spastic spams here and switch back to my laptop.. =)

2008-06-15T23:53:00.004+08:00

hsinghai was killer.. haha i was the only pipa for like the whole time b4 lunch.. hah.. so i had to play gongzhu myself. haha.. cos someone was stuck on the bed... and tk went pc show and xw hmmm?? haha.. oh well.. at least xq came just b4 lunch to play ni shang qu.. hah..

haha had Hsing Hai Arts Association Anniversary today.. and only me and xq represented the CO for performance.. haha.. so stress sia... our main song was ok.. our encore was like haha. (MY FAULT).. haha... we very funny. cos the aunties want to take picture so b4 we started we pose 1st.. HAHAHA... then i swear i heard them say, "haha so cuute" i laughed my head off.. haha.. dinner was erm.. okay lar.. i never eat the CAKE.. T.T it was chocolate.. ( reminds me of someone who made me eat more Chocolate Eclairs cos he thinks i'm too thin -_- )

haha then after everything we just sat at HsingHai chatting with the dizi teacher.. haha we know more now =p.. quite fun la.. catching up with Hsing Hai pple.. then chunmei came then haha she was hungry and she had to wait for us to finish chatting... then after that we went to fortune centre eat ramen.. ok she ate ramen... haha.. then we went to "pak" Audi.. haha.

ok i shall continue to comment on the performance.. haha.. hey we managed to settle chun tian in 1 day ok.. its very good liao =p.. our new signboard song.. haha.. no nid play the horrible 3-6 anymore... so yesterday.. hahaa...

HSING HAI ARTS ASSOCIATION CHINESE ORCHESTRA CONCERT

13 JULY (SUNDAY) 7PM $12 PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE COMING =)

MUST COME.. =P i got 10 tics only now. but i can get more =) at least Hsing Hai will be more than happy to provide more.. haha.. so haha you know u want to watch so Come.. hahaa

2008-06-13T23:59:00.001+08:00

arghhh head hurts.. i barely feel like blogging.. haha.. OUCH!!!!... somebody save me...

mind paralysis for like 3 days liao... when will it stop... anyways... as expected i got a lecture on my playing again.. focus... FOCUS..... well i wanna do well and not disappoint myself neither riiiite? haha

then omg.. spend the rest of the Day at xq's house playing Chun Tian.. =P.. i'm horribly atrocious at it.. hahahaha... spare me.. haha.. i don't feel like solo-ing so i must do something about it.. haha.. then watched her teach her 2 students haha quite funny.. =X

then well we got really tired and exhausted from like yes listening to pipa for the whole day... too MUCH.... so we went to play a few rounds of Audition b4 going to Ljs for dinner..

haha had my Combo2 wif chips and cheese again.. i shud stop spending so excessively.. i got a lot i need to save for especially lessons.. =X then we ate chill laugh random etc etc.. and then we decided as a group to leave all our qin's at xq's house. since we're going back there again tmr.. hahaha.. OMG.. i'm so tired already.. haha poor nic and cm... 9.30 lesson =P... i don't think i can wake at that time at this rate.. haha

hmm.. well comment for my week so far... Crappy yet not so. Maybe a few things did make me happy.. i got lots of OWED time to payback.. siigh.. ALL the best to me.. or i would have amazingly ruined my own life.. gulp*

REGARDS TO THE " S: F@$%in Crazy " haha... OOPs.. i didn't realize that was there.. oh well.. who reads this anyways.. ha.. my readers i guess is 6? 7 at most? ohhhh 8.. ha maybe more i don't know..

2008-06-12T21:19:00.002+08:00

something i found off my friendster friend's bulletin

A : You like to drink.

B : You like people.

C : You are really silly.

D : You like to drink.

E : You like to drink.

F : You are dead sexy.

G : You never let people tell you what to do.

H : You have a very good personality and good looks.

I : Easy to be with

J : People Adore you.

K : You're wild and crazy.

L : Everyone loves you.

M : Best kisser ever.

N : Best bf/gf anyone could ask for.

O : Easy to fall in love with.

P : You are popular with all types of people.

Q : You are a hypocrite.

R : You're loyal to those you love.

S : Fuckin crazy.

T : awesome kisser.

U : You really like to chill.

V : Awesome in bed

W : You are very broad minded.

X : You love sports.

Y : Best bf/gf anyone could ask for.

Z : Always ready.

so if i do this it would be

I : Easy to be with

V : Awesome in bed
A : You like to drink.

N : Best bf/gf anyone could ask for.

ha ok that was dumb... but >.<

arghh tmr lesson.. i've done my best this week already.. like really sit down and focus on a portion of the score and just digest it over and over again and force memorize.. BUT till today.. once i close the book? i forget 60% of it!.. Arghh!!!... i'm going to get IT tomorrow... may a miracle happen tomorrow morning =P..

ok this week has been rather hectic.. riding the rollercoaster of my mind.. (and i ain't a fan of thrills that costs my life >< ) day after day its been UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN.. and down can get rather bad.. like tuesday was DOOOWWWWWNNNNNN!!!!... but the next day it went UUUPPPPPPPPP then Down then ......... u know how it goes.. i want to like be on 90 degrees instead of 360.... i'm having mind paralysis now.. not exactly sure of the cause but ha its numb!!..

honey + lime + bittergourd + soy sauce = burst of life =P

2008-06-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

haha watched Narnia today at GV Plaza... i forced my friends to watch again >.< haha... then we were like omg.. 3 hours.. haha.. dying inside.. but it was quite nice i suppose.. the action and stuff.. hmm the viewers were true.. its not as exciting as the 1st movie.. haha.. so i got a little bored in a way.. i sat on the chair till my back hurts.. ha.. then we left on our trek to cineleisure to eat Suki Sushi.. then i saw the giant poster.. Cathay Cinema's Student Deals $6 per tic from Mon-Fri b4 6pm.. i was like Siiiighh... but nvm.. haha... then suki sushi super long queue.. then theres 4 of us.. so the other 3 of us (AS USUAL) make Andrew stay on the line while we go walk around (haha soo mean).. then we finally got a seat.. then we ate and ate and ate.. (i need to go and like yes exercise soon at this rate)

b4 we head home i was like OMG.. so full liao... haha then matthew said "i'll only leave this place Full? or Dead!." haha.. then i decided to take NEL home since its only 1 train ride instead of sitting on bus + bus or train + bus.. so i save 1 trip of wadever the transport is..

got home and lucky no proper dinner.. it was just popiah.. phew*... made my own version ^^ ... pillow popiah.. haha V_^^_V ...

then i watched last episode of "the legend" ok a ending i TOTALLY did not expect it was soo -_-..... then i went to prac.. after prac comments? not good.. ha.. i shall try to like focus more tomorrow.. and get it memorised!!.. everytime close the book like 65% gone liao.. oh well keep trying..

2008-06-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

boring day it was.. spent basically my whole day watching "The Legend" and practicing.. i got a lot of work to put in.. i guess i should stop feeling so distracted.. but i can't help it... now i'm just rather frustrated at things as how they're going.. i'm not progressing well at all..

fate said.. to get what i want now? i must sacrifice my world for it.. how far am i willing to give my all.. but well.. maybe all..

Patience... sigh.. July is coming.. and well seriously.. i fear the day.. the stress builds.. and i gotta like cope with it.. ah.. all the best to myself.. the 2 things in my life i care most about..

=)

2008-06-07T00:17:00.002+08:00

eventful friday... chatted away in the morning then suddenly i just felt my mood went soo crappy when it was rather happy so i just wanted to practice my pipa and forget that feeling.. which i did.. and almost caused me to be late for theory haha..

theory was fun i supose just tiring as usual.. we had like some tea session at Ben's place.. so funny.. then chat chat chat and we went Bishan to eat at the Foodcourt.. OMG the western stall is soo nice.. after eating the Chicken Chop? i can't eat anything else ler.. i was rather full and it was pretty nice.. =) . satisfied... ha next time shall try the fish.. then we walked around J8 for a while looking for cosmetics that are cheap... which we didn't.. so we went AMK hub.. haha my 1st time there..

OMG AMK changed so much lor.. from like 6 years back haha.. hmm haha... well its quite big.. and its quite interesting to have the shops on the left and the bus terminals on the right.. quite interesting.. so me and xq like had a adventure around AMK hub.. we more or less know our way to UOB and DBS liao haha.. ok its rather boring there.. but ha.. the fresh mango ice is very nice..

well headed home.. been a long time since i last took 130 home from amk.. ah well interesting day.. got home MSN.. haha... rather no life ba.. nothing else much to look forward to..

sigh so tired lately.. but then me being me.. i still press on... thus making it even more tiring.. i don't really want to give up so i won't.. just hope things can get smoother soon.. maybe its just me.. but.. sighh.. 振作一点 ... don't think too much ba... self advice haha.. ah well.. tomorrow going to be another boring day.. no one to go out with just me and me alone.. sigh.. this sucks..

i just need to know that i've made a little progress and that could change my day.. =) .. keep trying ba..

2008-06-05T11:08:00.000+08:00

ok.. blogspot is kinda cranky today.. but ah well.. i'm just going to blabber crap once again here.. at least i'm more awake of what i'm blabbering.. haha.. just felt like blabbering more since i got tired of writing in the black book.. =P so bear with me...

arghhh SOUR!!!... ok maybe i got no right to say this but .... nvm i think i shall continue to persuade myself to not think too much about it.. let things become clearer then i shall do something about it.. clearer?? how!!... siigh.. so many things i wanna ask yet i... you know.. don't ask..

double sad... my movie buddy watched Narnia Prince Caspian liao.. T.T nobody to watch with me.. sad... Anybody Interested??? please leave a message.. hahahaa.. (got a feeling that'll be 0 response).. =X haha if nobody then i guess i'll skip it... since going to the cinema alone derives the whole point of it.. haha.. (lame excuses)...

ok bored.. i shall update some chalet pics..

ok captions..

pic 01. The pipaians and 1 erhu and 1 yangqin.. haha.. not proportionate. but it was still fun.

pic 02. Scandal?? wad rubbish.. hahaha.. its definitely not lor. =P

pic 03. Why is there such a pic of me??

pic 04. Credits: Samuel Wong... haha i'm a cheery person?? hmmm...

pic 05. Credits: Samuel Wong... haha this is a cheery person.. foreva loved by everyone =P... (xian4 mu4)

pic 06. O.o li dat also need to take.. =p

are we having another chalet on december??? haha... OMG... please let there be more beds.. or people will find me (depends if they are still awake) online in msn at 3am... Haahaaa.. don't let history of Dec 2007 chalet's reoccur.. haha.. i don't want to lie down in my middle of the living room on the cold hard floor with a fan above me while everyone else is either in the room sleeping in aircon and tugged in.. or lying on the mattresses next to me.. -_-.. (you have no idea how sad that felt..) haha...

thats all for now.. will re update later tonite

2008-06-04T18:18:00.002+08:00

ok so tuesday... did some travelling again down to bedok to visit my aunt and collect some stuffs.. so it killed about 3+hours of my day.. woke up quite late anyways.. cos i kept falling asleep.. too tired.. busy preparing for lesson again.. sigh i can't complete my hw.. T.T need to keep trying to complete it soon... yea so tuesday was really a bore..

watched Koizora (sky of love) in the evening... haha pretty familiar story plot but it was still good.. perhaps better than the other plot.. 2 years of self enduring pain.. forcing oneself to pretend he doesn't love.. hmm.. ok i liked the movie =p

then tuesday ended at 1am.. was too tired to continue doing anything..

so comes today.. well.. i unbored myself by spam practice.. since i have homework that needs to be done.. i hope i can like not present my hw yet and get a new one on Ambush.. i intend to work on that piece.. of cos the MOST IMPORTANT one is still Dragon Boat.. sigh.. "gambate kurosai" to me..

then well evening came.. i was rather bored and tired already.. i sorta memorised half of dragon boat.. (bad progression).. then started msn-ing.. haa.. ok nvm.. so yea.. basically thats just another day of my sad 10month vacation which i don't feel very free in.. had to do a whole lot of house chores.. gotta do the laundry soon when the sun is up hopefully tomorrow.. sigh... its always tiring when my mum's overseas.. =p ..

ah well... all e best to me..

human minds make such simple things so complicated.. i shall let things be simple and not worry to much about it..

2008-06-03T00:36:00.006+08:00

this post can be totally ignored.. it makes no sense.. just random spam

i've been told.. move on from the past.. the past that ended.. has ended.. it won't come back.. not 1 bit.. why not focus on now.. the present and the yet to come.. a song i kept in my desktop.. i just felt like hearing it now.. but its there.. haha...

something sour out there

i guess i just want to give and receive.. ha..

so tired and bored and stuff.. that i'm listening to a musical..

i shall go sleep.. =) tired already.. =)

2008-06-02T23:45:00.002+08:00

i'm back from chalet.. although i did say i'm friggin tired.. but guess i'm not knocking out so soon yet.. ha wanted to blog a few days ago but thanks to a crappy collision on downtowneast VS Wireless@SG they cut my connection and i lost my blog post and really had Zero mood to re type everything..

chalet was undeniably fun.. although i do lack a lot of sleep.. i'm rather zombie i think.. and i was commented a corpse for falling asleep on Day 2.. cos it was apparently so that they were making lotsa lotsa noise and i seem unaffected by it At all.. haha.. thats for making me stay up till 6am in the morning still looking at everyone sleep!!.. well of cos with that.. me and xueqi left for mcdonald's to just sit and chill since it was Hot..(3am?).. and we were dead bored and everyone else is asleep occupying all the space.. so iPhone helped us kill some time while we're there.. i was shocked or beyond disbelief that my msn actually had someone still on at like wad.. 3am?? i was like OMG.. am i seeing things?? haha.. ok maybe conversation only lasted like 10mins or so.. but oh well.. better than nothing.. then we started blog crashing here and there.. talking about this and that.. started watching Youtube while eating the Fury Feast meal or something.. Spicy McNuggets are commendable but the freaking onion rings are like NOT.. so haha watch what you eat...

day 2.. ah well.. i'm tired what can u expect from tired me.. nothing much after all i ended up sleeping peacefully just lying there and drifting off.. then the group of pipaians came of cos not all but at least most of all.. haha.. then we took group pics and etc etc.. of cos at nite.. i mean morning... i really wanted to go mcdonald again cos this time we're sardining ourselves!.. 6 people on 2 single beds.. -_-... i thought staying awake would be better..

day 3...gosh even more tired... and well went for a wake in the evening.. then got really really really tired... but still lived.. to sleep at nite.. still Sardined, but was notified that i pushed nic off e bed.. lol? did i?? haha.. i don't recall me actually doing such things before.. ha...

day 4.. sadly abruptly awoken in the morning 5 mins b4 10am.. siiigh.. haha.. didn't wanna wake so soon yet.. and then we booked out.. ate breakfast.. i crashed by xq's place till like evening.. since i retardedly locked myself out of the house.. >.> oops.. haha.. watched Million Stars... played audi... which i deproved in a lot... and then went to have Ljs for dinner.. Cheese Sauce*..

ok so basically chalet was fun during the night.. (before morning).. we played Fatal Frame on the xbox.. of cos its 1 player.. so we see who has the guts to hold the control.. haha.. the person holding the control is the one who will freak out the most and is MOSTLY PRESSURIZED.. but we actually finished the game by the last nite we have there.. Yay!.. mission accomplish.. haha.. man the 2nd nite we didn't play long cos we didn't want to anymore.. it was mind torturing.. we were freaked out of our wits.. with ghosts suddenly appearing in front of your camera.. my god.. its UGLY!!.. and the game got freakier as it improves to 3 ghosts attacking you at once... i swear i still have a mental image of those ghosts and they still freak me out when i'm alone.. which i still am.. T.T ... i need company.. haha..

well.. chalet is really fun.. just sleepless at times and well sleeping can be fun at times... haha.. sadly my Monopoly wasn't touched.. haa..

well when i got home.. i just rushed online and well.. its still lifeless.. wad a sad monday.. ha.. my frens in NP all chionging study for CT.. so i guess i can't say much.. haa.. ah well back to my practicing routine.. i got 1 more month left to settle everything.. i'm very behind time.. need to work hard already.. or at least work smart also..

i wanna watch Narnia Prince Caspian.. =p.. of cos i'll need to finance my money at the moment.. and theres quite a lot of things i need to do.. looking forward to having stuffs to do this june.. activities will be fun.. cos i finally get to do stuffs out of my whole damn boring 10 months holiday..

i think i'm just madly into a certain thing.. so much so it affects my everyday.. i get irritated for thinking about it every moment but i can't help it.. i just wanted to.. i wanna move on to the next stage.. =) i believe in it..

i fell for a certain cow =)

2008-05-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

This was all on Wednesday Morning =)

i like the word Common.. Ha!... it makes things seem easy yet difficult.. because theres a common factor.. like can 2 overule 2? but in every common theres always a slight difference just like -2 over +2.. haha.. thats what they call as balance..

3rd day in waiting for the phone call.. i hope i get it soon.. i need to create some sounds... the empty silence is rather boring.. and yet.. its another scorching day.. and i was thinking of bedok.. no idea why..

gosh.. ok la.. my morning quite happy haha.. at least wasn't bored to death... then afternoon was a total bore... literally Zzzzzzzzzz.... until i got the call from kunrui around 3.30.. was like YES!!.. its done..

collected my qin brought it home and started playing with it.. grasp back the sound.. haha.. i still like it now as it is then the old one.. haha.. 1 "faceboard" can make so much difference Haa..

then night came.. my MSN is back alive.. thankfully.. but ok there was a period of waiting for all to be on was quite a bore.. but i still had my qin to accompany me.. haha

Sign Off

YET i didn't quite press publish post. haha ok this is Thursday Afternoon..

sigh... i woke up not too early but still ok.. then well haha.. nothing to say.. MSN is forever dead silent in the morning and afternoon.. of cos i was eating while watching Ugly Betty season 2. and placed my status on online mode? and man i get that irritation of hearing the Ding ding Dings!!!.. guess its been like 2 years since i last put myself on online mode.. haha..

after Ugly Betty(finished watching Season2) ate lunch and practiced.. ha... now i'm beat.. spent a lot of time digesting DragonBoat.. still not really there yet? but i think i can do it.. of cos i'm still happy with how golden dream is progressing but haha thats not the main point for now.. haa.. Ambush i kinda just looked through it at the end and did some video watching and yea... started thinking how to do this and that...

hmm haha.. at least i'm happy with whatever i do recently =) .. looking forward to this weekend and Next week.. hopefully =p.. at least thankfully the weather isn't scorching anymore after 2 days of rain..

rights i think i should start packing soon but haha nvm.. i shall not use that as an excuse.. (bleah =X) ha

been doing some thinking and haha.. i thought about whats going to happen on December.. haha.. then i realised i never really paid any attention to the upcoming concert haha HsingHai.. and my mo he gongzhu.. haha...

anyways hope my readers are all doing well... see most of you tomorrow =) we're going to have a fun weekend... haa..

2008-05-27T10:37:00.002+08:00

silly beyond believable!! haha.. i wake up in the morning and this is OMG the 1st thing i said in the morning!.... "Shiiiiiitt wheres my qin".... hahaha i'm so ironic.. when its near me i don't think too much about it.. when that coffin there is just empty.. i keep hoping its there..!! -_-... ah oh well.. i'm sure it'll be back by tomorrow..

gosh.. i woke up so late today.. (have i actually woke up any earlier?? haha) but i slept earlier.. =).. ok not really... since i was waiting for a DL to finish and then just nice about 1minute after it was done my internet got cut off... which was i dunno? 1am.. (hows that any earlier -_-)

for me to sleep too much only has 1 reason.. i'm somewhere in my subconscious mind in a story plot and i refuse to leave it.. so if i'm prematurely awaken i'll just fu1 yan2 that person and shut myself back in again.. Haa... of cos my classmates would know.. if u seriously wake me when i don't want to... you're facing a very very cold person.. haha.. oops =X

gosh i'm suddenly so active with my blog but i blog crap.. haha... nothing thats really interesting or like blogging for a cause.. which i've done that once for a competition but we still lost... duh~~~ stupid cause... haaha.. and the group barely met to discuss we just open that blog and play around make it look nice but the content is like Craaaap... hahaha.. no pics no vids.. just small bites of info.. dots.. how to win... and the prize was N90.. O_O waaa i wanted that phone(2years ago)... hmmm hahaha...

don't mind me.. i'm just killing time here cos my qin isn't with me.. and i feel so.. disabled... probably because when i play with sounds i'm sort of just leaking out what i'm feeling.. haha.. its a better way instead of saying it.. cos its saying in silence that only you yourself will understand..

Fine... you know wad.. i've decided... i'm going to go play my piano instead.. haha... hope i get the phonecall today..

AND hope my day today would be probably just as good as yesterday IN A WAY... b4 9pm.. =) haha

BRB

2008-05-26T23:38:00.002+08:00

you know i think i kinda like Just realised i'm not the supposed me anymore!!.. wheres all my determination gone to.. i give up things now like snap*.. -_-.. thanks sam for like waking me up.. i clearly remember 1 year ago... i was like so upset that i'll never have a chance to aim for conservatory.. and the thing that i kept telling myself and my friends was.. "I really want to do it.. even if i fail i fail happy at least i tried my best"... and now i'm like GIVING THINGS up??? no sense of logic at all.. 0... nada...

what have i been thinking??? 4 years working towards everything and i'm just gonna sit on it like i'm just going to sit on my sand castle???? am i actually even considering the 4 years behind the work??? now i have no idea Whatever that had LOGIC in it to support me pulling out.. Nothing i said had logic to what i've done.. What am i Doing!!... (sorry i'm like flooding myself with myself)...

i not thinking right at all.. and its time to like sit up and think right..(i mean the correct way.. not right as in ->) will i regret pulling out?? truthfully... YES.. so people were suppose to learn from their mistakes... a few screwups and basically you're suppose to not screwup or at least dun screwup as much.. why am i still like repeating history... not making sense.. i think i've mixed too much present with history.. then everything got into like some rojak state.. then everything is WRONG..

i really must Sit down and like focus!!... sort the rojak out like Priorities.. Reminiscing does not equal to Bringing past mistakes along to the present... Nows now.. then is then... later is later.. get it in...

1 person i must apologise to is my good friend Xq.. Sorry... because of my ( i have no idea what to describe this At ALL ) .. u had to listen to me and anything along that line with all the trash and nonsense... when it really isn't your business.. but ure still taking it all in... "Hontoni Gomenasai"

arghh.. right.. set things right.. set things right.. hardwork = results... results = hardwork.. right.. so basically what i should be doing is Working about it and not thinking of what ifs...

Philosophy gone wrong~

2008-05-26T18:56:00.002+08:00

hmmm random note...

i wanna go sit on the Ferris Wheel one day.. haha.. -_-.. irony is that i don't really like feeling up too high.. haha...!!

Monday is a ToTal BORE!!!.. no qin... no msn contacts.. no Nuthin!!... -_-... its always such a bore... but i guess i'm still happy i suppose.. no more concerts for May already.. hurrah.. i survived the horrible extra expenses... haha.. ok i didn't really spend a lot but stiilll~~~~.. haha.. chalet.. Friday... ARGHH!!!!....sooo looonnngg.. i hope the apartment there got Wireless@SG.. heh heh.. i still wanna blog and read blogs.. and tag and read tags.. Haha (damn i sound so no life).. i've yet to collect my Golden Village Birthday Promo... 2 for 1 Movie Ticket.. wanna watch Narnia Prince Caspian.. anybody keen? haha..

how fast.. May is already ending... and not too long ago was the start of May.. haha... i want May to come again.. (maybe not along with ALL THE CONCERTS).. haha.. next year is SYF for JC/Sec school.. haha hope i got time to go watch.. haha.. and show my support =p haha

anyways thats soo faaaaar away.. Right i'm probably still going to do this... COME WATCH HsingHai CO concert.. ha... come support me.. !! my 1st time Solo-ing hahaha... (omg am i a Noob? (NO!!!)).. anyways come.. haha ticket information will be out soon i guess.. REMINDER.. 7.30pm SCH 13JULY!!!...

To be Continued perhaps later.. =)

hmm.. wad a week last week was =)

2008-05-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

alrights.. fine my previous post was probably just really -_-.. and here i am to continue on where i left off last nite (wad a horrible lame lie)

TJCO... i thought Wen Cheng Gong Zhu and the last 2 songs were quite nice.. the rest were err...... no comments.. Mo He GongZhu... erm.... nevermind.. i think i can do something better. =p .. hope so ba... 13 July =p... haha.. WenCheng GongZhu hmmm the Sheng soloist not bad.. sound wise and ya... at least there was a "jing1shen3"...

haha truth was i thought i was going to be bored to death by another JC CO.. hmm okay proven wrong. last 2 songs.. well.. in a way they're pretty boring BUT.. well... i still thought it was quite ok... with the pop fusion and stuff.. it well entertains the General Public.. something New something Fresh... you know... that Refreshing sense... yea.. hmm has been a long time since i seen someone play SanXian already... the last time was like the lamest shit... 2 over tuned strings and just play on Free string.. -_-... for convenience sake.. haha.. (arghh!! u dare hit me i'll hack u)...

Today haha... sadly.. i thought i was too early for HsingHai.. WHO KNEW.. there was early rehearsal.. so i was actually LATE.. sigh.. again.. haha. just nice once i've settled down time to play my GongZhu solo liao.. haha... YES!!!... Shen Laoshi never say my part got prob liao.. haha... must be the Qin saved me.. haha..

went to kunrui's place.. picked up xq's qin and left mine there to fill 2 friggin holes.. sigh... Postman have bad attitude. haha just kidding..

then well.. we went to Lavender Street (Eminent Plaza) to eat my WELL RECOMMENDED GuoTie.. seee xq... i told you its yi4liu2... haha.. then we continue our trip to SCH.. which we overshot the bus stop.. so well.. shiiit.. haha..

then went to watch the Father and Son and Daughter-in-law concert.. nothing was interesting.. other than the ErHu songs.. HA!! well watch too many concerts recently.. watch and then go home feeling tired.. haha who knew i'll see "Samantha Lim Kwuan Boon" ( O_O ) there.. hahha.. ok la.. very long never see him liao.. the last time was like at Seoul Garden some months ago.. saw a lot of familiar faces there.. ah well kind of expected.. its a SCO concert.. of cos will see the regulars.. haa...

went to Lao Pa Sat after that with Jake,Brian,Xq,Yq,Jeremy,Shunta... and i treat them Satay.. LOL... ok only xq and jeremy nvr eat.. ah oh well... once in a long time.. won't really hurt i guess.. worse come to worse one friday nite i go to GECO to """rehearse""" then they treat me supper after practice.. Ha!!.

Siigh.. tomorrow monday.. waiting for Friday to come. haa. Chalet.. so fun...

2008-05-24T22:23:00.002+08:00

haha I'm back to blog.. I had lesson that day.. I guess in a way it was ok.. Could have done better though..

After much consideration and thinking... i came to a decision on the day itself... Ha I actually went to watch tjco alone.. Dont ask y.. Haa.. So I sat somewhere around the left side and I was at the wing where tanbo is situated on stage.. Haha shocked.. In fact very.. Then well haha concert started and I'm like erm..... Wow this view infront of me.. Haa.. nothing to say..

Then interval found jeremy and yq.. but after interval i was alone again .. hah.. very funny.. a smile that could change a mood.. haha.. >.> hah... nvm.. shall not harp on it or comment anymore on it.. then yes concert was rather nice.. better than ACCO... then.. well... show ended.. i thought of saying hi to someone but well yea... being crowded and lotsa people... i decided to make a move 1st instead.. =p... well met a lot of Music Camp friends at the concert.. haha.. very long never chat with them liao...

Tomorrow got to move boxes of clothes to a pickup point to be sent to Myanmar/SiChuan.. at 715am Zzzz... then go to KunRui's place to get my pipa fixed.. (its back haa and it totally ROCKS!!) then got to go to HsingHai... Yawwnn....~~~.. haha till then ba..

the smile i don't think i'll ever forget =p

2008-05-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

arghhh.. why must i know... now i know a few more things that supposedly can make me hyper yet broke.. sigh.... and i thought i already gave up haha...

NO.. i shall not think too much.. a few hours time having lesson.. i shall try and not be distracted... sigh.. must do well or AT LEAST i must produce the basics tomorrow.. if my basics are screwed.. man... i'm screwed.. ah well.. my own fault for skipping lessons.. but i don't think it'll be that bad.. i looked into my sound and stuff today.. thought it should be okay now.. more or less something ideal in a way..

i've broken up parts of the song to slowly memorize and compare with the video.. haa..

I wish myself all the best for Lesson.. although i'm still rather afraid i'm going to like go there panic and do everything wrong.. and get scolded real badly.. cos this is not the least i can do.. and it just clearly shows i never put in my best effort.. and it just looks down on me.. that i'm still like this.. after so many events that occured due to this habbit.. then i disappoint me peers again.. then i get sad/depressed.. i start going extreme.. i start isolating.. i start doing stupid things... then the whole process repeats.. like a cycle.. a Vicious Cycle..

I shall aim... in order to achieve these aims i must 1st complete whatever that has to be done 1st and get the priorities right.. all the best to my new sense of hardwork... ha... hope its good and stays good and i STAY on the RIGHT TRACK.... i factually don't want to lose and am scared of losing.. yet the 1st thing that has already happened is that i'm already losing to myself.. ha Irony!!!.. am i sane?? i'm kinda like talking to myself now.. and spinning questions at myself and answering them myself.. O_O... must be the fatigue setting in..

Sign OFF =)

2008-05-20T23:33:00.002+08:00

haha... YES finally got my qin back.. so HAPPY... now i am SOOO determined to prac... had no feeling to really prac a lot past few weeks.. but now i'm so hyped about making me and my qin grow. HA (sounds awfully corny)...

Sunday had HH rehearsal 1 hour early... what can i say.. i didn't do well for Gong Zhu again -_-.... I MUST work on that.. hee.. then well haha quite fun in a way... we settled lunch at the prata house opposite fortune centre.. and watched the life of a poor "Ice Mountain" bottle.. crushed by cars and many more... screaming in desperate help to not be continued getting crushed.. (LAME!!)

then we went to SCH watch ACCO.. I TOTALLY DIDN'T ENJOY IT... ok.. i shall not say much since i'm NO better.. haha but seriously.. the concerto was O_O!!!!!.. OMG?!?!? it SUX.. oops. haha =X was so tired after watching that horrible show.. got home and fell asleep.. can't beat fatigue anymore..

anyways.. hmm Vesak was spent... practicing... so nothing much to say haha..

today went down to Lasalle to pay up my semester fees.. YAY i'm in... haha.. or YAY??... dunno.. sometimes just doubt about what i do is really what i want to do.. But oh well... siigh... then went to meet xueqi for lunch then we decided to chill awhile... then head home.. who knows.. the qins are back.. WHEeeee... so high.. haha.. i miss my qin.. and just nice chunmei need her's back.. what a coincidental event..

although i'm currently rather uncertain about my qin and its sound projection at the moment?? but i shall look deeper into it tomorrow morning.. =)... haha...

then we headed back to Dhoby Ghaut AGAIN... and had Carls Jr.... heh heh.. its BIIG.. then went Carefour cos i needa do grocery... (always running errands almost everyday)... then met this really really bitched old lady.. but well too tired to bitch with her.. and besides what can i say since shes already so ""OLD""... (lol i'd rather still call her bitch) ha..

NEWS:
Flying Fish caught sighted/videoed and has been recorded for being air borne for 45s... wow to fly for 45s.. what a sight.. haha

2008-05-18T02:58:00.002+08:00

haha I offed my comp then realise I haven't blog lately. Haha. So I shall blog using my phone haha.

Yesterday met xueqi N nic to play audi ha. So sad it was $2. Earlier was also $2. Today is $1.20. Cos its already Sunday haha.

Had super steambot buffet earlier. Haha though maybe not very appealing but its definitely worth it. Ha and then we play LAN again after dinner haha. Audi addicts. But it helps in our practice lor so in a way its still constructive haha...

Later hh rehearsal I think I'm going to screw up again. I'm always the first song so sad ha. Then after that I shall continue to fix my wireless@SG. I will fix it so I can youtube with my phone when im bored outdoors ha.

Ok la so I got an iPhone for a present, I guess I can call it a present haha. Its soo fun. Haha ok I shall knockoff liao, tmr rehearsal 1hr advanced ha. K till tonite then...

2008-05-14T23:16:00.002+08:00

hmm yesterday.. well didn't do much exactly... went to Lasalle to pick up the good news.. i'm IN... whee.. then went home sleep play prac and everything..

came out in the evening met my lovely friends.. ate at cafe cartel.. (ouch).... then well had a very interesting concept of cake... Donut!.. haha... it was nice still... then i received 2 VERY VERY nice looking shirts.. 1 rather funny.. but i wore it anyways.. " HOW TO GET A BOYFRIEND ".. so i win.. =).. haha.. and xueqi picked for me a trendy brown shirt.. haha.. i finally get to look more IN now.. LOL

Today today.. went to K Lunch wif XueQi.. haha.. was rather sleepy though.. ha.. woke up kinda early.. i somehow forced myself awake and discovered it was 10+ already.. yet i still feel like sleeping.. ha.. hmm lunch was.. Chicken (tasted like KFC), Mushrooms (really cold), """Abalone"""(LOL), Rice, Mua Chi (had coconut filling on the skin)... mmm i prefer the one i had last time... Fish and etc etc.. a jap meal.. lol.. 一眼瞬间 was soo fun.. haha.. i admit.. i still will get a little lost in between wif all the harmonising HAHA.. but i believe my entrance was VERY GOOD. haha.. =p..

then we went to Plaza Singapura cos XueQi felt like buying shirts and i had well pretty much no preference of what to do.. cos i really dunno what to do also HA.. then we went Fila bought really nice shirts.. i like my green shirt.. sadly theres only L but i bought it Anyways.. woo.. haha.. then i wanted to eat Creamy Clam Chowder cos its $1.. (cheapskate).. then when i ordered 2.. the cashier asked if i wanted to buy a meal..i was like "erm..... No." lol!!.. why should i buy a meal when all i want is soup lol... haha then well tired and nothing much left to do we headed home.. =)..

got home on my comp and fell asleep.. haha.. i think thats all i do.. sleep and sleep haha.. need to prac!!!.. going for lesson next week.. i promise i made with myself.. LOL.. so i by right shouldn't break it.. =p..

soo now... i guess i'll go find a better looking skin.. this one is getting boring and ugly =p... i've still yet start learning how to use photoshop so i can make my own blogskin.. =)

2008-05-12T21:30:00.002+08:00

lol... this is rather lame.. but a certain someone told me this... "you have 5 wishes on the eve of your birthday and to fulfill them you must wish them to be fulfilled on that day of your birthday" so ok haha here goes

1. I wish that I will continue to change to be a better man.. (LoL)
2. I wish that that something i've hoped for would come true..
3. I wish that my friends will all stay healthy and happy.
4. Wish my family will stay healthy and happy too..
5. Wish that from here on.. things will get better..

=)

lol.. kinda lame but..haaa.. till then =)

2008-05-10T00:20:00.003+08:00

hmmm.. had my interview at Lasalle today... HAPPY HAPPY~!!!!.. getting results on Tuesday.. i definitely HOPE to get in.....

went to nic's house today to play comp... haha.. quite hard... everything very low for a very tall person like me. HA!!.... then after that had sakae sushi buffet.. i wasted money man... WASTED!!!... ate a while full then left.. sigh..

Met Mary Goh at Raffles City.. hah.. then begin our trek to VJC... quite far i suppose.. then got there.. amazed.. they actually have a Snapple Machine.. so cool..ha... then watched concert... b4 concert i actually quite crazy haha i was sitting with nic at 1st and then we talked lots of trash.. ha.. dots lar... WeiJie has like gone dumb stupid and retarded.. excuse him for it.. hah.. ok la.. concert quite nice... other than hearing solos.. quite chills*.. but haha.. other than that its an entertainment show i suppose..

after concert went Mc at Siglap..then i walked back to VJC to take bus.. -_-... if known earlier might as well walk to Mc also.. haha.. got home around 12am.. HA i'm the last person to reach home.. OOPS.. haha so now i'm here spamming partly rubbish.. haha.

2008-05-08T22:27:00.002+08:00

Unexpected twist of events.. things in my life changed a bit here and there this week.. well perhaps i could say they were mainly downs.. but hoping for a better week next week... this week is as disastrous as it can get already... well not that it is something i cannot handle... i'm still in control of my moods at least thats good.. haha.. sigh.. been in a PINCH... Nafa has send me the Letter already.. i must confirm by 16 May... and my Lasalle interview is really dragging... going down tomorrow to see them personally.. i cannot drag this any longer.. they screwed up my application first i don't see why they can't repay me back the favor by pushing forward my interview and results.. i cannot afford to drag if they can't assure me a place.. of cos i know they need students but still.. being normal human.. its only normal to push for something safer..

IF lasalle really rejects me and i rejected NAFA by then already?? haha... i guess i got more things to give up on... cos i'll be enlisted for NS.. omg... but hopefully that won't come so soon.. cos if it did.. i really don't know what to say.. haha..

today i've been rather.. extreme i agree.. i was stressed and in such a pinch.. then i still can be hyper over other things.. i guess i just try to cover up the bad things happening.. haha.. i dunno..

2008-05-08T02:05:00.000+08:00

You Should Be A Taurus

What's good about you: you're stable, responsible, and loyal to those around you

What's bad about you: you're stubborn and overly cautious - change is not easy

In love: it's easy to melt your heart with traditional romantic gestures

In friendship, you're: loyal - you'll do almost anything for a friend

Your ideal job: chef, jewelry designer, or actor

Your sense of fashion: sleek, designer, and very expensive

You like to pig out on: steak and cheesecake

What Sign Should You Be?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive.

Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men

You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

2008-05-06T23:16:00.002+08:00

wad can i say... history repeats.. i have already assumed what happened... i hate it when people know something and then they tell me indirectly and then they hide it.. it makes me think that they are making me to try and doubt.. but they know what really happens and refuse to say.. me being me.. deleting is all part of my life... i am not open to just anybody.. neither do i show myself to just anybody.. right now.. i think its stupid to call anyone and i dunno just do what i want to do.. in fact i made that stupid choice all along.. i was prepared for this wasn't i? or was i only prepared for the previous incident but not this.. i don't know.. i don't want to know...

am i a failure or a disaster.. anyway thanks for telling me finally even though i already knew it since 2 days ago.. i want to be alone.. but fact is i don't.. i say it for saying it sake.. i hate this...

oh well.. been warned.. not by one but by 5.... take life as it is huh.. ok then.. take it as it is..

tmr accompanying my mum to KK again.. hope after everything is settled she'll be fine.. till then...

2008-05-04T22:06:00.002+08:00

haha wad can i say. Theory yesterday was really a bore.. but before theory was super funny.. Pizza Hut Breakfast/Lunch.. Not very normal for me haha.. CANNOT!!!! its May liao. cannot spend a xtreme lifestyle's worth of money this month.. must conserve and preserve.. haha.. After theory so tired... then poor yq was alone so i accompany her all the way to novena.. i got home almost fell asleep actually.. then well haha smsing xq kept me slightly awake.. then parents call me go eat dinner.. dragged myself out-----... after dinner came home... prac for like 30mins and fell asleep.. too much accumulated fatigue.. haha.. then woke up around 11ish.. msn people a while... then felt tired and plomp* back to sleep haha.. All Theory's fault.. =p

Today had Hsing Hai.. what can i say.. i never fail to malu myself in front of people again.. ha... i played like shit for Muo He Gong Zhu erm... AGAIN!!!.. dunno why.. feel like giving it up.. hmmm dunno la.. i feel rather constrained playing that song.. then Lunch came.. haha "small bowl noodle" niiice.. went back HH and then play Peacock flying East and South.. don't like it =p... and partly i can't play it HAHA... oops..

after HH so fun.. me, xq and tk went Headquarters play Audi... LOL.. ehhh not bad liao... i already improving with chance okay.. can complete all the way till Finish Move.. Very Good.. Good Job SuperMusica.. bought new shirt for 50k Den.. felt the pain but now i look so cool.. =p.. wad! can't i zi lian with my own character? hahha... but then somehow always top scorer then kana kick to lao pa sat.. so demoralizing.. haha. no la.. its Fun... then somehow today this 2 words keep coming to me 認命...

after awhile started thinking.. i want give up solo i want give up competition... then stop for a while.. somehow this don't sound like the me whos always determined to do something about it if i can't do it... not a me whos willing to challenge anything no matter how hard it is.. so for now i shall zip up.. and try... unless i really cannot change things then i guess i'll choose to give it up..

OMG bugis junction... money spending haven.. haha.. i want buy Zinc Bag, Converse Shoe, a few shirts here and there... that set of clothes from that shop.. this that that this... haha.. cannot la.. its may.... CONSERVE... haha.. now i'm home and haha rather tired.. =p

認命 wad a word.. haha

"Yesterday was History
Tomorrow is a Mystery"

2008-05-02T22:53:00.002+08:00

haa.had my interview yesterday?? haha.. it was fun.. the auditor was a very funny person... haha.. i regret saying i wanted to take up Music based Foundation instead. hah.. i should have said i want to learn Theatre.. =p... they are both things that i have deep interest in.. haha.. maybe because i'm a very dramatic person.. Ha!!!. so i was posted for another interview on another day with the Music Foundation Auditor.. hope that person is someone nice too.. haha.. the staff at Lasalle all very nice to me =p.. they actually remember who i am.. such nice people.. =p

haha..today is such a hot day.. thank god i spent practically my whole day under the a wonderful service of Air-conditioning.. haa at Kbox at least.. HA!!. so with my rather blocked voice.. i still go K.. i'm just too good.. hahah.. went with xq.. as usual.. haha.. then we do our super duets again.. of cos 珊瑚海 still very bad... haha partly my fault..

then we ate at 日本村.. Cha Soba there is NEVER going to be on my menu EVER AGAIN.. vomit*..

haha.. i've gotten slightly madder recently.. cos its MAY... hah... the month where i spend a lot of money.. yet i still want to spend more for personal use HA... -_-... i've been eyeing this Jacket at Recoil since like haha 2 months ago... don't dare fork out the money to buy... HAHA. anything above $10 requires a very long time for me to decide to buy or not.. haha... aiya.. i'm just a very budget person.. or at least when i need to... can't help it.. pathetic me is still jobless because i can't get 1 or i'm just FAR too picky.. =p

Tomorrow got Theory lesson.. Zzzzz.. its a bore.. seriously.. haha.. but the mornings are fun.. haha.. Breakfast and a funny time doing theory hw with xq... especially intervals.. spend so much time on it.. then correct each other cos dunno how to count.. HAHA..

I can't say i have Mc craving now.. cos i'm VERY Full... cha soba made me lose all my appetite.. haha.. or maybe due to other reasons but ya... haha thought of something funny i shall try and do on my next K session.. =p... XQ be prepared to either feel super dots/shocked or laugh your head off.. HAHA... lets see if i put in enough effort to prepare that.. haha..

should start be sleep early... or i look more Pandaren than ever.. just realized it when i saw myself in the mirror earlier... ha..

2008-04-29T12:15:00.002+08:00

i realised.. recently learnt this.. i will not die because there is food shortage but i got poisoned along the way.. ha.. that day i had Mixed rice? i found a metal strip from the metal scrub in my meat ball soup.. i was pretty much very disturbed and didn't feel like eating anymore.. then Today? my mum bought back mixed rice? i ate a bit of rice decided to eat some curry veg? and OMG in the heart of that pile i saw a fried fly... WITH ITS WHOLE BODY INTACT.. just slightly transparent already.. i swear i almost threw up.. sigh... its safer to DIY.. hahaa.. i want another DIY Lunch party !!! =p .

Anyways.. haha last Friday had lesson.. i lived.. thankfully.. just need to prep for my interview/audition for Lasalle tomorrow only..

Sadly i'm currently SICK.. -_-... sigh... can't do a lot of things properly when sick.. haha yesterday audi pek chek... i keep pressing wrong buttons and always miss the 1st round... cos brain not functioning properly liao.. hah.. then sigh.. every few seconds sneeze.. i used a whole pack of tissue in my room. now need to go buy 1 more box... -_-.. haha

Anyways.. haha.. nevermind i don't really intend to stay on the comp too long lately.. cos my laptop very noisy.. making some sorta vibration sound.. especially when its fast.. it is sooo lousy and noisy. haaa

Sunday had Hsing Hai rehearsal... and well we found out the exact Day of Concert... July 13.. 7.30pm.. at SCH... but well.. ya... probably not very interesting.. hope something can be done about the song lineups.. =p..

arghhh.. need my anti-cold herb tea.. and my pipa gao.. =p.. my throat is horrible.. scratchy and dry... and drinking water won't make a diff.. guess its my summer illness again... always sick during summer in Singapore.. April - July..

2008-04-22T11:20:00.002+08:00

haha History was deleted.. haha oops.. ok la.. felt like deleting some history away.. =p..

hmm... haha.. time changes things right.. (at least they have for the past 2 years).. =)... i shall trust time.. HA!!... how unreliable but haha. right so many dates to remember O_O...

May the month of erm... May.. hahaha

13/15/18/20/24/25/29/31 ??? (wads on the 25th?? i forgot totally -_-)

haha.. going to have lesson this friday.. got feeling... its going to be fine i hope.. lol.. hope that day is a good day.. Thursday (tentative) outing... Finally can get out of the house.. stuck in front of the comp with a pipa on me... so can i say i prac 24/7?? haha... as if i would....

REMINDER

Hsing Hai Arts Association Chinese Orchestra Concert is on the 3rd of August..

Details of the song list will be up as soon as it is confirmed.. so far?? ITS GOING TO BE GREAT!!.. SINGAPORE AMATEUR CHINESE ORCHESTRA PREMIER!! haha so ya.. you most probably won't be disappointed in this years songs.. 2 concertos i think? hmmm..

Last year wasn't so bad also wad... a whole stream of Concertos.. (vomit*) lol.. oops.. >.>

2008-04-20T23:59:00.006+08:00

RE-EDITED BY SUPER POPULAR DEMAND!!!

Had HHAS rehearsal today.. haha i played badly today >.> haha.. then had "small bowl noodles" yet again.. HA!.. oh finally the pipa group is 1 group today... so fun.. har har har!!.. well practice was ermm... quite boring.. i want take 1 month leave.. ha..

after prac me and xq went to Headquarters to play Audition.. haha.. so lucky.. today no weekend charge.. so its cheaper.. very good... haha played Audi for 3 hours.. wow.. i usually barely last an hour at home.. HA!!.. while audi-ing was observing the Dota players around me.. 1 guy Very Lousy sia... but he is a very good team player.. haha..

i think when i play audition? i look or it gives me a feeling i'm DAMN 娘.. i shall do something about my public image.. and remove the 娘ness.. ha.. like it goes.. 我可以﹐改變世界﹐改變自己.. =)

after playing we headed to Bras Basah Mc's to chill.. talk talk talk talk... haha.. what i like best.. lol.. then we set for home.

Haha... then got home.. then went to Airport to pick my mum back.. haha she just came back from China.. so ha... i got quite a hand of new stuffs.. ok la. but they are almost under the same category. haha... so ok better than nothing right.???..haha

XUEQI GOT SOLO FOR NI SHANG QU!!!... WOOTS 45seconds of pure erm..... pro-ness.. MUST SUPPORT or you DIE!.. =p

&

I GOT SOLO FOR MUO HE GONG ZHU! =) .. so must watch Hsing Hai Arts Association Chinese Orchestra concert of the 3rd of August ar!~... MUST!! =)

2008-04-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

TODAY so tiring... Morning go NAFA then they tell me 9.30am sharp is for ALL OTHER APPLICANTS EXCEPT ARTS MANAGEMENT.. Arts Management is at 11am.. i swear i wanted to give the examiner a "ji ba lo ker"(haha lol i koping too much vocab from xq lately haaha...) and the test paper quite dumb but OK... not important at all.. Lasalle is my important one.. VERY...

Then afternoon had Theory.. i was already Z_Z... lately no appetite and cannot sleep. sigh... fatigue is really catching up with me... old liao.. not like last time can play comp games for 2 days straight no prob.. now don't sleep 7 hours i already look or feel zombified.. but okay.. like they say.. 要打起精神.. many ways to do it i suppose. haha

Then evening came... hah me and xq reached Singapore Indoor Stadium from City Hall.. trust me the cab driver SUX!... idiot.. xtra charge so high, aircon 不捨得開. when we got there We REALISED. OMG TICKETS ARE AT CHAI CHEE AVE!!!!... then we so "pek chek".. taxi back to chai chee ave and back to SIS... seriously we spent too much money on Taxi liao.. The concert was fun.. hah amused i know quite a lot of songs hor... i just don't remember them till the chorus haha.. and haha i shall say this again.. this experience was made possible thanks to MISS GOH XueQi. haha.. apparently someone didn't get to go.. haha. sadly that person not online also sian.. cannot suan.. (WeiJie you're getting lamer)

DISCLAIMER: THE SECTION BELOW PROBABLY EITHER MAKES NO SENSE OR SIMPLY JUST AIN'T RELATED TO THE DAY IN SOMEWAY OR ANOTHER! =)

hmm received comments lately.. seems like my circle knows it all already.. >.> .. oh well WeiJie here is foreva doing random things.. so now everyone knows.. and wonders like OMG why? haha don't ask why.. cos i dunno.. li dat means li dat lor.. comes comes, goes goes.. haha.. but ok lar.. see how things go.. i gave myself till 24th May.. ha.. lo-ong time..

haa.. you all are.. why would i have something that i'm hiding in my phone >.> ha... well at least if i did also not so easy to find... haha. =X..

seriously lor.. if i seriously change orchestra just for that reason ar.. haha.. i think its dumb.. but haha.. erm.. =p... but ok la... i won't ps HHAS lor... hah.. after all that environment there i'm more familiar.. hah.. and i know nothing about That orchestra. duno conductor duno members(partly liar) duno location(liar) duno rehearsals.. see don't know too many things liao.. HHAS safer.. hahaha.. see how see how.. the future will forever change.. HA just KIDDING.

2008-04-18T23:56:00.000+08:00

haha i'm such a lousy hider.. haha only 2 days of 偷偷默默 and i've already been found out haha... fine.. so now the people closer to me knows.. ha.. and guess so fast somemore.. ha.. then in the end kana suan so long haha.. but ok la.. i'm not angry.. makes me laugh only haha..

today went KLP again.. haha its like usual haunting spot.. we(xq, nic and me) had rockery and the auntie so nice.. give us discounts cos we look like students.. =p.. at least she don't think i'm old.. haa!!.. and we had pastamania which i swore i won't eat pasta again but i did.. and almost threw up haha.. i have NO appetite to eat even though i might be hungry.. ha.. then Pizza was large.. and disturbingly sweet.. after 1 slice i gave up eating it.. then we played arcade.. the drum and Bball as usual.. and also guitar heroes.. ha.. today never get highscore for drum.. but i still got Perfect for 忍著.. haa and i swear i saw a VERY VERY Familiar face on one of the highscores.. hmmm.. and then xq and nic played BON BON 4 times.. normal - hard - hard - normal.. i laugh until couldn't take it anymore.. hahha!!!

having quite a lot of events tomorrow.. going for NAFA entrance exam. which is so not important at all but hope to pass it even so.. and then in the noon got Theory.. then in the evening watching David Tao.. haha which was made possible thanks to a very good friend of mine Miss Goh.(not Ms/Mdm) haha..

DISCLAIMER:
BEFORE YOU READ ANYTHING BELOW THIS BE PREPARED TO THINK THAT I AM TOTALLY SUCH A RANDOM LAME PERSON.. HA!!!

haha do i really behave differently when i like someone? you know i don't realize it at all.. haha.. then was watching TV mobile and nic saw me laughing.. then he say i thinking of other things.. i was like -_-.. dotssss... "i'm watching Tv lar" lol.. haha.. but ok its funny too. so i guess i had a funny Friday.. ha

yesterday was total stress.. 1st time talking to someone and ha.. i didn't even know what to say.. best part of it all. i didn't start the conversation.. but oh well haha.. aiya duno duno duno!!.. don't want to think too much about it neither... like they say.. if it comes it comes.. if it doesn't it doesn't.. so well.. uhm... what should i say.. ha

2008-04-17T23:32:00.001+08:00

feeling a little sick lately... =p slight insomnia and low appetite.. i guess i know the reason why haha.. interesting. haha.. ok random post.. =p

2008-04-16T23:55:00.002+08:00

blogy blogy blog..

sooo i went to the beach.. cooling weather.. got flashy sunglasses.. ha!!.. ok kinda ex but oh well... then head to eat Laksa at Roxy Square.. the hum not fresh.. so got me a little "ouch*".. then we went to the beach.. hmm as usual i feel very.. haha not used to this kind of environment.. the sand the water and stuffs.. took me sometime to tell myself its ok.. then well yea.. 1st time i lit a lighter.. clap clap.. and 1st time i burnt something with a lighter (including myself "Ouch!*" T.T) but ok.. it was fun.. then dinner.. i amazingly ate 1 foot long Subway... the next day i couldn't eat anymore..ha

Sunday came.. went Hsing Hai.. we played the usual... and then we play Beat Ghost.. ha... very easy song for us at least.. haha.. then we went KLP and i was broke.. so beautiful Xueqi treated me Arcade.. we played the drum game and got TOP SCORE!! yay finally!!.. my Jay Chou "Ren Zhe" got S =p.. i beat top score.. yea!! then after all that we had "ramen".. then we walk around a bit more and finally took a shuttle to Kallang and went home.. i was tired.. haha.. carry qin around is tiring.. should have learnt something lighter..ha

Monday was uhm.. well yea.. just another day.. i swear i almost felt myself decaying.. haha

Tuesday was Pizza Pasta day... and omg what a day.. me xq and yq cooked 1 BIG PLATE (Yusheng Size) of Pasta!!!!.. omg i ate it for 4 meals.. i'm not going to eat pasta for 2 weeks.. but it was nice... the pizza was nice too... costs us $10 pax.. =p.. cheaper than having it at Pastamania.. ha... then played games.. here and there.. play guitar play this play that.. watch tv... clean my room.. -_- (so ma-lu)..

Wednesday.. just another day.. did the laundry and was like phew.. DONE.. then the sky blackened. i started cursing and swearing.. then after 1 hour it cleared. thank god.. then yea.. tired.. rather.. haha played Audition for a while.. slow to fast to slow to super fast.. now very very tired.. haha.. anyways yea..

我又偷偷的愛上一個人.